FOXYMORON SUCKS!

EVERYONE'S GOING TO HEAVEN (AND COMING BACK WITH A BOOK DEAL!)

2011-01-14T00:28:00.003-06:00

Listen, we all know I'm not the most religious guy on the planet. Okay, I'm not even close. But working at Borders for the past six months has made me realize that some things are less "miracles" and more "makin' a buck."

About a month or so after being hired, I was assigned the awesome job of re-arranging the entire Religion section. All the Bibles, all the Christian Inspiration, all the Christian Fiction, all the Jewish, Hindu, Atheist, Muslim, etc...everything needed to be arranged and spread out to new shelving in order to make room for new product. So, over the course of two or three shifts, I became very, very, VERY familiar with a lot of books I had never crossed (zing!) paths with prior to this.

One of those books was a bestseller entitled, 90 Minutes in Heaven.

You see, this guy was in a horrible car accident. Died. Went to Heaven for 90 minutes (I guess they have clocks in Heaven) and then woke up alive? Oh, AND THEN decided to write a book about it. And it sold a shitton. (That's a lot)

But that book came out in 2004.

A couple months ago, I started getting lots of people coming in asking about, "This book about a kid who went to Heaven and came back..." and I'd tell them, "Oh you mean 90 Minutes in Heaven," as I walk them over to the Religion section. But they'd stop me and go, "No, I already read that one, this one is about a kid in a wheelchair!"

Yes, there's apparently another book about going to Heaven and coming back. So, I made a mental note and went about my days working and sorting books. Then, around November, a new round of customers came in looking for, "This book about a kid who went to Heaven and came back!" As I go to grab "The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven" they stop me and say, "No, I already read that one, this kid isn't in a wheelchair!"

Ugh. Heaven is for Real! Soooooo, TWO books about children going to Heaven and coming back come out within months of each other?! Seriously?! I know I'm a cynical asshole, but c'mon!!! You got to admit that's pretty far fetched...even if you believe in Heaven and religion in general.

But, my absolute favorite is a guy who wrote a book not about going to Heaven and back, but HELL!!!

He even wrote an amazing follow up entitled, 23 Questions About Hell which answers incredibly complex questions such as, "Isn't God mean for making Hell?" and explaining that Hell is actually within the center of the Earth. Yeah, you didn't know that?! Hell is exactly 3,700 miles underneath the Earth's center. Which means we can totally go visit if we just dig deep enough!

Oh, and course all of these books are located in the Christian Inspiration section, not Christian Fiction...

BEST MOVIES OF 2009! (THAT I SAW)

2010-01-01T17:42:00.005-06:00

(keep in mind, I did not see: THE HURT LOCKER, MOON, A SINGLE MAN, A SERIOUS MAN, THE INFORMANT, PRECIOUS and a few others...but I did see these...)

10. WATCHMEN

Yes, it was long. Yes, it was based on an unfilmable graphic novel. Yes, it was visuals over characters...but dammit, it was also awesome. So much so that my wife, who hadn't even read the comics, LOVED this movie. And last time I checked, she was a chick. So it did something right. (Maybe it was just the large naked blue guy?!) I'm curious to see what Zack Synder does next and I'm pretty sure Jackie Earle Haley is a fucking star now. It wasn't the best movie of the year, but it was definitely one of the most interesting and visually stunning films of the year.

9. AVATAR

Speaking of impressive visuals, James Cameron never lets you down. His stories are pretty "ho-hum" and tacky, but they get you through with awesome flying creatures and big gunned robots. And, if nothing else, it gets the "Travis Award" for being one of the only IMAX 3D films that didn't get me light-headed or give me a weird headache. James knew what he was doing and lit the scenes with enough light that they literally pop off the screen. It goes without saying, but you should see this in theaters...cause even on Blu Ray, it's not going to be the same experience.

8. STAR TREK

Seriously. Fucking Star Trek?! I know, believe me, I know. I've NEVER been into Star Trek. My friend Jon used to watch The Next Generation with his parents and I'd sit there, rolling my eyes, wondering when we could go do something, ANYTHING else. Molly was into the TV shows as well, and since this had J.J. Abrams involved, I decided to give it a shot. Holy shit, it was really good. Exactly what a Summer Blockbuster should be. Lots of action, awesome and fun characters, and just overall a thrill ride. Nothing Earth-shattering, but dammit...a good movie. Period. Look past the fact that it's titled "Star Trek" and you'll be surprised.

7. DISTRICT 9

Another one I had ZERO interest in seeing. I saw the trailers. Thought the "shrimp" aliens looked cheap and lame. Heard about the $30 Million budget and wondered why this wasn't going "direct-to-DVD?!" Then started seeing the good reviews and heard nice word of mouth and gave it a Saturday night. Not at all what I was expecting. Shot as if it were a documentary, treated as if aliens had actually landed here, not as in "take us to your leader" or "prepare to die!" Instead, they were refugees. Put up in slums, treated as a disease none of us wanted to deal with. They've been here for decades, and aren't even the main focus of the story. The alien angle was more of an excuse to challenge how we treat one another. Probably a better movie about apartheid than Invictus. And the last 20 minutes were better than ALL of the shitpile that was Transformers 2.

6. AWAY WE GO

Missed this one in theaters, but on a whim we rented it and watched it at home. Kickass, quirky love story. Hipster, independent 30-year-olds find out they're going to have a baby and want different advice on what the best way to raise the kid would be...So they decide to take a road trip and visit family and friends. A really funny, really simple, and sweet movie.

5. THE ROAD

Why the fuck did I see this one? I knew the ending. I read the book. I have a kid now and lost my Father recently. But I went. And cried. And feared the scenes I knew were coming, dealt with the dread and sorrow that weighed on my shoulders. But damn, John Hillcoat is an impressive director. And the kid, the fucking kid nailed the scenes at the end. It was moving, it was gut-wrenching, but it's exactly the kind of movie you need to see once and then never again. It hangs with you for weeks after you leave the theater.

4. UP

Onto happier movies...sort of. I didn't realize how many people felt this movie was a downer until my Step-Mom saw it recently. She cried the whole time. At the beginning, at the end. I didn't get that sad while watching it, but will admit that it was able to jerk a few tears out of my eyes. It also goes on record for having one of the best 4 minutes segments in the history of cinema. Don't believe me?

3. FANTASTIC MR. FOX

I usually enjoy Wes Anderson films, but his last two films, The Life Aquatic and The Darjeeling Limited, were sort of "meh." This one, however he did it, was ingenious. I think the think that perfected this film, (besides all the lil' details hidden throughout the scenes) was his way of capturing the voices. Instead of keeping each actor in a soundproof box, reading their lines all alone, he took them out into a farmhouse, with microphones, and let them play out entire scenes. It's the most natural ensemble animated movies ever. They cut each other off, take pauses, never missing a beat. You almost forget you're watching stop-motion animation after awhile. But more than anything, it oozes "Wes Anderson movie." Even with miniature puppets, he was able to give this world his unique touch. All three of us, Molly, Lex and I, all had smiles on our faces throughout the entire film. Hell, I'm ranking it above a PIXAR film, how much more good can you strive for in animated features?!

2. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Quentin Tarantino has never let me down. I liked Jackie Brown. I liked his 1/4th part of Four Rooms. I'll defend that Death Proof was far more ambitious than the B-Movie "cheese" it was supposed to be. But still, I had no idea how entertaining a movie about killing Nazis would be. This film was probably the funniest movie of the year. It also holds the title of "Most Intense." It takes it's fucking time, lets entire scenes play out for over 20 minutes, and you simply cannot take your eyes off Christoph Waltz's "Jew Hunter." Tarantino needs to win Best Screenplay for this character alone. Christoph deserves Best Supporting Actor without anyone else even needing to show up. If I wasn't such a hopeless romantic, and didn't like the movie below better, this would have been my #1 movie of the year.

1. UP IN THE AIR

But alas, I'm a sucker for love stories. Oh, AND I have a man-crush on George Clooney. The man is legendary. He's from the old-school Hollywood leading man period. Classic. Charming. And he just puts himself into each role naturally. Him and Vera Farmiga share a chemistry that is sexy, intense, and the kind all of us hope for. But Clooney's character, (pretty much the closest thing to playing himself) isn't interested in long-lasting relationships, and cherishes living in hotel rooms and traveling 320 days out of the year. Still, you root for them, for him to slowly fall for Farmiga's charms (how could he NOT?!) which makes the way director Jason Reitman decides to end it (it's unconventional, like everything he does) all the more reason to sigh. But dammit, you'll enjoy the ride and all the emotions associated with it. And you have to give it up to Reitman for making a film that is directly on the pulse of what is currently going on all around us. To make a romantic drama-comedy about a guy who has to travel the country firing people, and not allow it weigh down the entire film...it's remarkable. The fact that he used real people, who were recently laid off, in the scenes where people are being fired was a nice touch. Overall, filmmaking doesn't get any better than this.

BEST ALBUMS OF 2009

2009-12-08T15:42:00.003-06:00

10. DARK WAS THE NIGHT / WAR CHILD PRESENTS: HEROES (tie)

Yes, I'm cheating again. Technically, I'm not sure that you're supposed to include compilations on your "Albums of the Year" lists, but whatever. Both of these collections were stellar. Dark Was The Night included unreleased cuts from Spoon, Beirut, The National and just had a darker tone overall. War Child: Heroes was a nifty idea where legendary artists, (Bruce Springsteen, U2, David Bowie) asked new, rising, (The Hold Steady, Elbow, TV On The Radio) artists to cover their songs.

Both albums were much better than they should have been. A rare treat.

9. PHOENIX * WOLFGANG AMADEUS PHOENIX

They made a great first impression on SNL, a great album, but ultimately, it just faded away once the months piled on. Kind of like Vampire Weekend, the buzz and radio play might have harmed them. Still, I'll be interested in seeing where these guys go next!

8. DAVID GRAY * DRAW THE LINE

This is when the eye-rolling begins. I like David Gray. I don't give a fuck that you don't, or that when you think of his music, John Mayer also comes to mind. David Gray is fucking good, he writes impressive, emotionally powerful music. And while this album wasn't the powerhouse that Life In Slow Motion was, it was still a nice record. One I listened to a lot in my car at the end of a long day.

7. WHITE RABBITS * IT'S FRIGHTENING

These guys are incredible and I hope they get more buzz with their next album. I've searched some "Best of 2009" lists already, and they ain't on any of them...which is a damn shame. I saw them open for Spoon two years ago and they blew me away. Intense, raw, catchy. Even got Britt Daniel to produce this album for them. They're going places, so watch out.

6. JAY Z * THE BLUEPRINT III

I actually have my brother to thank for this one. He's always telling me how good Jay Z is and besides a "99 Problems" here or his collaborations with The Roots there, I've never picked up one of his albums before. While he tells me this isn't near the "classic" status as the first Blueprint, it's still easily one of the best albums of the year. A few songs are skipable, but the combo of the first five songs are as perfect as anything else released this year. Whoever says "albums are dead" needs to remind Jay Z. Cause he ain't interested in merely releasing singles and stuffing the rest with filler.

5. KAREN O & THE KIDS * WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

Soundtracks are usually worse than compilations when it comes to being spotty and "5 shit songs for every 1 decent one." But god damn, this soundtrack is something special. Way more ambitious than it needed to be. You can't but wonder if Karen's past relationship with Spike Jonze came into play. They shared a vision of this not being some lame "kids" movie. The music had to be as interesting and challenging as the film itself. And it came out way more awesome than it needed to be.

4. PEARL JAM * BACKSPACER

Well, hello boys! Long time no see. Your last album, self titled, was nice and nifty, but lacked that certain "edge" your early work had. Looks like you found it again with this release. Songs like "Got Some" and "Supersonic" packed a punch unlike anything you've released in years. You found the passion again, you sound like a brand new garage band, out to rock the world with a sense of purpose and drive that no one can damper. This was my "surprise of the year." I wasn't expecting it to be this damn good, and I'm glad they proved me wrong.

3. HOCKEY * MIND CHAOS

These guys were making all sorts of hype and word-of-mouth on the festival circuit earlier in the year, and who knew if their debut would live up to all the hoopla? Good thing they seemed unfazed by the attention and set out to just focus on the music. Out of nowhere they became one of my favorite bands and I can't wait to see where they go from here on out!

2. BOB DYLAN * TOGETHER THROUGH LIFE

When he's not getting arrested for wandering the streets of New Jersey, or releasing a collection of Christmas tunes for a feed-the-homeless charity, he's still producing some of the best work of his entire career. Much like Clint Eastwood, he seems to just keep making interesting, important work by never letting up. He's been on his "Never Ending Tour" since around 1988. Together Through Life hearkens back to my personal favorite, "Time Out of Mind" in that he's reflective of the world around him, while still longing for true love and deep attractions. It would have been my favorite album of the year if it wasn't for...

1. ELVIS COSTELLO * SECRET, PROFANE & SUGARCANE

I've only gotten into Elvis Costello fairly recently, but I always assumed he was rock n' roll. Imagine my surprise when I read that one of his very first gigs was singing a duet with country music legend, (and my Dad's all time favorite artist) George Jones! This album takes Elvis back to his honky-tonk roots and he brings along legendary producer T-Bone Burnett just to make sure it leaves the rest of the music industry in the dust. They recorded the entire thing in three days and songs like "I Felt The Chill Before The Winter Came" and "Sulphur to Sugarcane" just drip good ol' country. Toby Keith and Taylor Swift could learn a thing or two...

BEST GAMES OF 2009

2009-12-07T15:32:00.003-06:00

Yes, it's that time of year again...the BEST OF lists begin!!!

10. MODERN WARFARE 2 / KILLZONE 2 (tie)

Video Games | Modern Warfare 2 | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Video Games | Killzone 2 | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Yes, I'm already cheating, but both of these games are FPS, (First Person Shooters) both are a lot of fun to play with engaging stories. But sadly, they are short, quick adventures and get a lot of their added gameplay online. Where, an old fuck like me doesn't dwell much. (You can only get your ass handed to you so many times by a 12-year-old boy before you just realize you ain't THAT good.)

9. SPIDER: THE SECRET OF BRYCE MANOR

Video Games | Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor | Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Probably the best game I've played yet on the iPhone! So easy to control, so much fun to create webs and capture bugs. Only reason it's so far down the list is because it was over WAY TOO SOON. It was this studio's first game and basically, a test-run to see if you could create something unique for the iPods. I imagine the next one will be much longer (and more expensive than the STEAL of $2.99!!)

8. FAT PRINCESS

Video Games | Fat Princess | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

I had a lot of fun with this title...before the wave of other games came out and distracted me from leveling up and feeding princesses cake. A multiplayer feast with 32 people battling it out in "capture the flag" type match. Plus, the quirky art style gets bonus points!

7. KATAMARI FOREVER

Video Games | Katamari Forever | Launch Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

I'm a sucker for the Katamari. I had both games for the PS2, one for PSP and came close to buying an Xbox (total lie) to get my hands on Beautiful Katamari. Good thing I didn't, cause this collection takes all the best levels from those games and puts them on one disc with amazing 1080i visuals! I played this nonstop for three weeks and STILL didn't find everything out there, which means I might have to go back and finish it one of these days...

6. BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM

Video Games | Batman: Arkham Asylum | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

A GOOD video game based on a comic book?! Scratch that...a GOOD BATMAN GAME?! Folks, this has never, ever happened. Written by Paul Dini, this game takes place in one long evening...as the Joker traps Batman in Arkham Asylum and all hell breaks loose. A great fucking game, but once you beat it, there's little reason to go back and play it again.

5. PEGGLE

Video Games | | Still Gaming: Peggle Review XBLA

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Another one for the iPhone. (Although it just came out for the PS3 as well) Best described as pure video game crack. This simple lil' game isn't anything special, but you CANNOT QUIT PLAYING IT. Ever. You will try one level, then another, then another, and once you get past the unicorn and onto the King Tut cat, you just have to admit you have a problem. It's like Plinko mixed with pure awesomeness. There's no other way to describe it. Just play it and deal with withdrawl when you're forced to go to work.

4. THE BEATLES: ROCK BAND

Video Games | The Beatles: Rock Band | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

It would have been easy for Harmonix to just slap The Beatles's name on their Rock Band game, added some lame character models and a few of their songs and called it a day. But noooooooooo, they had to treat this project with the utmost care and respect. What they ended up creating is less "game" and more "interactive documentary." It's a thing of rare beauty, and yet, something that your 5 year old, and parents in their 50's can enjoy right alongside you. Watch the video review up above and feel sorry for yourself that you right off video games as "teenage junk."

3. FLOWER

Video Games | Flower | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Easily the most beautiful game on the list. Easy as hell to play too. You just control the pedal with the controller, shifting it left or right, back or forward...no buttons or combos or score or anything! The worlds start out dead and colorless, and as you float along using the wind to pollinate the ground, more and more life grows and illuminates the world. Once we finally got an HD TV this year, this game took on a life of its own. One of the first things to "burst" off the screen and implant itself into my brain.

2. RESIDENT EVIL 5

Video Games | Resident Evil 5 | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Not only is it fun killing zombies, but doing it online, with your boyfriend is even better! Much to Molly's amusement, Kevin and I spent many a nights in separate houses, killing zombies and swearing at one another. (We're on a team, and more times than I'm willing to discuss, I was responsible for killing us both.) Tons of levels, lots of replay value, and the fact that you can play the entire campaign online with a buddy, it was one of the best games of the entire year...

1. UNCHARTED 2: AMONG THIEVES

Video Games | Uncharted 2: Among Thieves | Review

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

...But not THE best. This is THE best. Uncharted 2 was nonstop, action, adventure, mind-blowing set pieces, incredible high speed chases, fun while tough boss battles...the whole fucking package. You couldn't spend $60 better this year. It put the best Hollywood action movies to shame. Made you realize the power of how intelligent writing, powerful voice acting, and production values can make the perception of mere "video games" shatter into a million pieces.

PRISONERS <3 HUCKABEE

2009-12-01T16:18:00.003-06:00

I smelled something sour as soon as reports started coming in that four police officers were shot and killed inside a coffee shop outside Seattle. No one else was injured. No attempt at any sort of robbery. Some nutjob simply walked into a coffee shop, brutally murdered four police officers, and left.

Then, once they announced the name of the suspect they were pursuing, and Mike Huckabee's name was attached as being the one who let him out of jail the first time, it smelled even worse.

Turns out that Maurice Clemmons wasn't the first inmate Huckabee granted clemency to. Nor was he the last.

In 10 1/2 years, Governor Mike Huckabee granted 1,033 pardons and commutations.

It was so out of hand, FOX NEWS actually did a news story about it back in December of 2007!

"During his years as governor, Huckabee granted clemency an average of about once every four days. Huckabee's successor, Mike Beebe, has issued 40 so far this year, fewer than one a week. Bill Clinton, Frank White and Tucker granted 507 clemencies in the 17 1/2 years they served as governor."

See, this isn't the first time Huckabee has been associated with letting someone get out of prison, only to have that person commit an even worse crime. Wayne Dumond was sent to prison for raping a distant cousin of President Bill Clinton. Seriously. He supposedly "found God" while in prison and ended up raping and murdering a girl in Missouri. While Huckabee to this day says it wasn't HIS FAULT Dumond was released, parole board members said they felt pressured.

Joe Conason over at Salon.com has an incredible article linking all of Huckabee's mistakes and pardons and commutations together...and it all comes down to if they'd become "Born Again" or not.

In fact, there's even a case where Huckabee moved up an execution, (instead of just reducing it to a life sentence like both Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama had wanted) and that criminal converted while in prison as well...to Buddhism.

Oops, wrong God, dumbass.

KEITH OLBERMANN ON OBAMA'S AFGHANISTAN DECISION.

2009-11-30T22:03:00.002-06:00

Mark me down as not liking Obama's decision to escalate our troop presence in Afghanistan one bit.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

GLENN BECK AIN'T GETTING ANY UN-CRAZIER

2009-11-20T00:02:00.002-06:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And I know that everyone who has a Playboy subscription says they "read it for the articles," but I actually do and this one by Thomas Frank completely tears Beck's tactics to pieces.

Here's a small sample:

The funny thing is, Beck’s political views and even his vision of the founding generation are actually repudiated by the very founder Beck loves most. I refer to Thomas Paine, the Revolutionary War pamphleteer upon whom Beck and so many other wingers these days are weirdly fixated. Beck named one of his 2009 books after Paine’s famous 1776 pamphlet, Common Sense—not because of any specific insight, it seems, but because he likes to imagine we are living today under an “out-of-control government” every bit as offensive to “common sense” as that of George III. During his Common Sense Comedy Tour last summer Beck reportedly took to the stage dressed as Paine.

But Paine gave the world more than those two words. And when we open Paine’s even more famous work, The Rights of Man, a defense of the French Revolution, we find that it begins with a denunciation of the very idea of one generation binding future generations. “You must heed the call of generations past,” Beck pontificates in his homage to Paine. “The vanity and presumption of governing beyond the grave is the most ridiculous and insolent of all tyrannies,” Paine slapped back in 1791. “Man has no property in man; neither has any generation a property in the generations which are to follow.”

Should we read The Rights of Man all the way to the end, we find Paine calling on the English government to furnish the public with old-age pensions, subsidies to the poor, payments to mothers on the birth of children (welfare!) and guaranteed employment for everyone in the large cities. Should we carry our interest in Paine so far as to read his 1797 pamphlet, Agrarian Justice, we will find—I hope you are sitting down for this, Beck—that Paine proposed a national pension system based on a property tax! Now, hating Social Security is such a no-brainer on the right—the host himself has called it a Ponzi scheme—that perhaps Beck’s followers can be excused for assuming that old Tom Paine was right there with them down to the last shake of their Ayn Rand placard. Still, they might have bothered to consult the Social Security website, where they will find Paine’s pamphlet reproduced as one of the “key early documents” in the struggle for old-age security.

And there is something more than a little peculiar about a devoted Mormon like Beck being a Paine fan. Until a short while ago Paine was mainly remembered as the man who despised organized religion. Debunking religion’s historical claims was, in fact, the subject of Paine’s most famous work, The Age of Reason (1794), in which the pamphleteer trashes the Bible book by book, describing the story of Jonah, the virgin birth and the crucifixion all as bad jokes on a gullible mankind. In a famous passage this scoffing founder wrote, “Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is none more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason and more contradictory in itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists and fanatics.”

UP IN THE AIR

2009-11-18T16:26:00.001-06:00

I'm tired of having to wait...I wanna see this movie NOW!!!

GRRRRR...THAT LIBERAL MEDIA AND IT'S ELITE "FACTS"

2009-11-14T15:06:00.002-06:00

The AP has a lenghty look at her ~~coloring book~~ autobiography and fact checks the shit out of it.

RISE OF THE REPUBLICANS!!!

2009-11-03T16:34:00.002-06:00

No, it's not a new horror movie coming to theaters, it's Drudge's latest headline today, on the heels of special elections around the country...

Now, true...as of me writing (typing) this, the outcomes aren't known yet. But if the polling holds up, and chances are it will, Republicans will win most of the elections tonight.

Virgina would be getting a brand new Republican governor, which would be a nice win for them. But Virginia is the only state in the Union which doesn't allow it's governors to serve consecutive terms. So every four years it's a toss-up, and this year goes Republican after currently having a Democrat in office.

New Jersey could be getting a Republican governor as well...which happened back in 2002 as well, so it's not like it never, ever happens.

But the one that is getting all the attention is New York's 23rd District. You had a Democrat and Republican going at it, when out of nowhere a third party candidate named Doug Hoffman entered the race. Suddenly, what was assumed a Republican victory became a 3-way tie. In fact, mere days ago, it appeared that the Democrat might actually win the race! (This district has constantly gone Republican since the late 1800's!)

And suddenly, you had two wings of the Republican party supporting two different Conservative candidates. The Republican, Dede Scozzafava, garnered support from the NRA, Newt Gingrich, and (for a while) Head of the GOP, Michael Steele.

Meanwhile, the wackier, tea-baggier side of the party, including Sarah Palin, Fred Thompson, and Glenn Beck all threw their weight behind Hoffman. In fact, Hoffman even called Glenn Beck a "mentor" on his radio show!

Over the weekend, The Republican candidate pulled out of the race, and as an extra "fuck you" to the GOP, endorsed the Democratic candidate!

Who knows what will happen as a fallout of all of this, but let the Republicans pat themselves on their backs! They were able to hold onto a tiny district in New York that has gone Republican all the way back before the turn of the century!

Bravo boys!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Indecision 2009 - Vote or Keep Going About Your Day

www.thedailyshow.com

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WHAT WE'RE UP AGAINST...

2009-10-27T13:37:00.003-05:00

Scalia On Brown v. Board Of Education: I Would Have Dissented

There are major differences between Conservatives and Liberals. One group wants to advance the cause of equality and civil rights for all...the other would have kept our schools segregated.

I know Justice Thomas is also Conservative, but you know deep down inside him, he wants to punch Scalia in the gut.

In other, happier, progressiver news...it appears Don't Ask Don't Tell will be coming to an end soon.

MY COMIC ON THE "FRANKEN BILL" NONSENSE

2009-10-27T10:45:00.002-05:00

Ran last week in The Pitch.

Remember to check out Comic Stripjoint for more of my comics.

MUSIC THAT I WANT NOW...

2009-10-27T10:03:00.003-05:00

...but have to wait. "The waiting game sucks, let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos instead!!!"

NIRVANA * LIVE AT READING

Their legendary 1992 performance at the UK's Reading Festival is finally getting an official release.

JULIAN CASABLANCAS * PHRAZES FOR THE YOUNG

Debut solo album from The Strokes frontman.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX SOUNDTRACK
Wes Anderson soundtracks always kick ass.

JAMIE CULLUM * THE PURSUIT

It seems like forever since the last Jamie Cullum album came out.

TOM WAITS * GLITTER AND DOOM (LIVE)

Couldn't find a bigger photo of this one, but make no mistake...Tom Waits live in concert demands your attention.

WATCH AL FRANKEN TEAR THE LAWYER FOR KBR A NEW ONE

2009-10-17T01:30:00.002-05:00

An added bonus from the horrific story of the woman who was gang-raped in Iraq. Seeing Senator Al Franken take the lawyer for KBR apart in front of her and America is quite beautiful.

GRAB A MOP.

2009-10-16T16:12:00.002-05:00

Obama is fucking brilliant.

What I reject is when some folks say we should go back to the past policies when it was those very same policies that got us into this mess in the first place. (Applause.)

Another way of putting it is when, you know, I'm busy and Nancy busy with our mop cleaning up somebody else's mess --- we don't want somebody sitting back saying, you're not holding the mop the right way. (Applause.) Why don't you grab a mop, why don't you help clean up. (Applause.) You're not mopping fast enough. (Laughter.) That's a socialist mop. (Laughter and applause.) Grab a mop -- let's get to work.

But seriously. Beware of the socialist mops.

THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE

2009-10-15T09:49:00.002-05:00

Al Franken, who is kicking major ass as a US Senator, introduced his first major bill. He wanted to make it illegal to have companies write in a "You can't sue us if you get gang-raped on the job" clause into their contracts.

Crazy? Something that no company would ever think of doing?!

Sorry, it already occurred...

It happened in 2005, that 20/20 report is from 2007.

Recently, it took THREE YEARS fighting the courts, she won the right to sue KBR. But seriously, should anyone ever have to go through with this again?! Last night The Daily Show brought some light to the manner, including the 30 Republicans who voted against it.

Yes, 30 Republicans don't think it's a good idea to meddle in the business of "Ehhhhh, you did sign a contract saying we could rape you."

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Rape-Nuts

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Ron Paul Interview

Included in those 30 Republican "NO" votes?

Kansas Senators, Sam Brownback and Pat Roberts and Missouri Senator, Kit Bond.

Unfuckingbelievable.

HERE'S SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE TO YOU OBAMA-IS-A-NAZI DUMBASSES...

2009-10-13T10:39:00.003-05:00

The Swastika goes the other direction.

Sigh.

OBAMA: I WILL END "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL."

2009-10-11T13:02:00.003-05:00

Good for him.

It's nice to have a President who speaks to us as grown-ups. And doesn't let disagreements within his own party derail him from what he wants to do. The man makes no excuses, he owns up to what he does and acknowledges that he's still got a long way to go.

Good thing he has another 3 years to get even more progressive.

(I bet that just makes the Conservative's heads explode)

POOR GLENN BECK...

2009-10-09T10:04:00.000-05:00

It's just too easy to make fun of this assclown.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Bend It Like Beck

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Michael Moore

I LOVE THE FACT THAT I NO LONGER HAVE TO HANG MY HEAD IN SHAME WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I PLAY VIDEO GAMES...

2009-10-06T15:52:00.004-05:00

Bask in the intense awesomeness of this Modern Warfare 2 trailer.

Video Games | Modern Warfare 2 | Infamy Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

And those weren't "cut scenes." That was actual gameplay footage.

We've basically reached the point where we're able to "play" movies, instead of simply watching them.

AIN'T NO RACISM...

2009-09-29T15:47:00.006-05:00

I listen to a lot of talk radio. Okay, not a lot...but at least 20 minutes of Glenn Beck in the mornings, (depending on how late I am) and a good 15-30 minutes of Rush Limbaugh on my lunch break.

This is my daily routine. Craaaaaazy, I know...but part of me thrives on the idea that if someone is talking about politics, even if I 100% disagree with them, I'll listen in. Plus, I feel like this is my peek inside the world of "the other side." You'd be amazed at how quickly you'd become paranoid, angry, and afraid listening to talk radio. It's easy to get caught up in what they're ranting and raving and warning you about...and I almost feel sad for the people that listen to all 3 hours of this programing, every single day, and worse still...take it to heart.

I guarantee you a lot of the people who listen to talk radio do not think it's entertainment. For them, they're getting the truth. The real news that the (cue pounding drums) LIBERAL MEDIA doesn't want you to know.

I watch The Daily Show and Colbert every single night, but not once do I go, "Right on man! You start a revolution, a march on Washington, and I'll be there to take this country back!" They're entertainers. They're comedians. And Glenn Beck backs away from criticism all the time by pointing out, "I'm just a talk show host...an entertainer..." all while declaring that his listeners and viewers be vigil. Keep an eye on ACORN. Put pressure on Van Jones. These Czars are bad news. This President is friends with Marxists. Communists. He, himself is racist who has a deep seeded hatred for the White man!!!

It'd be funny, if it wasn't taken as some sort of gospel.

So anyway, I'm listening the other morning, and it's a fill-in host. I guess Glenn saw his shadow that morning and held up in his Panic Room counting all of his gold coins. (He constantly sucks off Gold Line because as we all know, the dollar is just a mere couple of months away from being completely worthless...and nothing is more valuable in a Mad Max-type wasteland than gold fucking coins that you bought off the internet.)

And this guy who's filling in for Glenn plays this new Republican talking point of, "Gee, I guess ANYONE who criticizes the President is racist now, eh?"

First off, no one, and I mean no one is saying that anyone who criticizes the President is 100% automatically racist. It's a bullshit argument that has gotten more and more popular because it simply wipes away every cry of racism in one quick swoop.

And secondly, are these idiots really trying to act like there isn't a huge upswing in people hating Obama simply because he's black?

The way people are up in arms over the whole ACORN scandal, you'd think they were selling white people's babies on the street corner. All these Senators suddenly want investigations? And to remove their funding? Meanwhile Blackwater, Halliburton, and countless other organizations are just roaming free?!

Right, they weren't caught on camera giving advice to a white girl and her "pimp." Carry on, then...

(and don't get me wrong, I'm not losing any sleep over ACORN being busted and losing these connections. It's just catching the smallest fish ever. And I wish these people who claim to be soooooo interested in "rooting out corruption" would go after some of these companies who are in the business of killing and torturing people.)

But whatever...back to this dumbass talk radio guy's point...

"I guess you can't criticize Obama anymore without being called a racist?!"

No, but specific things can be highlighted to prove that racism still exists in this country, and plenty of those on the Right are using it to their advantage.

Case in point, here's Limbaugh's show-prep, (you can seriously know exactly what Rush is going to talk about on his radio show by peeking at Drudge Report an hour before the show starts) Matt Drudge offering up not one, but two BOLD, ALL-CAPS HEADLINES showing violent black kids.

This one ran a couple weeks ago.

This one (as of writing this) is currently the headline on his website today.

See what he does there? The first example was on a school bus outside of St. Louis. I dunno if you have ever ridden a school bus before, but kids get beaten up all the damn time. I must have witnessed it a handful of times myself growing up.

But see, this was a bus of mostly black kids, beating up on a white boy. This is a NATIONAL story. This needs to go at the top of the page at once! GIANT LETTERS NEED TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY!!!

(Sad truth...Limbaugh discussed the story on the air and Neo-Nazis marched cause he claimed it was a "hate crime.")

The second example was of a after-school beating that took place between rival gangs in Chicago. It's a tragic story. One student was beaten to death and the lack of sympathy shown in the video (police released it, hoping someone could ID the suspects) depresses me more than anything else. How far have we fallen as a society, that a boy lying dead in the street, killed in front of your eyes doesn't make you realize that this is wrong...that this isn't a way to live...

But you know what? That story happened days ago.

Huffington Post had a story on it back on September 27th.

But not Drudge. Not the source of all things Conservative-leaning. No, he waits until today. Days later. A day after it's announced that Obama is going to personally try and get Chicago the Olympics in 2016. Then, he's able to tie it all together.

BLACK THUGS FROM CHICAGO KILL PEOPLE IN THE STREET! HEY, ISN'T OBAMA FROM CHICAGO?! HMMMMMMM...

And if you're thinking, "Gee, Travis...that's kind of a stretch, no?" ask yourself this...

Why wait days later? Why put the story up as the main story in the first place? All day long. Nothing else is going on? Is the story that important?! Outside of Chicago, who does this story truly effect? And really, is Chicago that much more violent than LA or Atlanta or Moscow or Mexico City or plenty of other cities that held the Olympics?

It's just another example of subtle racism and how it's used against this President on a daily basis.

MICHAEL MOORE ON CNN

2009-09-26T14:40:00.002-05:00

Michael Moore gets a lot of flak for being "radical." A Left's version of Glenn Beck, if you will. But as these lengthy clips of him on CNN show, the man really doesn't have radical, extreme ideas at all. And I love how absurd Wolf Blitzer's questions come across in this interview...he literally asks Moore if he's a Socialist.

Sigh.

GLENN BECK REFUSES TO EXPLAIN "WHITE CULTURE."

2009-09-26T11:25:00.002-05:00

Hey Glenn, maybe instead of us asking ourselves "tough, tough questions," you could try and answer simple, simple ones. I mean, all she did was ask you to explain your own words. Your own phrase. That's not a "trap." It's giving you the opportunity to prove that you're not a wacky racist...and you failed.

WHAT RACISM?!

2009-09-21T10:43:00.002-05:00

A lot of Conservatives are pushing back against this sudden idea that perhaps some of the insane, batshit hatred of Obama miiiiight have something to do with the color of his skin.

And I feel for them. Really.

What's the world coming to where you can't simply disagree with the President of the United States by calmly calling him a secret Muslim, or suggest that he was born in Kenya, or that he single-handedly founded ACORN and will be forever connected to any scandal they're ever involved in for the rest of time, or that he's a Socialist, Marxist, Hitler, Stalin, a voodoo witch doctor, wants to kill grandma, pals around with terrorists, and wants to destroy America...without people thinking it's all because he's black?!

So imagine my shock when I woke up this morning and found out that some vandals up at Penguin Park, (the park my mother would take us to on a weekly basis as children...the park Lex adores and I have so many found memories of) spray-painted SWASTIKAS and lots of FUCK OBAMA all over the playground equipment.

Grrrrrr. Why must facts continue to have a liberal bias?

ALL OF YOU TEABAGGERS, PLEASE SIGN AND DATE THIS.

2009-09-18T16:04:00.002-05:00

(taken from Daily Kos)

I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

•Social Security

•Medicare/Medicaid

•State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)

•Police, Fire, and Emergency Services

•US Postal Service

•Roads and Highways

•Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)

•The US Railway System

•Public Subways and Metro Systems

•Public Bus and Lightrail Systems

•Rest Areas on Highways

•Sidewalks

•All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)

•Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

•Public and State Universities and Colleges

•Public Primary and Secondary Schools

•Sesame Street

•Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children

•Public Museums

•Libraries

•Public Parks and Beaches

•State and National Parks

•Public Zoos

•Unemployment Insurance

•Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services

•Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)

•Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

•Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)

•Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking

•Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies

•Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

•Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History

•The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments

•The government-operated Statue of Liberty

•The Grand Canyon

•The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials

•The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery

•All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___.

_____________ _________________________
Signed Printed Name/Town and State

HOW FAR WE'VE GOTTEN OFF TRACK

2009-09-14T16:07:00.002-05:00

Watch this video of this old man who was brave enough to walk through the crowds protesting over the weekend holding a sign above his head that read PUBLIC OPTION NOW!

You'd think, based on his reactions and the fact that he had to have cops escort his every move, that the sign read, "I WANT TO KILL YOUR BABY."

These people are foaming at the mouth angry. This shit is only going to get worse over the next 3 1/2 years. Nothing Obama does or doesn't do will calm them down. They're out of their fucking minds and on the verge of doing something very, very stupid.

God help us all.

PHOTOS FROM TODAY'S 9/12 TEA PARTY IN WASHINGTON

2009-09-12T15:09:00.003-05:00

Keep in mind, these are the followers of Glenn Beck's "9/12 Project." The idea is to "Unite us in the spirit of how we felt on 9/12." Which of course fits in nicely with how Beck constantly refers to Obama as a Marxist, Socialist, and Racist.

So you can imagine the UNITY that was fucking flowing out on the streets of Washington today. Bask in the glory...if you dare...

(images from mar is sea Y's Flickr account)

Oh Hilter mustache...is there anything you can't make adorable?

Having trouble reading what that says? Here, this might help...

I mean, can you feeeeeeeel the unity yet?

My favorite thing about this sign is how the guy blacked-out the s's in "asshole." Cause showing Obama and Hitler being BFF's is classy, but the word asshole makes it obscene!!!

Worst. Acronym. Ever.

These fuckers realize that the economy has been shit for a lot longer than seven months...right?!

I dunno how she did it, but she managed to put EXACTLY what I was thinking on the morning of 9/12 up on her poster. Amazing.

How...do...you even...compromise...with...these kind...of people?!

Folks, these were taken from one single Flickr account. I imagine I'll be posting a lot more about this soon. It's just eye-opening to see these people gather up and think that people are going to take them seriously.

KATAMARI FOREVER

2009-09-11T10:22:00.002-05:00

Holy crap, I can't believe I almost forgot about this game coming out later this month. I was so focused on The Beatles: Rock Band (and for good reason, it's insanely beautiful) that Katamari totally slipped my mind.

Luckily, the PSN put up a demo last night to remind me of how much I adore this wacky, adorable video game.

GOOD THING REPUBLICANS WERE UP IN ARMS ABOUT OBAMA'S SPEECH TO SCHOOL CHILDREN...

2009-09-07T12:28:00.002-05:00

Cause it's a Communist Manifesto if I've ever read one...

Hello everyone - how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I'm glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday - at 4:30 in the morning.

Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year.

Now I've given a lot of speeches about education. And I've talked a lot about responsibility.

I've talked about your teachers' responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

I've talked a lot about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working where students aren't getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world - and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

And that's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.

Maybe you could be a good writer - maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper - but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor - maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine - but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life - I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You're going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.

You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that - if you quit on school - you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.

Now I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.

I get it. I know what that's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn't fit in.

So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.

But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren't right.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life - what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going on at home - that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.

Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.

I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer - hundreds of extra hours - to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he's headed to college this fall.

And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.

Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same.

That's why today, I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education - and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book.

Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you'll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.

I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

That's OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. JK Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you - you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust - a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor - and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you - don't ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.

It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down - don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

THE ROAD: FILM CLIPS

2009-09-04T17:05:00.005-05:00

Who knows how long these will last, but there are 5 film clips from the upcoming adaptation of The Road online right now.

I must say, this is at the top of my list of movies I need to see...even if I know how exhausting and depressing it's going to be.

(this is one of my favorite scenes in the book...but I was surprised the clip went on as long as it did...beware of spoilers if you haven't read the book)

(I've read the book and...I still almost got tears in my eyes watching this scene...just putting you in the frame of mind of "What would you do for the ones you loved most?" For those of you who haven't read the book, the people in the house are cannibals, the skinny bastards in the basement are their "food.")

(one of the few moments in the book where you let your guard down...and feel like things are okay.)

AL FRANKEN TALKING TO HEATH CARE TEA BAGGERS

2009-09-04T14:02:00.002-05:00

I think a lot of people thought that Al Franken was going to become a Senator and be just a comedic dumbass...but as this clip shows, he's willing to talk about specifics and not talk down to people. I'm a pretty big Franken fan, but this clip even impressed me...

OBAMA'S EULOGY FOR EDWARD KENNEDY

2009-08-29T11:41:00.003-05:00

My stupid work changed the channel before he was able to give this, but I teared up simply reading it...so they probably did the right thing.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Remarks of President Barack Obama – As Prepared for Delivery
Eulogy for Edward Kennedy

Boston, MA

Mrs. Kennedy, Kara, Edward, Patrick, Curran, Caroline, members of the Kennedy family, distinguished guests, and fellow citizens:

Today we say goodbye to the youngest child of Rose and Joseph Kennedy. The world will long remember their son Edward as the heir to a weighty legacy; a champion for those who had none; the soul of the Democratic Party; and the lion of the U.S. Senate – a man whose name graces nearly one thousand laws, and who penned more than three hundred himself.

But those of us who loved him, and ache with his passing, know Ted Kennedy by the other titles he held: Father. Brother. Husband. Uncle Teddy, or as he was often known to his younger nieces and nephews, "The Grand Fromage," or "The Big Cheese." I, like so many others in the city where he worked for nearly half a century, knew him as a colleague, a mentor, and above all, a friend.

Ted Kennedy was the baby of the family who became its patriarch; the restless dreamer who became its rock. He was the sunny, joyful child, who bore the brunt of his brothers’ teasing, but learned quickly how to brush it off. When they tossed him off a boat because he didn’t know what a jib was, six-year-old Teddy got back in and learned to sail. When a photographer asked the newly-elected Bobby to step back at a press conference because he was casting a shadow on his younger brother, Teddy quipped, "It’ll be the same in Washington."

This spirit of resilience and good humor would see Ted Kennedy through more pain and tragedy than most of us will ever know. He lost two siblings by the age of sixteen. He saw two more taken violently from the country that loved them. He said goodbye to his beloved sister, Eunice, in the final days of his own life. He narrowly survived a plane crash, watched two children struggle with cancer, buried three nephews, and experienced personal failings and setbacks in the most public way possible.

It is a string of events that would have broken a lesser man. And it would have been easy for Teddy to let himself become bitter and hardened; to surrender to self-pity and regret; to retreat from public life and live out his years in peaceful quiet. No one would have blamed him for that.

But that was not Ted Kennedy. As he told us, "...[I]ndividual faults and frailties are no excuse to give in – and no exemption from the common obligation to give of ourselves." Indeed, Ted was the "Happy Warrior" that the poet William Wordsworth spoke of when he wrote:

As tempted more; more able to endure,

As more exposed to suffering and distress;

Thence, also, more alive to tenderness.

Through his own suffering, Ted Kennedy became more alive to the plight and suffering of others – the sick child who could not see a doctor; the young soldier sent to battle without armor; the citizen denied her rights because of what she looks like or who she loves or where she comes from. The landmark laws that he championed -- the Civil Rights Act, the Americans with Disabilities Act, immigration reform, children’s health care, the Family and Medical Leave Act –all have a running thread. Ted Kennedy’s life’s work was not to champion those with wealth or power or special connections. It was to give a voice to those who were not heard; to add a rung to the ladder of opportunity; to make real the dream of our founding. He was given the gift of time that his brothers were not, and he used that gift to touch as many lives and right as many wrongs as the years would allow.

We can still hear his voice bellowing through the Senate chamber, face reddened, fist pounding the podium, a veritable force of nature, in support of health care or workers’ rights or civil rights. And yet, while his causes became deeply personal, his disagreements never did. While he was seen by his fiercest critics as a partisan lightning rod, that is not the prism through which Ted Kennedy saw the world, nor was it the prism through which his colleagues saw him. He was a product of an age when the joy and nobility of politics prevented differences of party and philosophy from becoming barriers to cooperation and mutual respect – a time when adversaries still saw each other as patriots.

And that’s how Ted Kennedy became the greatest legislator of our time. He did it by hewing to principle, but also by seeking compromise and common cause – not through deal-making and horse-trading alone, but through friendship, and kindness, and humor. There was the time he courted Orrin Hatch’s support for the Children’s Health Insurance Program by having his Chief of Staff serenade the Senator with a song Orrin had written himself; the time he delivered shamrock cookies on a china plate to sweeten up a crusty Republican colleague; and the famous story of how he won the support of a Texas Committee Chairman on an immigration bill. Teddy walked into a meeting with a plain manila envelope, and showed only the Chairman that it was filled with the Texan’s favorite cigars. When the negotiations were going well, he would inch the envelope closer to the Chairman. When they weren’t, he would pull it back. Before long, the deal was done.

It was only a few years ago, on St. Patrick's Day, when Teddy buttonholed me on the floor of the Senate for my support on a certain piece of legislation that was coming up for vote. I gave him my pledge, but expressed my skepticism that it would pass. But when the roll call was over, the bill garnered the votes it needed, and then some. I looked at Teddy with astonishment and asked how he had pulled it off. He just patted me on the back, and said "Luck of the Irish!"

Of course, luck had little to do with Ted Kennedy’s legislative success, and he knew that. A few years ago, his father-in-law told him that he and Daniel Webster just might be the two greatest senators of all time. Without missing a beat, Teddy replied, "What did Webster do?"

But though it is Ted Kennedy’s historic body of achievements we will remember, it is his giving heart that we will miss. It was the friend and colleague who was always the first to pick up the phone and say, "I’m sorry for your loss," or "I hope you feel better," or "What can I do to help?" It was the boss who was so adored by his staff that over five hundred spanning five decades showed up for his 75th birthday party. It was the man who sent birthday wishes and thank you notes and even his own paintings to so many who never imagined that a U.S. Senator would take the time to think about someone like them. I have one of those paintings in my private study – a Cape Cod seascape that was a gift to a freshman legislator who happened to admire it when Ted Kennedy welcomed him into his office the first week he arrived in Washington; by the way, that’s my second favorite gift from Teddy and Vicki after our dog Bo. And it seems like everyone has one of those stories – the ones that often start with "You wouldn’t believe who called me today."

Ted Kennedy was the father who looked after not only his own three children, but John’s and Bobby’s as well. He took them camping and taught them to sail. He laughed and danced with them at birthdays and weddings; cried and mourned with them through hardship and tragedy; and passed on that same sense of service and selflessness that his parents had instilled in him. Shortly after Ted walked Caroline down the aisle and gave her away at the altar, he received a note from Jackie that read, "On you the carefree youngest brother fell a burden a hero would have begged to be spared. We are all going to make it because you were always there with your love."

Not only did the Kennedy family make it because of Ted’s love – he made it because of theirs; and especially because of the love and the life he found in Vicki. After so much loss and so much sorrow, it could not have been easy for Ted Kennedy to risk his heart again. That he did is a testament to how deeply he loved this remarkable woman from Louisiana. And she didn’t just love him back. As Ted would often acknowledge, Vicki saved him. She gave him strength and purpose; joy and friendship; and stood by him always, especially in those last, hardest days.

We cannot know for certain how long we have here. We cannot foresee the trials or misfortunes that will test us along the way. We cannot know God’s plan for us.

What we can do is to live out our lives as best we can with purpose, and love, and joy. We can use each day to show those who are closest to us how much we care about them, and treat others with the kindness and respect that we wish for ourselves. We can learn from our mistakes and grow from our failures. And we can strive at all costs to make a better world, so that someday, if we are blessed with the chance to look back on our time here, we can know that we spent it well; that we made a difference; that our fleeting presence had a lasting impact on the lives of other human beings.

This is how Ted Kennedy lived. This is his legacy. He once said of his brother Bobby that he need not be idealized or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life, and I imagine he would say the same about himself. The greatest expectations were placed upon Ted Kennedy’s shoulders because of who he was, but he surpassed them all because of who he became. We do not weep for him today because of the prestige attached to his name or his office. We weep because we loved this kind and tender hero who persevered through pain and tragedy – not for the sake of ambition or vanity; not for wealth or power; but only for the people and the country he loved.

In the days after September 11th, Teddy made it a point to personally call each one of the 177 families of this state who lost a loved one in the attack. But he didn’t stop there. He kept calling and checking up on them. He fought through red tape to get them assistance and grief counseling. He invited them sailing, played with their children, and would write each family a letter whenever the anniversary of that terrible day came along. To one widow, he wrote the following:

"As you know so well, the passage of time never really heals the tragic memory of such a great loss, but we carry on, because we have to, because our loved one would want us to, and because there is still light to guide us in the world from the love they gave us."

We carry on.

Ted Kennedy has gone home now, guided by his faith and by the light of those he has loved and lost. At last he is with them once more, leaving those of us who grieve his passing with the memories he gave, the good he did, the dream he kept alive, and a single, enduring image – the image of a man on a boat; white mane tousled; smiling broadly as he sails into the wind, ready for what storms may come, carrying on toward some new and wondrous place just beyond the horizon. May God Bless Ted Kennedy, and may he rest in eternal peace.

9.9.09

2009-08-29T11:29:00.002-05:00

Can't I just sleep the next week away?

WHY CAN'T WE GET HEALTH CARE PASSED IN THIS COUNTRY?!

2009-08-28T17:20:00.001-05:00

...I can't seem to remember...

"IS OBAMA CREATING A CIVIL WAR IN AMERICA?"

2009-08-21T13:41:00.002-05:00

Oh, Jon Voight. You and your absolutely batshit crazy questions are adorable.

And bravo to you, Sean Hannity! Here I thought you hated those "Hollywood elites?!" I guess those who agree with you get to partake in those awesome Freedom Concerts! (who knew Lee Greenwood was still alive? AND Charlie Daniels?! Holy shit!)

MORE TOWN HALL MADNESS

2009-08-19T16:31:00.002-05:00

Barney Frank stands up to the loons and actually "reads the bill" to those who supposedly "read the bill" and yet know nothing about it.

And words cannot describe how angry this video makes me. A Jewish man is talking to a local news crew about the health care system in Israel, after a town hall rally finished up there. When out of nowhere a woman shouts out "HEIL HITLER!" I swear to God:

Other things that get my blood boiling in that video. #1: The two male douchebags who rush over with their arms crossed PROTECTING the fucking bitch who just told this Jew to "Heil Hitler" and #2: The woman's reaction to the man's story about how he got a bill for $2,000. She literally puts her hands up to her eyes and goes, "Waaaaaaaaah..."

Fuck it. No more "negotiating" with these people. It's pointless. I say use reconciliation and forgo needing a single Republican's vote. It's painfully obvious that they don't want to reach any sort of agreement that isn't "NO!" Let them take their ball and go on home...we got shit to deal with and these racist, childish games aren't helping anyone. (or their cause...a recent poll found that only 21% "Approve" of the GOP's handling of the health care, versus 62% who disapprove!)

THINGS I NEED NOW...

2009-08-18T18:14:00.002-05:00

...but have to wait, cause I don't have my time machine built...yet.

UNCHARTED 2 (PS3)

Doesn't come out until October 13th.

THE BEATLES: ROCK BAND (PS3)

Doesn't come out until September 9th.

DAVID CROSS * I DRINK FOR A REASON (book)
Doesn't come out until August 31st. But get a peek here!

PATTON OSWALT * MY WEAKNESS IS STRONG (CD & DVD)

Doesn't come out until August 25th.

WILLIE NELSON * AMERICAN CLASSIC (CD)

Doesn't come out until August 25th.

I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH WAR NOW

2009-08-14T14:49:00.002-05:00

Read this and try not to cry. A 40 year old soldier died in Afghanistan yesterday. He fought in Ramadi and Fallujah from August 2004 to March 2005, and went back to Fallujah from September 2006 to April 2007.

Then he came back and ran for Pennsylvania's 5th Congressional District in 2008. But lost the Democratic primary.

He just recently was deployed to Afghanistan.

His wife is expecting twins.

And I don't feel a damn bit "safer" knowing we're continuing to fight a war in a country that brought both Alexander the Great AND the Soviet Union to their knees.

Enough of this bloodshed. Enough of fighting endless wars with no winnable solution.

Enough families who have to deal with the fact that their husband, father, son (or wife, mother, daughter) is taken from them. All in the name of "freedom."

I'm fucking free enough without needing anyone else to have to suffer.

"DEATH TO OBAMA"

2009-08-13T15:28:00.002-05:00

Wow. This guy got himself a visit from the Secret Service. His sign also read, "Death to Michelle and her two stupid kids."

It's getting to the point where these people are going to start getting dangerous. (some already are) And when that happens, do you want to be able to say, "I stood up to these goons and called them out for being wrong" or do you want to keep on saying, "The First Black President is going to destroy this country and make us all Marxists?!"

It's your choice. But know that right now, right here at this very moment, it's not too late to realize which side is trying to have a debate about serious topics and which side is obviously just pissed off that Obama is President. Period. Nothing he could ever do would be enough for these people. They're not interested in working on solutions...they're too busy "wanting our country back!"

And do you blame them? You've spent the past couple of years making him into the mother fucking boogey man. Now you get to sit back and reap what you sow. Hope you're proud of yourself.

Meanwhile the rest of us suffer the consequences.

KEEP IT CLASSY, HEALTH CARE PROTESTERS!

2009-08-11T15:56:00.002-05:00

I mean, at what point does the Republican Party want to distance themselves from this "mob" mentality, rather than embrace it? Are they waiting for nooses in trees? Crosses on fire, perhaps?!

WASHINGTON – A swastika was found Tuesday painted on a sign outside Rep. David Scott's district office, an act the Georgia Democrat said reflects an increasingly hateful and racist debate over health care and should serve as a reminder for people to tone down their rhetoric.

Scott's staff arrived at his Smyrna, Ga., office Tuesday morning to find the Nazi graffiti emblazoned on a sign bearing the lawmaker's name. The vandalism occurred roughly a week after Scott was involved in a contentious argument over health care at a community meeting.

Scott, who is black, said he also has received mail in recent days that used N-word references to him, and that characterized President Barack Obama as a Marxist.

"We have got to make sure that the symbol of the swastika does not win, that the racial hatred that's bubbling up does not win this debate," Scott said in a telephone interview. "There's so much hatred out there for President (Barack) Obama."

SPECIAL COMMENT ON THE TACTICS OF FEAR WHEN DEALING WITH HEALTH CARE IN THIS COUNTRY

2009-08-11T13:31:00.002-05:00

Because Heaven forbid we actually try and discuss the complexities of such a topic. Nah, let's get people freaked out by mentioning "Death Panels!!!"

CONGRATULATIONS, CONSERVATIVES!!!

2009-08-05T09:40:00.002-05:00

Yet ANOTHER wacko, paranoid, racist gunman walked into a building and killed numerous people yesterday.

Oh, and posted his entire thought process online, for all of us to get a better sense of his state of mind.

Now, I know what you're saying, "But Travis, it's just a mere coincidence that every fucking time some nutjob grabs loaded weapons and starts killing innocent people, they spew shit about the "Liberal Media" or "Negros." But you're wrong.

And if you think that this will be the last one, the last time your side will have to answer for bloodshed, think again. These insane mother fuckers are growing in numbers. All your ranting and raving that "Socialism" and "Needing to take our country back" have consequences.

Just look at the number of threats the President gets daily. (It's up 400% from George W. Bush!)

How much more needless killing will have to occur before you realize that we're ALL Americans, and feeding the fringe elements of your party, by making Obama out to be Karl Marx, or trying to claim that he wasn't even born in the United States, creates a hostility...an anger...that can only be solved by the barrel of a gun?!

15 YEARS

2009-08-04T10:08:00.002-05:00

Today marks 15 years since my Mother passed away. It also marks the exact moment in time where I've spent the same years of my life without her as I did with her. To say that today is a surreal day would be an understatement.

Although I'm only 30 years old, I feel so much older. Losing my Mother at 15 forced me to grow up pretty quickly. She never saw me drive a car, have a girlfriend, start high school...things that most people take for granted. And now that I have a son, and cherish every silly moment, I know how hard it must have been for her to realize that she wasn't going to be able to share those memories with me.

But part of her lives through me, (of course, how could she not?) and with Lex starting Kindergarten in a couple weeks, I can't wait to begin my series of "First Day of School" photos with him. (I used to love Mom doing these when I was in Grade School...but once Middle School started, I wished she'd knock it off...which of course she wouldn't even think twice about doing!)

I can still remember the night I first found out my Mother had found a tumor in her breast. My brother and I always took baths together, even when I was like 10-11 and he was 7-8. I guess it was just easier on my Mom to have to draw one bath for both of us rather than have to go through the entire process twice on a nightly basis. Besides, even though we fought and wrestled throughout most of our childhoods, hanging out in the bathtub while Mom washed our hair was a time to cherish as a family.

But that night was different. Dad came in alongside Mom. There was a stillness in the air and I remember asking my Mom a couple of times if everything was okay.

Dad eventually told us that they went to the doctor while we were away at school and that Mom had a small tumor in her breast. I heard the word Cancer for the very first time in my life and instantly knew it was something bad.

"Mom, are you going to die?" I specifically remember blurting out...almost callused. But I was terrified. I was always closer to my Mother than my Father. We were both very emotional people who wore our hearts on our sleeve.

Dad responded back, "No, she's not going to die."

And for the next 3 years, she would have a on-again, off-again struggle with chemo and radiation. She would spend plenty of nights throwing up and having dry heaves. She would lose all of her hair, have both breasts surgically removed, be constantly worn out, and yet through it all, never lead on that dying was even an option.

But then, one evening, while looking up a phone number for a old friend of hers on the telephone...she just kept flipping the pages of the phone book, on and on and on...

"Cindy, what number are you trying to find?" my Dad asked her.

She responded, "I don't...know?"

"Well, who are you talking to?" he followed up.

She just sat there, like nothing was making any sense, and she was struggling to understand the situation. "I...don't know?!"

He took her to the hospital that evening, and once they returned, we all learned the sad truth. Her Cancer had spread to her brain.

She died 6 months later.

It was the saddest, loneliest I've ever felt in my entire life. I still get emotional when I think back to how unfair it was. She was constantly fighting, always keeping her spirits high, allowing her faith to overwhelm her into thinking that with God's love, she'd be able to overcome the disease. Live to see her children grow up and have babies of their own. She desperately wanted to be a Nana one day.

But instead, she died at the age of 42.

Enough time has passed to where I'm finally able to accept the fact that at least I was able to share 15 years of my life with her by my side. The last couple years of her life we were as close as we could be. "Wayne's World" had recently come out and we began connecting on all this music she enjoyed when she was a teenager. She'd tell me about going to see Alice Cooper in concert, how he would cut off his head on stage and walk around with it. Picturing your own Mother enjoying such a crazy thing was incredible. Hearing about how she put black lights in her bedroom and stayed up late listening to Jimi Hendrix records pretty much proved that we were basically the same person. She even started to enjoy listening to Pearl Jam with me. I'll never forget how she enjoyed Guns N' Roses because she thought Axl Rose sounded like Janis Joplin! (She had a point.)

So, it's a bittersweet day. One filled with sadness and heartbreak...and one surrounded with love and appreciation. I miss her more than words can truly justify, and I hope that she'd look back at these past 15 years and be proud of the man I've become.

In a lot of ways, I'm still that lil' boy...wearing my heart on my sleeve, wanting to brighten up people's days, and in the end, inspire those around me to take nothing for granted.

Cherish those around you. Take a moment today and tell someone you love them and appreciate their friendship. Trust me, it matters.

THE BEATLES: ROCK BAND

2009-08-03T00:44:00.002-05:00

More than a mere "cash-in" on the greatest rock band of all time, the boys (and gals) behind Rock Band have created a thing of beauty in their upcoming release...

Seriously, the amount of care and attention to detail that went into recreating moments from this band's career cannot be expressed without watching these videos in action.

I love how they each start out as simply recording sessions, and quickly turn into LSD inspired wild rides.

9.9.09 cannot come soon enough.

A COUPLE MORE AWESOME THINGS I'M CURRENTLY ENJOYING

2009-08-02T12:25:00.002-05:00

(Leave me alone, I'm having to work on a Sunday and am booooooored out of my mind!!!)

NOBY NOBY BOY / KATAMARI THEME FOR MY PS3

Every now and then, the PSN offers Themes and Wallpapers that I actually want to display on my PS3 screen. This one beats them all. Keita Takahashi's art style is so damn cute, who cares if he just did these sketches on the side of a paper bag...it brings a smile to your face! (And Lex had fun "finding" all sorts of different objects throughout the art!)

BOB DYLAN'S THEME TIME RADIO HOUR

Not having XM Radio myself, I often rely on reading about the themes and songs discussed on previous shows and trying to track down some of the songs on my own. (And sometimes, buying unauthorized bootlegs of the shows themselves.)

Dylan has an ear for eccentric, interesting music that spans almost the entire 20th century. Broken into hour long themes, (Weather, Love, Crime) these songs each reveal a deeper level than mere music. You get invested in these tunes, enjoying the tales they tell. He constantly manages to find songs and artists that you've gone your whole life without hearing and trust me, your life will be a lil' more fulfilled once you've experienced this journey down Americana history.

AWESOME THINGS I'M CURRENTLY ENJOYING

2009-08-01T12:04:00.003-05:00

I do a lot of bitching on this blog. It's kind of my niche. But I'm not this angry, foaming-at-the-mouth person all day long...really...most of the time, I'm actually happy!

So to balance the flood of constant complaining and ranting that I've done recently, I thought I'd give you a glimpse of some of the things that are making me smile:

FAT PRINCESS

Words cannot describe how fun this game is. I'm not into these types of games at all, (you choose between a Worker, Ranger, Warrior, Priest, Mage) but for whatever reason, this game makes me smile! I think it's the fun, cartoony art style (it looks like a BLOODTASTIC version of Animal Crossing) and the fact that it gives the old game of "capture the flag" a unique twist...in that the "flag" each team has to capture is a princess.

...and in order to make the princess harder for the other team to capture, you feed her cake to weigh her down...

Seriously, it's not going to win any sensitivity awards, but dammit, it's a lot of fun!

Wii SPORTS RESORT

The first Wii game I've bought...all year long?! The damn Wii is more "novelty" than "incredible video game system," but once in a while, we all gather around it and spend a night playing a video game the same as we'd play "Sorry" or "Candy Land."

Wii Sports Resort has been that game lately. Whereas I play Fat Princess when Molly and Lex have fallen asleep, this game is something we all enjoy. Lex likes to "Sword Fight" and "Skydive" and Molly and I could spend an entire evening playing "Archery." The game comes with a new "Motion Control" sensor, that gives the gets the movement ratio closer to true 1 to 1.

On some events, like "Basketball," the slightest flick of your wrist can determine whether you sink the shot or bounce it off the rim. It's scarily accurate, and quite addictive!

READING TO MY SON BEFORE HE GOES TO SLEEP

This one is my all time favorite book from my childhood. I read it to him just about nightly now. I'll have to videotape him "reading" it back to me...he tries to match my voices and how I get so excited and scared at parts...it's the most adorable thing ever!

This book is one that Molly and I had never even heard of, and she just bought it at a "Scholastic Book Fair" at Lex's daycare, cause the cover looked neat. It's a very deep story that goes over Lex's head, but I love reading. The artwork inside changes each time the Panda tells the children a story, and is absolutely gorgeous.

One of my favorites from grad school. Perfect for Lex, since he starts Kindergarten in a couple of weeks and needs to shape up and listen to his teacher! (Or else she'll become Ms. Viola Swamp!!!"

KINGS OF LEON * ONLY BY THE NIGHT

I know, I'm like a year and a half late on this one...but for far too long, I wrote these guys off as a lame Southern Rock group. They kept on making catchy singles, and eventually (after hearing "Sex on Fire" a billion times) I broke down and bought one of their albums. It's damn good from start to finish, and as I just read in Entertainment Weekly, it looks like a REMIXED version is going to be coming out in the Fall, with remixes from Justin Timberlake and Trent Reznor!

BILL MAHER VS. THE "BIRTHERS"

2009-08-01T09:47:00.002-05:00

My God, Bill Maher didn't hold any punches last night (nor should he) against these nutjobs who keep insisting that Obama wasn't born in the US. I laughed so hard watching this clip...and then realized that he's right about NOT just treating this as some silly thing that will eventually go away on it's own.

So, luckily I have a comic in next week's Pitch about our very own Missouri Representative, Republican Roy Blunt and this incredible video that shows how leaders in power, even if they don't believe it themselves, keep fanning the flames of ignorance and hatred...

AWESOME LOST 1967 INTRO!

2009-07-28T10:18:00.002-05:00

My "brother from another mother...and father" friend from Georgia, Ryan "Kindercore founder, Owl Scooter salesman" Lewis and his real brothers created this incredible LOST intro for a contest that took place at Comicon. But, they missed the deadline by one day, and are now just showcasing their talent on the internets. (They're desperate and need constant attention, so humor them, won't you?)

Hopefully for posting this on my blog and giving him a whopping 3 more hits, he'll finally get around to printing up that Foxymoron collection...yes? :P

THIS IS WHAT WE'RE REDUCED TO AS A NATION...

2009-07-27T17:20:00.003-05:00

Republican leaders in Washington, refusing to say "yes or no" on the question of, "Is Obama an American born citizen?!" They won't say it, and instead toss out the "We'll see..." response because the only people left that they can count on are the Glenn Beck's of the world. The paranoid, scared-to-death lunatics that make up the base of their party right now.

This is the kind of thing that just makes you shake your head in disgust, and wonder how we've managed to get this far gone. When exactly did the type of shit that usually ends up in my spam folder on my email account, make it into the realm of "rational" political discussion? There are Representatives right now, trying to pass legislation directed at "Proving the President of the United States has a birth certificate." Lord help us all.

MATT GROENING AT COMICON

2009-07-25T15:36:00.003-05:00

Local TV writer for The Star, Aaron Barnhart recently caught up with Matt Groening at the Bongo Comics booth (the dude makes multiple millions of dollars a year and just causally hangs out at the booth until the crowds start swarming and he goes to hide out where NO ONE cares to visit...like Artist Alley or those by idiots who still make mini-comics. He also shows up for APE in SF every year!) and conducted a brief interview.

(The visuals might make you sea-sick...he was originally only going to use the audio from the clip, until Groening asked about the Flip HD camera he was using.)

Seriously. Matt Groening is super fucking nice and genuine. It's always a blast to see people you admire turn out to be a class act in person!

HOW A NERD SPENDS HIS SATURDAY AFTERNOON WHILE HE SHOULD BE RINGING UP CUSTOMERS...

2009-07-25T14:08:00.003-05:00

I can't help it. As much as I miss going to San Diego for the comicon, it's not being a part of the Lost panel that reeeeeeeeeeally kills me. Luckily, there was a live-blog of the whole thing. (A few spoilers...for those of you who don't like awesome things like that.)

FOR THE RECORD...

2009-07-25T10:15:00.002-05:00

...if I am about to be arrested for the crime of being in my own home, you can make damn sure I'm not going to quietly go, "That's cool officer. Please escort me downtown so I can spend the night in jail until you get this all sorted out, thanks!" I'm going to be too busy being pissed off and screaming out, "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! THIS IS MY OWN HOUSE! HOW THE FUCK CAN I BE "BREAKING INTO" MY OWN GOD DAMN HOUSE?!"

And for all these conservative bloggers and commentators who have spent the past year (if not their entire lives) rallying against "the government" for "infringing on our rights" to be taking the side of the cops on this issue...it's just another reason why these people have zero credibility left. Zero. Nada. Zip.

The only thing that pisses me off more than their hypocrisy is the fact that Obama started to backtrack once the "controversy" became plastered all over 24-7 news networks and the internets.

He was right the first time. The cops who arrested a man for being in his own home were stupid. Plain and simple.

FOR ALL THE TALK OF OBAMA AND HIS "TELEPROMPTER..."

2009-07-21T14:19:00.002-05:00

You'd think they'd realize that maybe it's not the smartest thing to write your speeches completely on your own. I mean, my editors at The Pitch give me suggestions and offer corrections before any of my comics actually see print. Does that make me an elitist? No, it just helps to make me look like less of a dumbass.

Vanity Fair helps Palin out with her Resignation Speech.

SERIOUSLY...SOMEONE GET GLENN BECK SOME HELP...

2009-07-21T10:46:00.002-05:00

He just keeps getting crazier. This is easily the most insane I've ever seen this dumbass...

A CALLER DAMN NEAR MAKES GLENN BECK'S HEAD EXPLODE

2009-07-16T12:20:00.001-05:00

God, I could listen to this all day long. They start arguing from the get-go, but the REAL fun begins around the 3:00 mark. Enjoy!

WHEN CONSERVATIVES LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT (PART TWO)

2009-07-12T12:23:00.005-05:00

Another week, another nonsensical bullshit "scandal" cooked up by the Drudge Report. Usually, the fact that it carries itself as a "news site" but obviously leans right doesn't bother me, (As I tend to immediately jump over to Huffington Post right after, and they obviously lean left.) What gets under my skin and makes my blood boil is the way he's so god damn desperate to get talk radio and the blogosphere fired up, (which then the national news media follows suit, covering the story of the how "everyone" is talking about this!) by purely manufacturing bullshit into some sort of scandal.

The latest issue was making the rounds (and email attachments) pretty good this past week was OBAMA CHECKING OUT THIS 16 YEAR OLD'S ASS!!!

And sure, the photo looks pretty funny, so a lot of people tossed the photo around. But leave it to Drudge to give it an off-color headline, (The Prez has got a boner, get it!) and leave it at the top of his website ALL DAY LONG!

But see, if you actually watch the video of the photo shoot, (they were lining up at the G8 Summit) you'll see how Obama was really looking down at the steps, because he was getting ready to help a woman step down to his level.

But you know what, so what. What if he WAS checking out a woman's ass? Would that seriously contend with the rest of what was going on that day in the news? I mean, I'm sure Obama is the first and only President to have ever had done such a thing...oh, wait, Clinton was a total horn-ball! I'm sure we have thousands of photos out there of him checking out chick's asses. Fucking Liberals. They just always have sex on the brain. But not George W. Bush! That man was a born-again Christian, a family man, a...

Hmmm...well, I'm sure the video is something completely different...and not a volleyball player bending over, waiting for him to slap her ass...

Well, shit.

*****

The other piece of bullshit that Drudge help set ablaze this week was the photo of Obama's 11 year old daughter, Malia, wearing a peace symbol t-shirt while her Daddy was in Italy for the G8 Summit.

The Conservative website Free Republic's comment section exploded with all sorts of racist fueled hate speech, including...

"Poor kids. I hope they're not 'punished with a baby', hopefully they won't deal cocaine like the Kenyan."

"DIRTBAGS! All of them. Our [White House] is now a joke to the rest of the world. We have no respect and this is not going to turn out well, mark my words. We will be hit, and much worse than last time. We are now seen as weak and vulnerable. Ghetto and Chicago thugs have taken over."

"They make me sick .... The whole family... mammy, pappy, the free loadin' mammy-in-law, the misguided chillin', and especially 'lil cuz... This is not the America I want representin' my peeps,"

"Could you imagine what world leaders must be thinking seeing this kind of street trash and that we paid for this kind of street ghetto trash to go over there?"

Now, I'm confused...weren't these the same people crying and calling for David Letterman's head on a platter for making jokes about Sarah Palin's kid? And what's with all the "Ghetto" shit? Does she have a giant clock hanging around her neck? Is there a solid gold grill in her mouth that I'm just not seeing in ANY of the photos of her visit?!

Bill Maher said it best a couple of weeks ago when that elderly Nazi nutbag shot the African American at the Holocaust Museum, "Not all Republicans are racist, but if you're racist, chances are you're a Republican."

I'll leave you with this bit of wisdom from Fox & Friends...

...quit marrying "other species," you freaks!

WHEN CONSERVATIVES LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

2009-06-30T10:35:00.001-05:00

They resort to shit like this.

HELLO THERE, STRANGER!

2009-06-07T13:46:00.003-05:00

Holy shit, it's almost been a month since I've last posted anything here. I apologize to all 3 of you who actually visit this from time to time, checking to see what I'm pissed off and ranting about this week...only to find the same ol' Lost Season Finale post lingering at the top for the better part of a month...

How about I make it up to you with a ginormous post about E3 and all the video game awesomeness that I'm looking forward to wasting time on for the next year or so?!

...wait, where are you going?! You haven't even clicked on these videos yet!!!

GOD OF WAR III

Video Games | God of War III | E3 09: Developer Walkthrough Pt. 4

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Have you ever seen that much wicked violence packed into 6 minutes?! I got a feeling I won't be playing that one with Lex in the room.

UNCHARTED 2: AMONG THIEVES

Video Games | Uncharted 2: Among Thieves | E3 09: Developer Walkthrough

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Look at how beautiful that game performs, how incredible it looks. These next-gen games are really blurring the line between cut-scene movies and interactive entertainment.

KATAMARI FOREVER

Video Games | Katamari Forever | E3 09: Sprinkler Gameplay

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

One of my favorite games ever gets re-released with new graphics, levels, and other surprises!

PIXELJUNK SHOOTER

Video Games | PixelJunk Shooter | E3 09: Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

These guys created the outstanding PixelJunk Eden last year and look to follow it up with another unique PSN title this year!

THE BEATLES: ROCK BAND

Video Games | The Beatles: Rock Band | E3 09: Cinematic Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

If you watch only one of these videos, (and are actually reading this) make sure and watch this one! It's done by the art director of the Gorillaz music videos and is insanely lovely to soak in.

HEAVY RAIN

Video Games | Heavy Rain | E3 09: Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

A game that plays out exactly like a movie. You control scenes, characters, decisions, everything...and your choices affect the outcome. (You can even kill all 4 of the main characters and the story still continues onward.

MINI NINJAS

Video Games | Mini Ninjas | E3 09: Story Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

How cute does this game look?!

NEW SUPER MARIO BROS!

Video Games | New Super Mario Bros. Wii | E3 09: Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Basically the DS game on the Wii, with added features.

I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THE LOST SEASON FINALE...

2009-05-12T16:33:00.002-05:00

...I might place chip clips on my nipples.

(hey, it's YOUR fault for visiting my blog in the first place)

(print off your own version of this awesome poster thanks to Flickr user Tasty 'Shops!)

THIS SUMS IT UP COMPLETELY

2009-05-09T15:20:00.001-05:00

THE TIDE IS TURNING...

2009-05-02T14:09:00.002-05:00

...and the GOP is gonna drown under the issue of gay marriage.

Even the polls that show a majority of people against gay marriage are doing so with slimmer margins. Another year or two, and you can kiss the majority goodbye completely.

But get a look at these comments below the article...how can you possibly argue with facts (and misspeelllsings) such as these?!

NO ONE SURVEYED ME, NO MARRIAGE, NO WAY...YOU WANT TO LIVE TOGATHER, FINE, JUST STAY OUT OF MY FACE, AND DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME CHANGE MY WAYS...

Did you know Obama is raping America? Ouch! No wonder my ass hurts...

a civil union support is night and day from supporting gay marriage, I lived in California all my life and ABSOLUTELY OPPOSE gay marriage. I just doesn't jive with reality, what comes next I want to marry 3 wives or my dog??? and what's with the ABC poll, how liberal can you get. I have moved to Alabama and suprisingly most people around here feel just like they do in California, quit trying to fake these results. Two dudes want to spend there lives together, share property, be together when one is dyeing, that is alright I have no problem with that, but marriage is Ordained for ME from scripture, and the constitution gives no basis for a homosexual marriage, you have to start respecting our view too.
You may be ahead right now with "that man Obama" in office, I love to call him that because it makes you guys scream while you read, but I am screaming at the rape of my country because of that man. So read your onesided lib polls and believe what you want. No majority supports gay marriage.

This next one is my favorite, cause it mixes bigotry AND science!

Redefine marriage as woman and woman or man and man, its completely wrong. Its like saying protons with positive sign are gays. Allowing the concept of marriage to be redifined is against all natural laws.

But don't worry, Conservatives...you still got Miss "The Miss USA pageant BOUGHT me my fake tits" California just joined the National Organization for Marriage campaign (those douchebags who created the "Gathering Homo Storm" a couple weeks back) so at least you got THAT going for you!

HAS IT ONLY BEEN 100 DAYS?!

2009-04-30T02:09:00.000-05:00

Jesus Tapdancin' Christ...imagine Fox News 100 days from now!!!

WE GOTS A 60 VOTE MAJORITY NOW

2009-04-28T15:08:00.003-05:00

Arlen Specter just switched from a Republican to a Democrat today. As soon as the GOP quits being sore losers and FINALLY SEATS Al Franken, the Democrats will have the 60 votes they need to pass anything they damn well choose.

Be prepared conservatives, here's a short list of what you have to look forward to within the next couple of years:

GAY MARRIAGE FOR EVERYONE! What's that? You enjoy being married to someone of the opposite sex? Too bad, you gotta marry a gay person now!!!

EVERY CAR WILL NOW RUN ON MAPLE SYRUP! Goodbye oil, hello tastiness!

ABORTIONS FOR ALL! Men, women, it doesn't matter.

THE ONLY RECOGNIZED GOD SHALL BE BOB MARLEY! Yah man!

...okay, fine...none of that shit will occur. But you know that the paranoid "SOCIALISM IS AROUND THE CORNER" fucks are deep within their bunkers today, convinced that the end of America is upon us.

As for me, I'm just glad that we don't even need the GOP's input on things like Health Care Reform any more. Not that they offered anything constructive outside of shouting "nananana boo boo" and sticking their fingers in their ears.

IT'S ABOUT TIME OBAMA STARTS PLAYING HARDBALL

2009-04-25T14:01:00.002-05:00

Obama recently had a closed-door session with Republican leaders, reminding them that the last time he attempted to compromise with them, (putting in 40% of tax breaks into the stimulus) they gave him ZERO votes. Both times.

So when it comes to Health Care Reform, he's not even bothering to give them an inch. Come October 15th, he doesn't need a single vote from them anyway and plans on just passing it through as "reconciliation," which means he doesn't need 60 votes and the GOP can't even filibuster it if they wanted to.

But hey, maybe they can just move off to Texasland, and form their own damn country.

ADELE COVERS DYLAN...

2009-04-20T00:39:00.001-05:00

MUCH better than Garth Brooks.

Make You Feel My Love is off my favorite Dylan album, "Time Out Of Mind."

I GOTS MYSELF TEABAGGED

2009-04-16T13:17:00.003-05:00

Even though I had to squeeze in a haircut and making sure I got home in time to pick Molly up before we headed out to Amanda and Kevin's house to have dinner and watch Lost, I HAD to drive downtown and catch a glimpse of the Tea Bag Party!!!

If you had trouble finding the place (seriously, it was at Liberty Memorial, how could you fucking MISS IT?!) there were guys walking around holding signs to direct you to the festivities.

While there were more people there than I figured (I got there right at 4, when the thing started) there wasn't 4,000-5,000 as the organizers stated today in the newspaper. Perhaps a TON more people showed up after I had left, but while I was there, I'd say the figure was much closer to 1,500 or so.

People brought their kids, which I thought was kind of odd. I mean, I took Lex to see Barack Obama speak at Liberty Memorial (which had *ahem* a turnout in the 70,000's or so) but that wasn't a protest...it was a chance to see the future President of the United States in person. I've never gone to a war protest or a gay rights protest before, but if I did, I don't think I'd feel comfortable bringing my son along.

Especially not to hold a sign and let him be used as some sort of political prop.

There were a lot of signs concerning taxes, which I felt were odd. Isn't Obama LOWERING taxes on 95% of Americans? Perhaps these two are making more than $250,000 a year...somehow I doubt it.

Some of these people seemed out of place. NO MORE WARS?! Are you kidding me? These people LOVE their wars!!! They have no problem with spending trillions on blowing people up...it's wanting to help people pay their bills or allow them to keep their jobs that they have a problem with!

A PEACE SIGN?! AND A RAINBOW ONE AT THAT?! I'll be surprised if this person made it out alive.

This guy was having so much fun, he gave himself TWO boners!

...but I know what you're saying. "Travis, where are the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally crazy people at? The ones that make your head spin and your eyes cross and your teeth hurt?" Well, look no further...

Yes, that's a fetus...SMOKING?! I'm guessing he's protesting the fact that his baby can't afford cigarettes cause Obama taxes them too much?! Wow. You can't argue with that...don't even try.

...and my absolute favorite...

First off, I want it to be known (in case this photo gets out there running wild on the internets) that the kid drinking the Dr. Pepper IS NOT the one holding this sign. That poor kid just got dragged there by his parents and happened to wander into this shot.

Secondly, I've stared at this photo for hours on end and STILL can't make sense of it. Green is Red. What the fuck does that even mean? And the watermelon thing? I mean, that has NO OTHER REASON to be on there besides our President is black, right? Am I missing something?

There's more photos over there on my Flickr account. I almost wished I could have stayed longer and listened to them chant and shout out phrases, but since I got there when it had barely started, they were pretty much just standing around and staring at one another. It was really pretty lame.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS ANY FUNNIER IF YOU TRIED

2009-04-14T16:41:00.002-05:00

Now you can tea bag your favorite (or least favorite) liberal, courtesy of a national grassroots movement, of hard-working, concerned citizens...no, wait...courtesy of the Republican National Committee.

...my mistake.

LISTEN IN AS THE WINGNUTS GATHER FOR TEA BAGGERY

2009-04-13T00:42:00.002-05:00

Did you know that when the TV's switch over to digital in June, it's actually a way for the Federal Government to brainwash us all? No? Well consider yourself INFORMED, beeeeeeyoches...

WOODY HARRELSON IS MY HERO

2009-04-11T12:51:00.002-05:00

He claims he punched a paparazzi in the face, (who was following him and his daughter around at the airport) because he thought the photographer was a zombie.

...no, seriously.

"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist.

"With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.

TMZ has the video.

WE'VE OFFICIALLY RAN OUT OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT...

2009-04-11T10:48:00.002-05:00

Are your kids smoking candy?!

...and by kids, they mean 18 year old douchebags...

ALL THIS POPULIST RAGE IS GREAT FOR RATINGS...

2009-04-10T17:17:00.003-05:00

...but bad for America.

Glenn Beck has become a parody of himself and it only took a couple of months. The sad thing is, people who are desperate, needing a quick fix to make themselves feel better about their own struggles, watch this ridiculous act and think they're supposed to "STAND UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!" But in reality, it's just a sideshow...a joke on these poor, hapless souls, who were already paranoid and on edge to begin with.

Did you see how insanely quick Beck went from yelling at the top of his voice, pounding the table, to smiling and laughing at the guy covered in water?! He can turn on the ANGER with the flip of a switch and then go right back to being the "rodeo clown" he pretends to be once people start shooting cops cause he kinda-sorta told his viewers that Obama was going to take their guns away.

DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW WHAT "TEA BAGGING" REALLY MEANS?!

2009-04-10T14:42:00.003-05:00

Conservatives all across the country are counting down to April 15th, when the next batch of Tea Parties begin. (There's TWO happening in Kansas City alone?! Maybe they can take turns tea baggin' each other?)

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I can't say I completely understand their frustration, (are they all making over $250,000? No? Then aren't they actually going to be taxed less?!) but at least it gives us some nice videos to watch as these loons spew their insane thoughts to anyone with a camera.

All of these people don't think our President was even born in America...yes, still...

This next one shows you how quickly things can get out of control when you start talking "revolution!" They start out laughing and having a fun time...then around 2:45 they start getting craaaaaaaazy and shouting at this poor sap...

Huffington Post has more.

And keep an eye out for my comic about this silly shit in next week's Pitch.

THE CONSERVATIVES HAVE LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS

2009-04-08T13:38:00.002-05:00

They are so off-the-wall crazy and fearful and scared shitless of Obama and liberals...and it's only been like 10 WEEKS?! Imagine how fucking nuts they're going to be a couple years from now.

First up, Jon Stewart lays out how fucking ridiculous the "Socialism, Facisim, Communism" talk really has gotten lately...

The quote that nails it on the head, "I think you might be confusing "tyranny" with "losing."

Then, just today, this hillllllllarious new ad for NationForMarriage.org started making the rounds on the internets and soon televisions...

Seriously. That's not a parody. That's a REAL ad that they're REALLY going to air on TV and think that REAL people aren't going to REALLY laugh their asses off.

"My freedom will be taken away."

"I will have no choice."

"The storm is coming..."

But my favorite is the douche at the end, informing us all that a "Rainbow Coalition" is forming to stand for love and marriage. Um, first off, "Rainbow Coalition" is the name of Jesse Jackson's non-profit organization, and secondly, it sounds really, really gay.

OBAMA GONNA TAKE MY GUNS AWAY!!!

2009-04-06T16:09:00.002-05:00

Lots of bloggers are writing much better articles than I can even try to complete while I'm stuck at work...all about the nutball in Philly who was scared the government was coming to take away his guns, so he LOADED UP HIS AUTOMATIC WEAPONS AND KILLED THREE POLICE OFFICERS?! Man, that oughta show 'em!

Go here and here and here to watch the newsclips of his friends describe this paranoid prick.

They say things like...

He just basically told me he didn’t like the Zionist control over our government, he didn’t like that there was about to be military policing, he didn’t believe in the fact that there was about to be a gun ban. He didn’t like anything that was going on in the political forefront, and he was basically very politically active, and he didn’t agree with what was going on right now in the United States of America.

Gee, I wonder where he'd get such a crazy idea like that?!

It's one thing to make fun of Glenn Beck and point fingers at him and laugh...but some people take the shit he spews as gospel. And preying on people's paranoia is a dangerous situation within itself. Obama's a socialist! He's going to take away your guns! FEMA is sitting up concentration camps!!!

...is it any wonder a horrible, tragic situation occurred?

And yet, some of the media think it might have been something else entirely. Turns out it was all over an argument about a dog peeing on the carpet?! Who knew?

* SQUISH!!! *

2009-04-03T10:01:00.004-05:00

...that's the sound of conservatives' heads exploding...

Because Iowa, yes THAT Iowa, just unanimously ruled that Gay Marriage is legal.

UNANIMOUSLY.

IOWA????!!!

Read all about it here and then pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.

GLENN BECK

2009-03-31T14:11:00.003-05:00

***UPDATED***

Colbert went after him again on Tuesday night

*****

A lot of conservative commentators are laughable and easy to make fun of...but Glenn Beck takes the cake. I first heard about him about 2-3 years ago, when his radio show was first carried here in Kansas City. (Yes, I listen to talk radio on the way home sometimes...it's one of my vices) Molly's Dad was (and I say WAS, cause I don't think he still is) a big fan of his back in the day and while I got the gist that Beck was pretty religious and conservative, I never thought he was batshit insane...until recently.

He had a TV show on CNN a year or so ago that no one, and I mean NO ONE watched. He prides himself on being the "3rd Most Listened To Talk Show in America" on his radio program...which probably has a better ring to it rather than, "The 26th Most Watched TV Show Behind That Show About The Guy Who Can Talk To The Dogs."

But that was then...now he's on Fox. Big Time. He's getting on the cover of the New York Times. And to ensure he's getting the ratings, he's turned the crazy knob all the way to 11...and people are ripping him and his phony act to shreds...

Stephen Colbert has been the best at it...

But Keith Olbermann did a nice job last night of reminding us what kind of douche this guy has been for years before his pathetic "9/12 Project." For you see, he was against the victims of 9/11 before he was for them...

But here's the thing...even conservatives are starting to laugh at him and make fun of the crazy bullshit he's pulling out of his ass for ratings.

Shepard Smith from Fox News:

Joe Scarborough couldn't contain himself this morning:

COME GATHER 'ROUND ME, FELLOW NERDS

2009-03-29T22:35:00.000-05:00

***this will remain up at the top of my blog until the show has passed...other ramblings by me will appear below***

MARCH 28th-29th is Kansas City's largest and awesomest comic convention. Daniel Spottswood and I will be sharing a table again this year and would love to sell you some of our reasonably priced mini-comics. (and perhaps other surprises that I may or may not be currently working on!)

So, come by and say hello! If not to meet us, at least for the chance to make-out with the creepy dude who played Chewbacca and the hott evil Kryptonian cougar from those Superman movies! (3-way will probably cost you extra.)

KATAMARI FOR THE PS3!!!

2009-03-26T15:06:00.000-05:00

All is right with the world.

ENOUGH WITH THIS "TELEPROMPTER" BULLSHIT

2009-03-24T23:56:00.003-05:00

Rush Limbaugh started this whole notion of "Obama isn't that good of a speaker, he just reads well off the teleprompter" and now it's made it's way into an AP analysis.

Ron Fournier writes...

****
WASHINGTON (AP) - What kind of politician brings a teleprompter to a news conference?

A careful one.

President Barack Obama took no chances in his second prime-time news conference, reading a prepared statement in which he took both sides of the AIG bonus brouhaha and asked an anxious nation for its patience.
****

Oh please...like Presidents don't ALWAYS make a prepared statement beforehand, usually off notes in front of them or reading it off a teleprompter. They're acting like he's somehow cheating because he doesn't memorize everything word for word.

****
It was a carefully modulated statement, and Obama—relying on a familiar crutch—read it off a flat-screen monitor perched at the back of the East Room.

The teleprompter was no help during the question-and-answer session (reporters don't signal their intentions), but Obama was no less careful during that give and take.

Asked why people should trust government with the regulatory authority to take over failing financial companies such as troubled insurer American International Group Inc., Obama passed on the chance to demonize Washington.

"Keep in mind, it is precisely because of the lack of this authority that the AIG situation has gotten worse," Obama said. He then gave a scholarly explanation of how the proposal would work.

Pressed again, Obama cited the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation's handling of the IndyMac Bank as an example of government properly using its authority.

The government did something right? That's news to most Americans.
****

First, note the loaded language in "relying on a familar crutch." What the fuck is that even about? A crutch? Is it suddenly a crutch to use something EVERY PRESIDENT IN THE PAST 30 YEARS HAS USED? Why don't they go after the fact that he uses a microphone while they're at it?

"You know, if Obama was a better speaker, he wouldn't need that familar crutch of electrical sound enhancement and would just use his own voice to speak to the entire room."

I mean give me a break...this is such desperate bullshit. An issue that no one outside talk radio and the Washington DC bubble give two shits about, and yet it keeps gathering attention?

And then, this notion of shock in the statement, "The government did something right? That's news to most Americans."

Sigh...I know this was some AP guy's analysis and not a full blown news story...but c'mon. As bad as the GOP would like you to believe, Americans are WANTING the government to do more and believe that things are getting better as a result. This "Government can't do anything right" is also the subject of my latest comic...

****
"This is a big ocean liner, it's not a speedboat. It doesn't turn around immediately," he said Tuesday night. "But we're in a better, better place because of the decisions that we made."

Calm. Cool. Careful.

One of the few times he summoned raw emotion came after a reporter demanded to know why it took him so long to express outrage over the AIG executive bonuses.

"It took a couple of days because I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak."

Even better, he likes to have it up on the teleprompter.
****

Hahahahahahahahaha! The President likes to think about things and not rush to judgement! Hahahahahahaha! He's so stupid for not just going with his gut instinct and making up words and talking down to us all like we're a nation of eight year olds!

...that's seriously how far we've come. We'd rather have a "shoot first and ask questions never" kind of President than one who wishes to think things over, and speak to us with words he's reading off a teleprompter to make sure he gets it right?

C'mon GOP, you gave us eight years of this guy...

...you really want to start pointing fingers and laughing at Obama's ability to speak to us?

WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO...

2009-03-23T17:50:00.002-05:00

If you wanna take a peek.

...and we're getting some press...

FRIDAY, I'M IN LOVE...

2009-03-20T13:00:00.002-05:00

I've always had a soft spot for Bob Dylan. I love his lyrics, I love his melodies, and I'm one of the few who loves his voice! Especially in the 90's when it just completely went to shit and make him sound like Tom Waits' altered twin.

But when I found out that he has a new album coming out and that this is the cover for it, I got goosebumps...

In that interview he states that he likens the sound of this album to those from the old Chess and Sun Records days. Raw, intense, emotional sound...the kind that pulls you in close and doesn't let go. I can't wait.

But unfortunately, I have to. It doesn't come out until April 28th.

...sigh...

WHY RUSH IS WRONG

2009-03-13T12:31:00.002-05:00

(go buy a copy of the new Newsweek magazine to see that image in all of it's sweaty, bloated glory.)

David Frum, (A lifelong Conservative and speechwriter for George W. Bush who coined the phrase "Axis of Evil") writes a brutal article for Newsweek where he explains why Rush Limbaugh is the worst person the GOP could rally behind.

This quote nails it perfectly, "Rush is to the Republicanism of the 2000s what Jesse Jackson was to the Democratic party in the 1980s."

RICKY GERVAIS + ELMO = COMEDY GOLD!!!

2009-03-12T16:57:00.002-05:00

I guess the full episode won't be shown for awhile, but for now, the 2 minutes of out-takes are enough to leave my sides in pain from laughing so much...

I love how Ricky cracks himself up! And seriously, the amount of fun everyone on that set was having should probably be illegal... (I'm just jealous)

GREAT MUSICAL PERFORMANCES ON LETTERMAN

2009-03-12T02:56:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted some of these before, other's (like Zevon) I'll keep on posting over and over again, because it's that damn touching. (It seriously gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!)

But yeah, check these out if you got the time. Each one of them is absolutely incredible!

HOW IS JIM CRAMER NOT IN JAIL?!

2009-03-11T15:15:00.002-05:00

Here's a video of some "internet talk show" from back in 2006 where Jim Cramer explains how to manipulate the stock market. He's completely telling people to lie and cheat and completely "game the system, cause it's fun."

I know Jon Stewart has spent all week on Jim Cramer and CNBC already...but he really NEEDS to at least address this tonight as well. It's like someone having a video of Bush sitting down with some no-name internet talk show host and being like, "Oh, that whole "going into Iraq thing? I totally did that on a dare! HA! It was fun!"

"...I'VE ALREADY BEEN BORN ONCE, I DON'T WANNA BE BORN AGAIN."

2009-03-10T13:47:00.005-05:00

(song lyric from Nick Cave's "Little Empty Boat")

Religion has always been a subject that fascinated me. As a young child, I often wondered why Mom, my brother, and I would head off to Sunday School while Dad stayed home. My Mom would make excuses like, "Oh he reads the Bible when he works on the railroad" but that, obviously was a lie. It turns out that my Dad wasn't religious at all. Didn't see the point in going to church, or the need to even discuss God.

He wasn't the kind of guy who poured his heart out, and there were many subjects that I was never able to sit down and pick his mind before he died two years ago on March 5th.

So actions spelled out how he felt. And I'll never forget sitting in his hospital room, awaiting his final surgery to remove the tumors from his brain, as the Hospital Ministry enters the room, and he just tells them, "Thanks, but no thanks."

That pretty much ended my feeling of, "I wonder what Dad believes?" He might have believed in God, but it wasn't in the sense of needing someone else to pray for him...even as he lay dying.

My Mother on the other hand, believed in God something fierce. So much so, that when she got diagnosed with breast cancer, she began reading the Bible again. Feeling as though she was being punished for not being a good enough Christian. And when the cancer came back a year later, this time in the breast the doctors hadn't removed...she prayed harder. Felt like it was God testing her. Even as the tumors entered her brain, and she was given "months" to live, she never gave up faith that somehow, God would make things better.

...and in a way, he did. In that she went out gracefully. My Dad, he pretty much gave up on life once the tumors came back and were deeper and bigger than originally dealt with. However, my Mom used her belief that it was "In God's Hands" to allow her to never fear the ultimate end...because for her, it was simply a beginning.

Which brings me to my feelings towards religion. It's ultimately about what makes you feel good. If it brings you happiness and a sense of purpose, then fine, be one with God. But once you use your faith to impose other people's lives, or feel as though you somehow know the "Truth" while those around you don't...that's when you've lost me. No one knows what happens when we die. Not the Pope, not the Dalai Lama...no one.

Thus, less and less Americans are believing in organized religion. The number of "No Religion" has grown rapidly over the past 18 years...while all the other faiths have fallen or stayed the same.

Look at that...15% of people now say they do not follow any sort of religion. Not that they're Atheists, mind you, (Lord knows, I'm not certain enough to be THAT arrogant!) just that they don't go to church or follow a certain organized religion.

That's almost as much as Baptists. And they're SECOND behind Catholics.

To me, this is great news. Of course, there are those who feel that without religion, we're all going to Hell in a handbasket...but I disagree. I think it's about time that we realize that while a lot of the stories in the Bible are good for teaching us right and wrong...they're not facts. They're not a blueprint for how you must live your life...or else.

And listen, I send my kid to a Methodist daycare. For one, it's (pardon the pun) a hell of a lot cheaper than most day cares, and two, I also teach him about Santa and soon enough the Tooth Fairy. Should I be so "realistic" with him that I take out all the magic in life? If it makes him behave better thinking that "God is watching you" then so be it. When he gets older, he can make the judgment if he wants to keep on believing that or not.

I'll leave this long, rambling post with the most awesome view of religion that I've ever had the privilege of hearing. It's from my Mythology class in high school, (fuck you, I'm a nerd, so what) and it seriously is perfect for understanding the role religion should have in our lives.

Examining all the religions throughout time, from people who worshiped pharaohs, to those who figured Zeus was the way to believe...one thing became clear. How could ANY of this be real? You get the sense that because Man has always had self-awareness that one day he will die, he always had to create stories dealing with "what then?" So much of what's in the Bible was taken from religions before them, and those borrowed from before them and so on and so forth...

So the best way to look at religion is like the way you look at going to the movies. You have three options.

#1. Choose to believe everything you're about to see on the screen is real. All of it. The guns, the aliens, the scary killer hiding in the closet...and you'll probably give yourself a heart attack by worrying about it constantly. And once it's all over, you'll have missed the point of why you went to the movie to begin with...to enjoy it.

#2. Choose to believe that it's all fake. Those are nothing more than mere actors on the screen. Those aliens are CGI and the blood and death is all make-believe. You once again would miss the point of the movie and enjoy nothing.

#3. Or you could view a movie like most of us tend to. You know in the back of your mind that it's nothing more than actors and CGI and make-believe, but you allow yourself to get lost in the story, get goosebumps at the awesome musical cues, and leave the theater with a smile on your face.

Isn't that the best way to go through life? Not getting caught up in the small details, or worrying about things we'll never be able to understand...and simply live for today? That's how I try and live my life and to the rest of you 15%er's, I salute you.

POOR JIM CRAMER...

2009-03-10T10:18:00.002-05:00

...only made things worse by trying to defend himself against Jon Stewart, saying he was taken out of context.

If it's context you want, it's context you shall receive...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

In Cramer We Trust

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

OH NOES!!! WE'S ALL GONNA DIE!!!

2009-03-09T13:01:00.003-05:00

So says, "Respected pastor, best-selling author and founder of a major ministry to teens" David Wilkerson.

Who?

Exactly.

I guess he wrote "The Cross and the Switchblade" about street kids in New York struggling for salvation, which was later turned into a movie starring Pat Boone?! (think West Side Story, only Holier..."JESUS! I just met a man named JEEEEEEEEESUS!")

Anyway he just had himself a vision that God's going to kill us all.

Well shit...There goes my weekend.

I got a nice, long post about religion coming up later today, but thought this might whet your appetite until then.

WHY LEE JUDGE IS A PROFESSIONAL...

2009-03-09T12:45:00.002-05:00

...and I'm merely a hack.

Lee worked for The Kansas City Star as their Political Cartoonist for over 20 (if not close to 30) years and was laid off a few months ago due to the fact that the newspaper industry is struggling to survive. But luckily, he's still able to do freelance for them from time to time and prove that he's just as funny and hard-hitting as he always was!

I WATCH(ED) THE WATCHMEN...

2009-03-08T12:43:00.003-05:00

...and liked it.

Yeah, I know...half of my comic friends just threw up in their mouths right now.

Honestly, I feel bad for Zach Snyder. The poor bastard was damned no matter what type of movie he made. Because I've read a ton of reviews for Watchmen. Some from newspapers, some from internet movie fansites, some from personal friends of mine...and none of them agree on whether it was too long, too short. Whether it strayed from the original material too much, or needed to stay scene-for-scene perfect. And then I would read the comment sections and see even more opposing opinions. How the fuck could he please all these people?!

The only thing everyone seemed to agree on was the ending let them down...and to that extent, I agree.

You have a 3-hour-epic and it's filled to the brim with incredible imagery, passable dialogue, heavy themes and it just slows to a halt at the end...and talks...and talks...and talks...

But up until that last 15-20 minutes, I would give the movie a 9 out of 10. Seriously. (as it stands, I'd say it's more of a 7/10 film instead)

I didn't care that none of the Watchmen have super powers, (aside from Dr. Manhattan) yet in the film they're punching through walls, throwing people 40 feet into the air, or how choreographed the fight sequences were. (including more of that slow-mo that he loved do much in 300.) It made the fights more intense, gave us eye-candy to marvel at, (cause we've all wanted to see bones rip right out from their flesh!) and was just fun to watch.

Sure, it wasn't an emotional masterpiece. The characters weren't fleshed out as much as they were in the comic...but I really thought they did a good enough job establishing the aspects we most needed. I bought Dan and Laurie's love affair. I got that Dr. Manhattan was becoming more and more distant from humanity. Rorschach was by far the scene-stealer of the entire film. Jackie Earle Haley outdid himself in this role and might be able to get some award nominations down the line. The only weak link was Ozymandias. You never got the sense that he really was the world's smartest man...and his acting chops weren't that terrific.

But man, the moments that made the comic incredible are brought to life before our very eyes.

The Comedian's funeral inter-cut with all the horrible memories people had of him over the years is in there. You witness Rorschach deal with the child molester (with an even more brutal ending!) The entire prison sequence is there in all of it's bloody, bloody, bloody glory. The awkward "Night Owl can't get it up" attempted love scene is even still included!

...but nothing, and I mean nothing is as incredible as when Dr. Manhattan leaves Earth to hang out on Mars. That sequence, including him reliving his life up until that moment, gave me goosebumps.

For all the amazing special effects and make-up, it blows my mind how piss poor Nixon looks, (is he trying to out-cartoon Pinocchio with that nose?!) and why they chose to let Carla Gugino play the 60-year-old version of Silk Spectre is beyond me. Her make-up (and acting) was probably the least believable thing in the entire film.

I know that a lot has been made of the musical choices and how "obvious" they were...but again, it actually worked for me. A lot of what made the Watchmen believable was that it took place in our world, in our America, in our history...so choosing songs that are instantly recognizable and hold deep emotions with what was going on at the time, made sense to me. (Sure, Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" during the sex scene was a bit much, but that was the only one that really made me giggle a lil' bit and took me out of the context of the film itself.)

Listen, it's not the greatest superhero movie ever made...and will barely make my top ten list at the end of the year (if at all) but I don't understand the way people are HAAAAAAAAATING it. I thought it was a lot of fun (as "fun" as a movie about attempted rape, murdering pregnant women, cutting arms off with a buzzsaw, and the constant threat of nuclear holocaust can be!)

In the end, it's not perfect, but I really felt that Zach Snyder fought to keep the bits that mattered most (NOT having it set present day, NOT covering up the blue cock, NOT settling for a PG-13 rating) and respected the graphic novel enough to not stray away too much. (I actually wished the Squid was still in the ending!)

Bonus! For those interested, the movies amazing opening title sequence have leaked all over the internet (and are being removed about as quickly as they're being uploaded) but for now, this foreign link seems to still work! Enjoy!

RUSH LIMBAUGH IS NOTHING IF NOT CLASSY

2009-03-06T16:16:00.003-06:00

The bloated drug addict told his audience that the Health Care Reform President Obama is attempting to get passed through Congress will soon be called "The Ted Kennedy Memorial Bill."

Because...you see...Ted Kennedy is dying of brain cancer! HA! Ain't that hilarious?!

Conservatives such as (deleted) are convinced that all this extra attention Limbaugh is getting will lead the GOP to a historic 2010 where they'll once again take control of the House and Senate. And suddenly, I agree!

Because losing both of my parents to brain tumors, I know more than most that Americans accept the use of insensitive jokes at the expense of dying people are totally okay as long as they're of the opposite political party. Right?

ONE MORE REASON...

2009-03-05T10:09:00.003-06:00

...The Daily Show is more powerful than half of the "real" news out there. They are able to completely tear CNBC a new one, with nothing more than humor and facts. They call them out for being wrong about the stock market, leading the way for people to lose everything they had built up over the past decade, and even straight out call them whores for Wall Street...and not have to worry about being "fair and balanced." Because sometimes, there is no "other viewpoint" to consider. Sometimes, you have to push back hard, and remind people of who the real assholes who got us into this mess are. (Psssst, it ain't just the homeowners...no matter what Rush Limbaugh says)

*updated with a video that might actually work now*

G.I. JOE FAKE PSA'S

2009-03-03T01:19:00.002-06:00

These are seriously 3 years old by now, but still make me laugh until my sides hurt...

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS...

2009-02-28T00:33:00.002-06:00

Poor ol' Bobby Jindal just ain't having a good week. It started with an awkward interview on Meet The Press, then his GOP response Tuesday night, where he spent a couple minutes talking about meeting with a local sheriff and trying to get rescue boats to help Katrina victims.

...turns out, he LIED about that whole thing.

In fact, Jindal wasn't even in the sheriff's office at the time that conversation went down, and only heard about it DAYS LATER.

Watch this bastard tell the American people this BS story, attempting to sell us on the fact that you can't trust the federal government...

...sorry Jindal, but maybe America just can't trust your lying ass.

YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW I DON'T WATCH 30 ROCK...

2009-02-26T10:12:00.001-06:00

...but that doesn't mean that this isn't absolutely hilaaaaaaaaaaaaarious...

JUST AS I PREDICTED...

2009-02-25T09:59:00.002-06:00

...but even worse than I imagined, Jindal was a disaster. His delivery of the GOP Response was cold and awkward. He told stories that seemed more like they were written for him rather than actual experiences he lived through. And seriously? He wants to bring up Katrina as proof that you can't rely on the Federal Government? Who was President during that whole fiasco? You basically just called George W Bush a huge failure in front of the entire country...and he was the leader of YOUR party! If he hadn't taken a entire week off before dealing with that disaster, maybe your sheriff wouldn't have needed to find people using local residents and their own boats.

MSNBC had me howling after his response ended, because they all said exactly what I was yelling at the screen as he spoke!

And before you think, "Well, sure those liberals are going to think Jindal was awful," let's see how well Fox News thought he did...

FUN FACT: TONIGHT ISN'T A "STATE OF THE UNION"

2009-02-24T14:52:00.003-06:00

That doesn't happen until next year. Tonight's speech is actually called a "annual message."

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal will be delivering the GOP's response, and if it's anything like his ~~train wreck~~ um...appearance on last Sunday's Meet The Press, expect him to spend more time on his 2012 Presidential run than on the state of our union.

ALAN KEYES NEEDS TO SPEAK HIS MIND MORE OFTEN...

2009-02-22T01:43:00.001-06:00

C'mon GOP, give this guy a Senate seat already! He makes Sarah Palin look sane!

WHY REPUBLICANS CAN'T LECTURE ANYONE ON THE ECONOMY...

2009-02-21T14:25:00.003-06:00

...because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

ME GONNA BE ON TV

2009-02-17T13:22:00.002-06:00

This Thursday evening. KCPT. 8pm. Tune in and watch me in all of my three minutes of comic artist nerdly glory!

FOXYMORON SUCKS!

EVERYONE'S GOING TO HEAVEN (AND COMING BACK WITH A BOOK DEAL!)

BEST MOVIES OF 2009! (THAT I SAW)

BEST ALBUMS OF 2009

BEST GAMES OF 2009

PRISONERS <3 HUCKABEE

KEITH OLBERMANN ON OBAMA'S AFGHANISTAN DECISION.

GLENN BECK AIN'T GETTING ANY UN-CRAZIER

UP IN THE AIR

GRRRRR...THAT LIBERAL MEDIA AND IT'S ELITE "FACTS"

RISE OF THE REPUBLICANS!!!

WHAT WE'RE UP AGAINST...

MY COMIC ON THE "FRANKEN BILL" NONSENSE

MUSIC THAT I WANT NOW...

WATCH AL FRANKEN TEAR THE LAWYER FOR KBR A NEW ONE

GRAB A MOP.

THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE

HERE'S SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE TO YOU OBAMA-IS-A-NAZI DUMBASSES...

OBAMA: I WILL END "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL."

POOR GLENN BECK...

I LOVE THE FACT THAT I NO LONGER HAVE TO HANG MY HEAD IN SHAME WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I PLAY VIDEO GAMES...

AIN'T NO RACISM...

MICHAEL MOORE ON CNN

GLENN BECK REFUSES TO EXPLAIN "WHITE CULTURE."

WHAT RACISM?!

ALL OF YOU TEABAGGERS, PLEASE SIGN AND DATE THIS.

HOW FAR WE'VE GOTTEN OFF TRACK

PHOTOS FROM TODAY'S 9/12 TEA PARTY IN WASHINGTON

KATAMARI FOREVER

GOOD THING REPUBLICANS WERE UP IN ARMS ABOUT OBAMA'S SPEECH TO SCHOOL CHILDREN...

THE ROAD: FILM CLIPS

AL FRANKEN TALKING TO HEATH CARE TEA BAGGERS

OBAMA'S EULOGY FOR EDWARD KENNEDY

9.9.09

WHY CAN'T WE GET HEALTH CARE PASSED IN THIS COUNTRY?!

"IS OBAMA CREATING A CIVIL WAR IN AMERICA?"

MORE TOWN HALL MADNESS

THINGS I NEED NOW...

I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH WAR NOW

"DEATH TO OBAMA"

KEEP IT CLASSY, HEALTH CARE PROTESTERS!

SPECIAL COMMENT ON THE TACTICS OF FEAR WHEN DEALING WITH HEALTH CARE IN THIS COUNTRY

CONGRATULATIONS, CONSERVATIVES!!!

15 YEARS

THE BEATLES: ROCK BAND

A COUPLE MORE AWESOME THINGS I'M CURRENTLY ENJOYING

AWESOME THINGS I'M CURRENTLY ENJOYING

BILL MAHER VS. THE "BIRTHERS"

AWESOME LOST 1967 INTRO!

THIS IS WHAT WE'RE REDUCED TO AS A NATION...

MATT GROENING AT COMICON

HOW A NERD SPENDS HIS SATURDAY AFTERNOON WHILE HE SHOULD BE RINGING UP CUSTOMERS...

FOR THE RECORD...

FOR ALL THE TALK OF OBAMA AND HIS "TELEPROMPTER..."

SERIOUSLY...SOMEONE GET GLENN BECK SOME HELP...

A CALLER DAMN NEAR MAKES GLENN BECK'S HEAD EXPLODE

WHEN CONSERVATIVES LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT (PART TWO)

WHEN CONSERVATIVES LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

HELLO THERE, STRANGER!

I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THE LOST SEASON FINALE...

THIS SUMS IT UP COMPLETELY

THE TIDE IS TURNING...

HAS IT ONLY BEEN 100 DAYS?!

WE GOTS A 60 VOTE MAJORITY NOW

IT'S ABOUT TIME OBAMA STARTS PLAYING HARDBALL

ADELE COVERS DYLAN...

I GOTS MYSELF TEABAGGED

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS ANY FUNNIER IF YOU TRIED

LISTEN IN AS THE WINGNUTS GATHER FOR TEA BAGGERY

WOODY HARRELSON IS MY HERO

WE'VE OFFICIALLY RAN OUT OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT...

ALL THIS POPULIST RAGE IS GREAT FOR RATINGS...

DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW WHAT "TEA BAGGING" REALLY MEANS?!

THE CONSERVATIVES HAVE LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS

OBAMA GONNA TAKE MY GUNS AWAY!!!

*** SQUISH!!! ***

GLENN BECK

COME GATHER 'ROUND ME, FELLOW NERDS

KATAMARI FOR THE PS3!!!

ENOUGH WITH THIS "TELEPROMPTER" BULLSHIT

* SQUISH!!! *