3.30.2007
CHOCOLATE JESUS
I totally agree that "My Sweet Lord" which is a life-size Jesus sculpture made out of chocolate is offensive and insulting to Christians. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go out and buy some non-insulting, Pro-Christian, innocently awesome (and delish!) Easter chocolate candy...
3.29.2007
ANOTHER SIGN WE MUST BE WINNING THE "WAR ON TERROR"
The Marines are going to kick you out if you get any more tattoos! Wow, so now I have TWO ways of not going to war if I'm drafted. Act gay and get a giant penis tattoo on my arm! Done and done...
3.27.2007
"...ANY DAY I'M HERE COULD BE THE DAY I DIE."
Go buy this week's issue of Newsweek. You have to, if only so that you can get a sense of how so many of our young people are sacrificing so much, while the rest of us go shopping. And hey, I'm right there alongside you.
This entire issue is about "The Iraq War in The Words of America's Dead."
This section of "Last Letters From Iraq" is enough to make you forget about the reasons we went to war and focus on the troops themselves. It'll tear your heart out, I promise.
FUCKING CANCER (PART 1,275)
Now Tony Snow's cancer has returned...
At least this photo I found of the White House Press Secretary from back in his talk radio days can brighten up my day a lil' bit...
Look at that goofy bastard! Surely he'll be able to beat it again, right?
At least this photo I found of the White House Press Secretary from back in his talk radio days can brighten up my day a lil' bit...
Look at that goofy bastard! Surely he'll be able to beat it again, right?
3.25.2007
BILL MAHER: TRAITORS DON'T GET TO QUESTION MY PATRIOTISM!
He was on fire this week:
"Just saying you're patriotic is like saying you have a big cock...if you have to say it, chances are it's not true."
"Just saying you're patriotic is like saying you have a big cock...if you have to say it, chances are it's not true."
3.23.2007
CHILDREN OF MEN DVD
Just a reminder that it comes out Tuesday. There's a nice li' interview with the director here. It sounds like he filmed a documentary specificly for the DVD's release about how we're headed down an eerie path similar to the one in the movie. (Except we're still having babies...for now.)
3.22.2007
LOST * THE MAN FROM TALAHASSEE (SPOILERS)
From the very first scene of Locke's flashback, you could tell this was going to be a very interesting episode...
The way they framed that scene of Locke talking to the woman in the Disability Office, with the question of if he was in or out of his wheelchair was a subtle, yet intriguing touch.
Kate, Locke and Sayid (oh, and the French Woman) went off to rescue Jack from The Others. They made it all the way to their "neighborhood" and were close to making their move until they spotted Jack...playing football with The Others? Laughing and smiling?! Perhaps he doesn't want to be rescued? Perhaps he just wants to play the piano?!
Kate ends up making her move, with Sayid playing guard...but Locke. Locke has his own motives. Locke wants Ben to tell him where The Others keep their submarine.
Soon we discover that Jack indeed doesn't want to be "rescued," It's been arranged that him and Juliet will be using the submarine and leaving the island within the hour! Well, they would be if Locke hadn't decided to load the sucker up with explosives and destroy it!
In the end, we learn that Alex thinks her Mother is dead. (She's not, she's actually the French Woman.) That The Others cannot leave the island since "the sky turn purple" (when Desmond blew up the Hatch) and that even if Jack and Juliet had left on the submarine, they never would have found the island again. Ben is constantly manipulating people into doing exactly what he wants them to do. (He actually was glad that Locke destroys the submarine and forces Jack and Juliet to remain on the island. We also learn about a "magic box" that creates "whatever you wish for." Locke had the best line in the entire show after Ben told him about the magic box. "Well, you better hope it's big enough for you to wish for a new submarine!"
But in the end, we learned exactly what happened that caused Locke to end up paralysed for four years before crashing (and being able to WALK?!) on the island. It wasn't pretty and pretty much sealed the deal that his Daddy is one evil mother fucker...
After trying to con yet another family, (Seriously, we all agree that Locke's Dad is the same "Sawyer" that used the con on Sawyer's family, right?) Locke confronts him in his high-rise apartment. Convinced that his Father has killed someone, he demands answers and wants to know why his Dad hasn't called off his phoney wedding to a Millionare. Locke's Father assures Locke that the wedding is called off and when Locke calls his bluff, he allows Locke to call her and confirm it for himself.
Just when Locke picks up the phone and asks, "What's her number?" his Dad rushing towards him fullspeed and pushes him out an 8 story window!!!
But the kicker, the thing that truly turns the blade deeper and just makes your gut go, "Nooooooooo waaaaaaaaaaay!!!" was the final scene. All captured, and being held hostage back at The Other's camp after Locke destroyed the submarine, Ben comes to Locke's cell. He explains to him that he needs to show him something. Perhaps something from the Magic Box? He opens up the door and sitting there, bound to a chair and gagged is The Man From Talahassee?! Locke's Father.
A much deeper explanation and insight is over here. I just loved this episode soooo much that I felt like I had to type something about it. Here's to next week!!!
The way they framed that scene of Locke talking to the woman in the Disability Office, with the question of if he was in or out of his wheelchair was a subtle, yet intriguing touch.
Kate, Locke and Sayid (oh, and the French Woman) went off to rescue Jack from The Others. They made it all the way to their "neighborhood" and were close to making their move until they spotted Jack...playing football with The Others? Laughing and smiling?! Perhaps he doesn't want to be rescued? Perhaps he just wants to play the piano?!
Kate ends up making her move, with Sayid playing guard...but Locke. Locke has his own motives. Locke wants Ben to tell him where The Others keep their submarine.
Soon we discover that Jack indeed doesn't want to be "rescued," It's been arranged that him and Juliet will be using the submarine and leaving the island within the hour! Well, they would be if Locke hadn't decided to load the sucker up with explosives and destroy it!
In the end, we learn that Alex thinks her Mother is dead. (She's not, she's actually the French Woman.) That The Others cannot leave the island since "the sky turn purple" (when Desmond blew up the Hatch) and that even if Jack and Juliet had left on the submarine, they never would have found the island again. Ben is constantly manipulating people into doing exactly what he wants them to do. (He actually was glad that Locke destroys the submarine and forces Jack and Juliet to remain on the island. We also learn about a "magic box" that creates "whatever you wish for." Locke had the best line in the entire show after Ben told him about the magic box. "Well, you better hope it's big enough for you to wish for a new submarine!"
But in the end, we learned exactly what happened that caused Locke to end up paralysed for four years before crashing (and being able to WALK?!) on the island. It wasn't pretty and pretty much sealed the deal that his Daddy is one evil mother fucker...
After trying to con yet another family, (Seriously, we all agree that Locke's Dad is the same "Sawyer" that used the con on Sawyer's family, right?) Locke confronts him in his high-rise apartment. Convinced that his Father has killed someone, he demands answers and wants to know why his Dad hasn't called off his phoney wedding to a Millionare. Locke's Father assures Locke that the wedding is called off and when Locke calls his bluff, he allows Locke to call her and confirm it for himself.
Just when Locke picks up the phone and asks, "What's her number?" his Dad rushing towards him fullspeed and pushes him out an 8 story window!!!
But the kicker, the thing that truly turns the blade deeper and just makes your gut go, "Nooooooooo waaaaaaaaaaay!!!" was the final scene. All captured, and being held hostage back at The Other's camp after Locke destroyed the submarine, Ben comes to Locke's cell. He explains to him that he needs to show him something. Perhaps something from the Magic Box? He opens up the door and sitting there, bound to a chair and gagged is The Man From Talahassee?! Locke's Father.
A much deeper explanation and insight is over here. I just loved this episode soooo much that I felt like I had to type something about it. Here's to next week!!!
FUCKING CANCER...
John Edwards' wife's Cancer has spread from her breast to her bone.
Somewhere Ann Coulter is thinking how she can make a punchline out of this.
Somewhere Ann Coulter is thinking how she can make a punchline out of this.
3.20.2007
THE NEVERENDING WAR.
If only this war had one of them awesome giant white flying dogs things...then, all would be swell. But since we're talking about make-believe hogwash, check out this quote from our beloved President on the fourth anniversary of the Iraq War:
"Four years after this war began, the fight is difficult, but it can be won," Bush said. "It will be won if we have the courage and resolve to see it through."
Isn't that nice. All we need is courage and resolve. Oh, and while we're at it, some magic pixie dust wouldn't hurt...
This reminds me of those "motivational speakers" that used to come to my grade school and middle school. You know, the ones that would fill your head with that, "If you work real hard, you can do ANYTHING you want!" Which sounds nice. But you know, I reeeeeeeally wanted to be a basketball player. I practiced all the damn time and hussled my ass off. But you know, after awhile I figured out that being 5'5" isn't going to cut it. I faced reality and gave that "Just dream and hope and pray real hard" bullshit out the window. You got to face the facts in life. You can't win everything and you sure as hell can't just ask for more "courage and resolve" in order to win a fucking war. Guess what Mr. President...YOU started this war and it's YOUR mess. Try and blame anyone you want for "cutting and running" or whatever other label you want to put on a withdraw. But after awhile, Americans get tired of seeing their young men and women come home without legs and arms and brain damage. Or even worse yet, dead.
I did this two years ago for a small college newspaper in Warrensburg, Missouri. I honestly thought this bullshit war would be over by now. Sadly, this comic is still as relevant today as it was back then.
"Four years after this war began, the fight is difficult, but it can be won," Bush said. "It will be won if we have the courage and resolve to see it through."
Isn't that nice. All we need is courage and resolve. Oh, and while we're at it, some magic pixie dust wouldn't hurt...
This reminds me of those "motivational speakers" that used to come to my grade school and middle school. You know, the ones that would fill your head with that, "If you work real hard, you can do ANYTHING you want!" Which sounds nice. But you know, I reeeeeeeally wanted to be a basketball player. I practiced all the damn time and hussled my ass off. But you know, after awhile I figured out that being 5'5" isn't going to cut it. I faced reality and gave that "Just dream and hope and pray real hard" bullshit out the window. You got to face the facts in life. You can't win everything and you sure as hell can't just ask for more "courage and resolve" in order to win a fucking war. Guess what Mr. President...YOU started this war and it's YOUR mess. Try and blame anyone you want for "cutting and running" or whatever other label you want to put on a withdraw. But after awhile, Americans get tired of seeing their young men and women come home without legs and arms and brain damage. Or even worse yet, dead.
I did this two years ago for a small college newspaper in Warrensburg, Missouri. I honestly thought this bullshit war would be over by now. Sadly, this comic is still as relevant today as it was back then.
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