TOP 10 TV SHOWS OF 2006!

10. HEROES
Sort of a poor man's "LOST." It's an interesting premise, but chooses style over substance. Molly loves it, I catch most of it here and there as I hurry to meet my deadlines for The Kansas City Star on Monday evenings. I think it's only gotten better since it's so-so season premere and certainly has a lot of promise, it just haven't got me "extremely excited" thus far.


9. COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
Normally I wouldn't include daily shows like Letterman or The Daily Show, but this is too damn important to leave off the list. If you want your news with hard hitting commentary and a touch of humor (and tongue in cheek Fox News bashing) you really need to check it out nightly on MSNBC at 7pm.


8. 30 DAYS
Only six episodes a season and it still packs more of a punch than most televison shows could even hope to accomplish. Taking the idea of Super Size Me and changing your daily life for 30 entire days, Morgan Spurlock uses this series to put people from different ends of the spectrum and puts them in each other's shoes. He took a Minuteman (the guys who guard the border and hate illegal immigrants) and forced him to live with a family of illegals out in Southern California. Took an Atheist and made her live with a family of Born Again Christians. And, for the season finale, spent 30 days locked up in prison. It's one of the few shows on TV that enlightens and entertains at the exact same time.


7. EXTRAS
No, it's not as good as The Office, but dammit if it ain't just as bittersweet. Ricky Gervais nails both humor and lonely loveless fools in yet another amazing series. Season two starts in a couple of weeks on HBO...try not to miss it this time!


6. STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
Entertainment Weekly listed this as one of the WORST shows of 2006. There's plenty of other critics that are throwing in the towel and leaving this series before it's first season is even finished. Listen, I understand that the sketches aren't funny, it's a tad too "important" at times, but the last few episodes before it went on hiatus were absolutely brilliant. Especially the Christmas episode! I love the characters, the view of behind the scenes of a television show, and dare I say it, the writing! Screw the critics, this is going to become one of the best shows on TV by the end of it's run.


5. BIG LOVE
I'll be honest...I didn't expect to like this one. I gave it a couple of episodes and felt kind of "meh." But Molly really enjoyed it and about four episodes in, it "clicked." Big Love runs at a different pace than normal shows. It doesn't have huge "events" or "twists and turns" like a lot of other HBO series...but it's damn good. It'll grow on you...and if you're lucky, your wife will totally let you bring home two other girls "to help love the Lord!"


4. THE OFFICE
I've said it before and I'll say it again...this wasn't supposed to be that good! We all know what happens when America tries to take BBC shows and destroy them...but dammit, the writers and actors have turned one of my favorite TV series of all time into a strong, yet different US comedy! It came sooooooo close to being a shit-canned 6 episode failure...then NBC gave it another chance, iTunes began selling episodes at a lightning pace and now it's the best comedy on TV! (Earl? Who's that?!)


3. LOST
Say what you will about the first six episodes earlier this year, but last season was fucking television at it's finest! The introducton of "Henry Gale" was exactly what this show needed. And even if almost all of the "Tailies" lasted all of about ten episodes, I think the rest of season three has plenty of tricks up it's sleeve!


2. 24
Five seasons and each gets even better than the last. If you've never gotten into this fast-paced, back to back new episodes with absolutely no repeats, show where anything can and will happen...you have no idea how amazing network television can truly be. This show is the greatest thing to ever come out of a silly idea. "Real time? 24 episodes with each one being an hour long?" Who knew that it would be handled with such care and intensity. I can't wait for the movie to come along and fuck everything up...


1. THE WIRE
So many different friends and family members told me to check out this show...so when my Comcast Cable had the entire season four OnDemand, I figured I'd give it a shot. Truly intense, riveting characters and one of the realest views of everything that happens within an inner city...The Wire is seriously the ONE SHOW you cannot miss. Above all others on this list, go rent the DVDs and get your ass educated! Best part, since each seasons starts with a new direction, you can pretty much jump in anywhwere and follow along at your own pace.

TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2006!

10. THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
This one wasn't "black comedy" enough for me. Sure, the scene above you have a man protecting the cigarette industry by telling an audience that it's in their best interests to keep this kid with Cancer alive and smoking...but overall I felt like it was missing it's "bite." Not a bad movie in the least, just wished it didn't hold back. Maybe the whole subplot with the kid ruined it for me...who knows.


9. WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?
Proved my point that Big Oil owns everything to do with the automobile industry...and kept Molly awake! So that's a win-win! You go into the movie not knowing much about the Electric Car (they were only LEASED to a select few in California) and leave with this sinking feeling that we might be closer to weening ourselves off foreign oil by now if we could've kept the pressure on the car companies. Also, I knew Cheney and Bush and Andy Card were all tied to the Oil Lobbies...but who knew Condi Rice was as well?! Just makes the case that the only "energy policy" we're going to get until 2008 is either "Coal" or "Drill the Fuck outta Alaska!"


8. FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
If "Letters From Iwo Jima had opened here this year, this wouldn't be on the list. It wasn't a bad movie...but from what I hear, Iwo Jima is everything this film was, only tighter and more precise. This one seems to have a heavy influence on narration and flashbacks. Plus, it tries to cover a ton of ground in not only showing you what happened on the island, but following the soliders back to their cilvian lives. It was an eye-opening look into what our country will do to boost morale. It's funny to think that we have alwasy been as sneaky and sloppy as we are now...it's just that shit was easier to manipulate back then.


7. V FOR VENDETTA
I loved this movie. I don't care if it was more action than story or didn't exactly follow the book. It was powerful and had some of the most breathtaking action sequences of the year. Oh, and bald chicks are hott.


6. WHY WE FIGHT
Every school should be forced to show this documentary to it's students. It's something that we need to get instilled into the brains of future generations...the notion of why we go to war and what can be done to prevent it. It's odd and yet satisfying that a former Army General turned President would use his last Address to the Nation to warn us of the Military Complex. That after defeating the Nazis in WWII, we wouldn't need to continue to build up our weaponary and military forces against an enemy that didn't exsist. And yet, that's exactly what we've done to this very day. This is easily my pick for "SEE IT NOW" compared to anything else on the list.


5. THE PRESTIGE
Nothing is worse that knowing a movie has a "trick ending" in store for you and just spending the entire movie trying to figure it out. Christopher Nolan has made a career out of making the type of films that have twists and turns and keep you so entralled that he manages to stay one step ahead. The Prestige is his latest masterpiece and was one of the best times I had all year inside of the movie theater. Every single performance was perfect, and you know you're in for a treat when David Bowie just shows up as dessert! The entire film is one giant magic trick where everything is right in front of your eyes and yet the slight of hand deceives you right up until the final frame.


4. UNITED 93
Here's a film that everyone needs to see and that no one wants to. It made a tiny dent in the box office and every person I reccomended the film to gave me the, "Eh, I don't think I can watch that." face. It's shot like a documentary, has nobody actors, uses a lot of real life people to play themselves, and stays with you long after the movie is over. Fuck Alan Jackson, watch this film and make sure you "haven't forgotten."


3. THE DEPARTED
Saw this with my buudy Jon a couple months ago. We both were "eh" about buying tickets for it. Nothing screamed "you have to see this!" and honestly, if there had been anything else that would've caught our eyes, we probably would have skipped it. But luckily, we sat down and saw what will probably win Best Picture of the Year. It has plenty of twists and turns and great acting throughout the entire thing. But most of all, it has that "bite" that Thank You For Smoking was lacking. This movie pulls no punches. It's loud, it's messy, and god damn is it violent. You see more headshots and blood splatter here than your average horror film. It's exactly the type of movie that Scorsese needed to make to ensure he gets his fucking Oscar. Or else, expect him to shoot some mother fuckers in their god damn cake holes.


2. BORAT
What can I even say about this one? Sasha Baron Cohen is our Andy Kaufman and this is his masterpiece. The fact that this even got made, became a phenomenon, and shed some light under America's underbelly is enough to make my head spin. I have never laughed longer or harder in a movie theater...ever. I can only imagine the amazing DVD that we get to look forward to in a couple months!


1. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
The little movie that could. Yeah, it's ending was a lil' letdown, but the adventure that got us there was worth every penny. The best ensemble in recent memory captured on screen combined with a fresh idea for a "road picture" made this my favorite film of the year. It was so simple, so touching, so amazing in every sense of the word. It made you cherish your family, no matter how fucked up they may be.

MOVIES THAT WE DIDN"T GET TO SEE YET SINCE WE LIVE IN A COWTOWN: (therefore didn't make the list)
* PAN'S LABYRINTH
* THE GOOD GERMAN
* CHILDREN OF MEN
* LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA

FILM I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SEE, BUT COULDN'T FIND THE TIME BEFORE IT ALREADY LEFT THE THEATERS:
*THE FOUNTAIN

WORST WASTES OF FILM (and my time) OF THE YEAR: (tie)
* LADY IN THE WATER...wow. What the fuck was that about?! Rented it for free and still wanted my money back.
* ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL...seriously...was good up until the "murder mystery" bullshit.

FINAL EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!

This was a Christmas promo piece over in the UK for The Simpsons from back in 2004. So either watch it here or wait for the Season 12 DVD set like three years from now...your choice, sucker!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #5

A great piece of commentary about the hypocrisies between the evangelical preachers on TV and the real meaning of Christmas (and Christ.)

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #4

I know most of these are from Saturday Night Live, but this is really one of my all-time favorites. It aired just a few short months after 9-11, and still packs a punch to this very day. We all needed this...BADLY.


THE NARRATOR WHO RUINED CHRISTMAS

OCEAN'S THIRTEEN!

New poster and teaser. Sweeeeeet!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #3

Old Saturday Night Live sketch with Matt Foley as a Mall Santa. This was easily my most cherished period of the show, from waaaaaay back when I was in Middle School. Early 90's SNL and The Simpsons truly formed my entire sense of humor. And man, I still really miss Chris Farley...

OUR GENUIS OF A PRESIDENT...

...is going to increase the size of the Army. Didn't Eisenhower warn us about this shit? I mean, who's the big evil empire we're up against now? The USSR? China? Iran? Cause it better not be the terrorists, because Iraq has made us safer!!! Don't you fuckers remember?! You only told it to us about 50 billion times!!!

...it all reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer and Chief Wiggum and others are digging a giant hole and getting deeper and deeper. Suddenly you hear Chef Wiggum shout, "Dig up, STUPID!"

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #2

This one is from South Park's Mr. Hankey's Christmas Special from a few years back. Santa and Jesus are singing each other's songs in some jazz bar when Santa ends up getting pissed because there's tons of songs about Jesus and just a handful about him. Plus the lil' Duran Duran bit he does is extra nice...

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #1

Every day this week, I'm going to post something that I hope will help get you into the Christmas Spirit! Today's comes from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live. It's really, really funny and actually makes me like Justin Timberlake...maybe because Timbaland had nothing to do with it...or did he?!

And keep an open mind at the begining, because I was thinking to myself, "Wow, this could be extremely lame" right before rolling around in laughter!


(Not safe for work...probably)