NEW MOVIE TRAILERS

How about something lighter than the sad news of my best friend getting shipped off to Iraq to lead us into the weekend? What's looking good from the land of Hollywood?!

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

The latest offering from the Coen Brothers looks extremely dark and brutal. It generated a lot of buzz at Cannes last month.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT

I really wasn't expecting much from this, but then I saw the trailer and read that the director did Hard Candy! One of the better horror movies released lately...yeah, I considered it "horror," screw you.

SUPERBAD

Seth Rogen's directoral debut looks to follow in Judd Apatow's footsteps.

FUCK THIS FUCKING WAR.

FUCK BUSH FOR GETTING US INVOLVED IN THIS DICK-MEASURING CONTEST IN THE FIRST PLACE.

FUCK RUMSFELD FOR STRETCHING THE MILITARY (ESPECIALLY THE ARMY) TO IT'S LIMITS AND FORCING THE OTHER DEPARTMENTS TO FILL IN.

FUCK EVERY SINGLE CONGRESSMAN (OR WOMAN) WHO REFUSE TO STAND UP AND DEMAND TO BRING OUR FIGHTING FORCES HOME. SURE, WE'RE GOING TO BE THERE FOR DECADES, BUT IT SHOULD BE A "PRESENCE" AND NOT AN "OCCUPATION."

My best friend Jon just got the notice that he's shipping off to Iraq this October. He's a NAVAL OFFICER, not a platoon leader in the god damn Army. He was responsible for the budget aboard aircraft carriers...now he's going to be protecting the Baghdad airport. It's not even considered inside the Green Zone. Which I never realized is FOUR FUCKING MILES. That's it. The only "safe" area of the entire country of Iraq is four lousy miles. Are we winning yet? Will Bush land on another aircraft when we're able to extend the Green Zone to eight miles? God, let's hope so.

THE SOPRANOS

Since everyone and their Mother is giving their two cents on the series finale, I might as well join in.

At first, when the screen just cut to black, I looked at Molly and asked, "What the fuck?!" Did our cable go out? Did our DVR mess up?! Is that how they decided to end the entire series?! Up come the credits and then came the phone calls.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!" My brother was a tad upset, "I WAITED EIGHT YEARS FOR THAT?!"
I tell him, "Yeah, I don't know how I feel about it. David Chase has pretty big balls to pull off an ending like that."
"FUCK THAT! I was hoping our satellite TV went out for a second..." He's seriously angry. "If we didn't have another season of The Wire, I'd cancel HBO right now!"

And you know, he has a point. Not that I'd ever actually cancel HBO, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that the ending of The Sopranos was a cop out. They knew for quite a while that this was going to be the last season. In fact they spread it out over two mini-seasons! What they left us with was a fucking "Choose Your Own Adventure."

I've read through the various posts on the usual message boards and how the major Hollywood reporters are responding and I guess I'm just in the "What a bunch of bullshit" camp.

You can over-analyze the final scene all you want. It's still incredibly tense and ultimately a let down. People have thrown out the comparison to John Sayles' LIMBO in that the screen just goes black at the most intense moment to let you make up your own mind. While that was a neat device for a somewhat okay movie, I don't want to make up my own mind when it comes to The Sopranos. It's not that type of show and the writers have been jerking us around for far too long to just end it with a "What happens next? You decide!"

Take the next-to-finale episode for example. The end shot was Tony falling asleep clutching an automatic weapon...leading you to believe a huge showdown was about to happen. I almost wish they would have just ended it then and there. Instead we get some lousy truce, too much time spent on AJ, and one dead body. Well, at least that's all they gave us, in my "ending" the guy walks out of the restroom with a bazooka and blew them all to Kingdom Come...Boy Scouts and all...

It at least would've been better than

ANOTHER SIGN THE CHURCH NEEDS TO LIGHTEN UP...

And that people need to get off the "all video games are evil" bandwagon:

LONDON (AP) - The Church of England accused Sony Corp. (SNE) on Saturday of using an English cathedral as the backdrop to a violent computer game and said it should be withdrawn from shop shelves.

The church said Sony did not ask for permission to use Manchester cathedral and demanded an apology.

The popular new PlayStation 3 game, "Resistance: Fall of Man," shows a virtual shootout between rival gunmen with hundreds of people killed inside the cathedral. Church officials described Sony's alleged use of the building as "sick" and sacrilegious.

A spokesman for the Church of England said a letter will be sent to Sony on Monday. If the church's request for an apology and withdrawal of the game is not met, the church will consider legal action, the spokesman said.

You know, not for nothing, but you're not "virtually shooting rival gunmen inside the cathedral." If the reporter actually knew what the fuck he was talking about, he'd know that the entire game is trying to rid the world of these Alien Monster Fucks and save humanity!





And everyone knows that when aliens invade, you need to fight them wherever they are (even churches) with giant lazer weapons! Teaching them the Bible ain't going to cut it.

"AMERICA'S PRINCESS DI"

(photo credit: Tom Ferris / Security-Protocols)

Say what you will about Paris Hilton, I could give a rat's ass about her...but her supporters (who knew they actually exsisted) are fucking awesome. I don't even think they're real. I'm sure the Hilton family hired some homeless people to stand outside the courthouse and chant "Free Paris" while holding giant banners that read "Let Her Live." (Is she getting the death penalty?!)

Look at these sad fuckers:

SIGH...

My friend Finn pointed this out to me. Someone is selling a box of mini comics on eBay and right there at the top left is Foxymoron #3. That came out back in 2002, I think. That's a collector's item! Like less than 100 of them puppies are out there. So far the highest bid is only up to $5.75...FOR THE WHOLE BOX!

Make Papa Fox proud and raise it up to at LEAST $6.00.

WITH ALL THE BAD SHIT GOING ON IN THE WORLD...

It's nice to know there are still news stories that can make your sides hurt from laughing so hard...

21 Year Old Man in Wheelchair Taken on Wild Ride!


His wheelchair got stuck in the grill of a semi-truck and he was pushed along the highway for four miles!

Seriously, this isn't a joke. Best part of the entire story is this bit:

“The man spilled his soda pop, but he wasn’t upset,” said Sgt. Kathy Morton of the Michigan State Police.

Less funny, but with the fact that he ended up without a scratch on him (but a spilled soda pop) it's okay to laugh at the 911 phonecalls. Dude, Jen needs to calm down.

AWESOME MUSIC ON LATE NIGHT TALK SHOWS

BRIGHT EYES * HOT KNIFES



LUCINDA WILLIAMS * EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

FROM THE "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S CREEPY" FILE...

MY NEW ADDICTION...

Google Map's STREET VIEW.

This is sooooooooo fucking insane and 1984-esque, but who cares...it's exactly what I envisioned the future bringing us! If I can't have hover boards, I'll take the ability to look 360 degrees down the streets of major cities!

Just click on that link, find the lil' guy there on the Las Vegas strip and move up and down the street turning the view with your mouse. There's five different cities at the moment, and more to come, I'm sure!