12.31.2005

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Remember to put your EXTRA SECOND to good use...

12.29.2005

HOPE THIS CHEERS YOU UP...

I posted a TON of photos on my Flickr account tonight. Including my own version of the Office Olympics stolen from THE OFFICE and lots of Christmas photos.

Enjoy, won't you?!

12.28.2005

I GET MORE WORK!

kc star party6

I guess going and kissing some Kansas City Star Editor Butt down at George Brett's last Thursday paid off?! They were having a lil' party for all the people who helped put the KISS & TELL dating series together and while there, David Frese, Preview Editor and Lord of the Dance, asked if I could come up with something for a "predictions in 2006" thing for the opening page of this Thursday's Preview section. Of course I told him, "Hell no!" But after he got me drunk off two wine coolers, I changed my mind and told him I'd not only do it, but it would be in color AND somewhat funny!!! Anyway, you can be the judge of that last part...

2006

12.25.2005

KATAMARI T-SHIRTS!!!

Merry Christmas!!! If I could, I would buy these for you.

12.23.2005

NEW MOVIE TRAILERS

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2

APOCALYPTO

AMERICAN DREAMZ

BUBBLE

MARIE ANTOINETTE

I reeeeeally want to see most of these. Except for Mel Gibson's APOCALYPTO. That's just...odd?! AMERICAN DREAMZ looks like it could be fun. But THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, PIRATES, BUBBLE and MARIE ANTONINETTE are must sees.

12.18.2005

NEW POSTAL SERVICE!!!

Yes, it's only one track, but I'll take what I can get...

GIMME GIMME GIMME!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF EARTH



Thanks to Jamie, I was able to get my hands on the new STROKES album before it's release date on the 3rd of January. It's damn good. Most of the tracks seem to be about love coming and going and all the fun times it brings along with it...oh, and the shitty, fucked up things too.

They seem to be evolving and tightening their sound as well. Pick it up in a few weeks...you won't be disapointed.

12.11.2005

SURVIVOR FINALE COMMENT

Anyone else miss the way Jeff used to take the results and head off jetskiing onto a boat then into a helicopter which he parachutes out of and lands on a motorcycle then jumps that off a cliff while on fire and crashes into the TV Studio live for the finale?!

All within three mintues and yet, at the same time, three months pass?!

I do.

This whole helicopter landing on the roof shit is lame. I want my reality TV "IN MY FACE" and "CRANKED UP A NOTCH!"

So next year Jeff, don't be a pussy and swim the results to us off the island...with a tiger on your back. Bitch.

12.08.2005

TV TIDBITS...

First off, all my SURVIVOR brothers and sisters, can we please agree that JUDD is the biggest babyhead of all time?! I'm sooooo glad there's only one episode left so I don't have to watch his "but but...I never lied to anyone" lameness on the jury any longer. You know he's writing down the "final remarks" speech that's going to make Susan's "I'm batshit crazy" speech look tame. And by "he's writing" I of course mean, "CBS Producers." C'mon, that show is more scripted than The West Wing.

Next up, can we quit with the "LAST NEW EPISIODE UNTIL MID JANUARY" bullshit?! It's 2005, there's no need for reruns. If I miss an episode, I'll buy your overpriced DVD collection, thank you very much. (Or off of iTunes...now with The Office!!!) Now quit teasing me and show me TWO NEW EPISODES BACK TO BACK for a damn change! Say what you will about 24, but I love the fact that they hold off on their season UNTIL January and then show all 24 episodes back to back. THAT'S what I'm talking about. I love LOST, but making me wait 6 fucking weeks in between episodes is just cruel. And don't even get Molly started on PRISON BREAK. Off until MARCH?! Who at FOX thought that was a good idea?!

A big "THANK YOU" goes out to NBC, who is giving two of it's best shows (MY NAME IS EARL & THE OFFICE) a new Thursday night timeslot. Guess what, no one is going to miss JOEY. And that's because no one even knows it's still on in the first place.

A big "FUCK YOU" goes out to FOX for canceling ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Yes, this is old news, but I'm still pissed about it. If ABC finds a way to keep FREDDIE on the air, surely FOX can suck it up and realize that smart TV will always have a place on...um...TV. C'mon, you fucking brought back FAMILY GUY, since when do you know anything about good comedy?! (I can sense the daggers coming closer...and yet I still love you all. Even if you're dead wrong. :)

I'll leave you with this. Who in their right minds thought The Office would be this good? C'mon, admit it, when you read America was going to take a shot at it, you instantly thought "Oooooh, another Coupling?!" But you were wrong! We all were wrong! They deserve the best timeslot on TV. With AD dead, it's our only hope of intelligent comedy on TV. Plus you have to love the online extra cool stuff like Holiday Ecards and all the photos (most anyway) taken from the Christmas Party episode. http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/

FINAL BEST OF YEAR MUSIC PICK...


DAVID GRAY * LIFE IN SLOW MOTION
How in the bloody hell I left this one off the list is beyond me. This album has a special kind of feel to it. It takes me right out of a depressed mood and lifts me into that "Land of Chocolate" place that Homer Simpson loved so much. I've loved David Gray's work for quite some time, A CENTURY ENDS is one of my all-time-favorites, but this latest album is damn good. I do long for more of a "striped down and acoustic" approach, but while he's at the top of his game, why not go with the clean studio sound? Standout tracks include the entire damn album...oh okay, at least check out "Slow Motion" and "Now and Always."

On a side note, iTunes just released a "David Gray iTunes Originals" album with new recordings of classic songs as well as some interesting chats behind some of the song's meanings a couple weeks ago. If you're a David Gray fanatic like myself, you should really go download it.

IF YOU LOVE RICKY GERVAIS...

You'll love this.

BESIDES BEING SICK...

I've posted a few photos from Kelley Seda's latest gallery...
foxy
and pictures of the craziest snow storm I've ever seen...
SNOW!
over at my Flickr account.

Seriously. It's snowed for the last 24 hours...for most of the day it's been nothing but a light dusting, but it only seemed to stick to the roads and NOT the grass?!

12.04.2005

BEST OF THE YEAR: MUSIC

Yeah, it's that time of year again, where you have to sit down and make up a list of what you thought were the "BEST OF THE YEAR" in music and TV and movies and blah blah blah...and don't act like you don't. It's the fucking law, dammit.

Anyway, there are still a few movies I've yet to see (SYRIANA, KING KONG, MUNICH) so the movie one will have to wait, but I'm pretty sure I've gotten all the music I needed for 2005 thus far, so without further ado...

MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2005!!!
(some of these might not have come OUT in 2005, but since I bought them this year, they count so shut it...)


DAVE MATHHEWS BAND * WEEKEND ON THE ROCKS
True, this DID just come out like a week ago, but it's got a lot of decent tracks on there. The version of "Stolen Away on 55th and 3rd" alone is worth the price of the album. Plus, you get 2 CDs and 1DVD all for under $15. Not too shabby. I know some of you are holding your noses going, "Ew, Dave Maaaaaaaathews?!" But if you haven't listened to any of his albums or ONLY heard the shit singles that have been overplayed on the radio, you might want to give this live record a shot. They do an amazing cover of The Zomibes "Time of the Season" and have plenty of old favorites like "Say Goodbye" on there as well.


JOSE GONZALEZ * VENEER
This is a case of falling in love with a song on a mix CD and buying the entire album because of it. I love that...when it works out. When you end up buying the whole album and then discover the ONE SONG was all that was decent...that sucks. Luckily Jose Gonzalez is truly talented and VENEER is one of my favorite picks of the year. It's so simple and spacous and quiet. Elliot Smith without the feeling of "Man, this guy is fucking depressed." Go download songs like "Heartbeats" or "Crosses" off iTunes and you'll be forced to buy the whole thing too. Suckers.


SLEATER KINNEY * THE WOODS
This one is tied for my absolute favorite record of the year. It's flawless. It's so full of energy and rawness...I love every second of it! These girls are ROCK GODS. If this world was fair, High School girls would laugh Kelly Clarkson and Ashlee Simpson and their "rawkness" off the airwaves and worship real women rockers. They don't take any shit, have an amazing sense of style and attitude and best of all, DON'T SUCK! I dare you to listen to "Rollercoaster" and not fall in love. This is a must buy, folks.


SPOON * GIMME FICTION
Another band that just keeps getting better. This one is nearly flawless. I have a feeling their next album will be the greatest thing ever. Songs like "I Summon You" are signs of something big around the corner. You can't write songs that catchy unless you're planning on taking over the world. You all have been warned.


LUCINDA WILLIAMS * LIVE AT THE FILLMORE
Another perfect live album. Okay the Dave Matthews one isn't perfect, but this one is damn close. True, a lot of the songs selected here are "later-album-heavy" but c'mon, they're still damn good people! Lucinda is just the ragged, worn down voice you need at the end of a hard day's work. Or whenever you get the feeling to have a "tear in your beer." You cannot escape the saddness of songs like "Lonely Girls" or "Blue" or "Those Three Days" and honestly, you wouldn't want to. These are such powerful, raw, and emotional songs of getting your heart broken...you might just want to end your own relationship just so you can shout "PREACH IT SISTER!" to the cd player.


MIKE DOUGHTY * HAUGHTY MELODIC
I was always a big SOUL COUGHING fan, so when they broke up in 1998, I was skeptical if anything they ever released solo would match the effort they were able to produce as a group. Mike has not only outdone himself with his debut on a major label, but I really enjoy this approach more than the "Hip Crazy Noises in the Background Thing" that Soul Couching made famous. Just use a guitar and some sweet lyrics and I'll be happy. Songs like "Sunken Eyed Girl" do just that.


NINE INCH NAILS * WITH TEETH
It took many listens before I fully appreciated this album. I must admit, at first listen, I was like "This is it?!" But now I can listen to the entire thing straight through and enjoy it. REEEEEEALLY enjoy it. Sure it's not nearly as heavy as "WITH TEETH" makes it sound, but that's cool. It takes some chances. It uses restraint. It builds up and strips down the sounds all within a single song. You can't truly get a read on what direction Trent was wanting to take this record. And I like that. Songs like "Only" take me all the way back to PRETTY HATE MACHINE and I can't wait to see where he takes us next.


BRIGHT EYES * I'M WIDE AWAKE, IT'S MORNING
Such an amazing record. I must have listened to this thing like 50 times this year. I love everything about it.


CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH
tied with SLEATER-KINNEY for record of the year. I've listened to this one the most, but dammit, I love my rocker chicks. This thing just hit me like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere I hear "In This Home On Ice" and I'm instantly hooked. Some might say they're just a freakier version of The Talking Heads, but I don't care. They're hypnotic and I can't quit listening to the sounds they make. Easily the one CD I cannot take out of my car. It's a damn shame the thing is only 30 minutes long too...I barely can get to work that fast and have to relisten to a track or two over again. Someone tell them to make the next one 40 minutes...you heard me...

And there you have it. I'm sure I left a few things off here and there, but off the top of my head and glancing through iTunes, this is what I came up with. I'm interested in seeing your picks. And listening to Jamie shit all over mine.

11.30.2005

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WISH!

Although to be fair, the study doesn't mention comic artists and I'm not exactly in the same league as Picasso or Dylan...

Creativity Linked to Sexual Promiscuity
Researchers Find Artists Have More Sexual Partners

LONDON (Nov. 29) - Pablo Picasso, Lord Byron and Dylan Thomas had more in common than simple creativity. They also had active sex lives, which researchers said on Wednesday was no coincidence.

Psychologists at the University of Newcastle upon Tyne and the Open University in Britain found that professional artists and poets have about twice as many partners as other people.

Their creativity seems to act like a sexual magnet.

But Dr. Daniel Nettle, a psychologist at Newcastle University's School of Biology, said it is a double-edge sword.

"Poets and artists have more sexual partners but they also have high rates of depression," he told Reuters.

Nettle and his colleague Helen Clegg questioned 425 British men and women, including professional artists, poets and schizophrenic patients, about their creative activity, sexual encounters and mental health characteristics.

Although creative people have long been associated with active sex lives, the researchers believe their study is the first to back it up with research.

They found that professional artists and poets had between 4 and 10 sexual partners, while less creative people had an average of three.

...eeeek. I'm not even AVERAGE?! Read the whole thing here:
http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20051129190809990013&ncid=NWS00010000000001

11.28.2005

HOW 'BOUT THEM APPLES?!

Chiefs 26
Patriots 16

This is for a couple of people. One of which was this guy who came into our new shop on Friday with this Boston accent asking me, "WHICH WAY TO THE PISSAH?!"

God made "r's" for a reason, how about you use them?! :P

11.27.2005

GO HOME HIPPIES!!!

I've felt under the weather lately and have slept more this weekend than I can remember sleeping in a looooong time, but this morning I was reading an article about the anti-war protests going on down at Bush's ranch and came upon this picture...which at least made me smile...



It's truly the little things in life that can get you right out of a funk...

11.26.2005

NEWD PHOTOS...wait a sec...

I just posted a bunch of photos from the past couple of days over on my FLICKR account.

Enjoy, won't you?

11.23.2005

THE DENIAL TWIST

Boy, them White Stripes sure make some good videos. Oh, them AND Michel Gondry...

11.17.2005

BUSH WAS RIGHT!!!

Oh man...this is funny...and sad. At the same time.

11.15.2005

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY...

Today I bought:


Disc: 1
1. Misunderstood
2. Company in My Back
3. The Late Greats
4. Hell Is Chrome
5. Handshake Drugs
6. I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
7. Shot in the Arm
8. At Least That’s What You Said
9. Wishful Thinking
10. Jesus, Etc.
11. I’m the Man Who Loves You
12. Kicking Television

Disc: 2
1. Via Chicago
2. Hummingbird
3. Muzzle of Bees
4. One by One
5. Airline to Heaven
6. Radio Cure
7. Ashes of American Flags
8. Heavy Metal Drummer
9. Poor Places
10. Spiders (Kidsmoke)
11. Comment


1. American Idiot
2. Jesus of Suburbia
3. Holiday
4. Are We The Waiting
5. St. Jimmy
6. Longview
7. Hitchin' A Ride
8. Brain Stew
9. Jaded
10. Knowledge
11. Basket Case
12. She
13. King For A Day
14. Shout
15. Wake Me Up When September Ends
16. Minority
17. Maria
18. Boulevard of Broken Dreams
19. We Are the Champions
20. Good Riddence

11.10.2005

SUPERMAN RETURNS

Website is up. (I know, I'll sound the Nerd Patrol alarm on myself) But c'mon, with pics like these and a trailer hitting theaters next week with Harry Potter, you must admit, even you are a tad interested...right?!

DEAD MAN WALKING

This is one of my favorite soundtracks of all time and the concert looks amazing! Look at all those Tom Waits performances!!!

'Dead Man Walking' Reborn With Live DVD
November 10, 2005, 12:00 AM ET

Jonathan Cohen, N.Y. www.billboard.com
Columbia/Legacy has set a Feb. 7 release date for an expanded edition of the soundtrack to the film "Dead Man Walking," first issued in 1996. The new edition features a previously unreleased studio version of "Dead Man" recorded last year by Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder; the song was written for the original soundtrack but wound up instead as the B-side to the Pearl Jam single "Off He Goes."

"Dead Man Walking" features contributions from Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, Johnny Cash, Patti Smith and Vedder with Pakistani vocalist Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, among others. It will be bolstered with a DVD taped at Not in Our Name: Dead Man Walking -- The Concert, which was held March 29, 1998, at Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium.

That show was highlighted by performances from Vedder and Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament, Ani DiFranco, Lyle Lovett, Waits and Earle. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan had passed away between the release of the soundtrack and the concert, so his vocal parts on "The Long Road" and "The Face of Love" were sung live by his nephew, Rahat.

Susan Sarandon won the best actress Oscar for her portrayal of Sister Helen Prejean in "Dead Man Walking," on which her book of the same name was based. Springsteen's title track was nominated for best original song.

Here is the track list for "Dead Man Walking: Legacy Edition":

Disc one:
"Dead Man Walking," Bruce Springsteen
"In Your Mind," Johnny Cash
"Woman on the Tier (I'll See You Through)," Suzanne Vega
"Promises," Lyle Lovett
"The Face of Love," Eddie Vedder and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
"The Fall of Troy," Tom Waits
"Quality of Mercy," Michelle Shocked
"Dead Man Walking (A Dream Like This)," Mary Chapin Carpenter
"Walk Away," Tom Waits
"Ellis Unit One," Steve Earle
"Walkin' Blind," Patti Smith
"The Long Road," Eddie Vedder and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

Disc two (DVD, taped March 29, 1998):
"Ellis Unit One," Steve Earle
"Promises," Lyle Lovett
"L.A. County," Lyle Lovett
"Lungs," Lyle Lovett with Steve Earle
"Crime for Crime," Ani DiFranco
"Up up up up up up," Ani DiFranco
"Fuel," Ani DiFranco
"Walk Away," Tom Waits
"Gun Street," Tom Waits
"The Fall of Troy," Tom Waits
"Goin' Out West," Tom Waits
"Yesterday Is Here," Tom Waits
"Trouble," Eddie Vedder
"Dead Man Walking," Eddie Vedder with Jeff Ament
"The Long Road," Vedder, Ament, Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Dilder Hussein, John Densmore, David Robbins
"The Face of Love," Vedder, Ament, Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Dilder Hussein, John Densmore, David Robbins
"The Ballad of Billy Austin," Steve Earle

LIES LIES LIES!!!

Great videos from Crooks and Liars to start off your Thursday.

Hardball examines the lies that drove the country into war.

Poor Scotty can't get the press to quit asking tough questions.

11.07.2005

DON'T FORGET...


Tomorrow bitches...it's on!

There's a limited edition with BONUS TRACKS too...so keep an eye out.

Tracklisting:
1. Oh Mary
2. Hell Yeah
3. Captain Of A Shipwreck
4. Evermore
5. Save Me A Saturday Night
6. Delirious Love
7. I'm On To You
8. What's It Gonna Be
9. Man Of God
10. Create Me
11. Face Me
12. We
13. Men Are So Easy (Bonus track)
14. Delirious Love- with Brian Wilson (Bonus track )

OLD STRIPS...

Since it's a Monday and I'm feeling "blah" I'll just toss up some old strips I did for The Kansas City Star. Enjoy.



11.05.2005

MUNICH

Spielberg's latest. Dammit, here I just talked about already seeing the movie of the year. I totally forgot about this one.

11.04.2005

CROOKS & LIARS

Such an amazing website. They always have the bset clips and soundbytes before The Daily Show and others present them to the larger masses. Some great ones of late...

Chuckle McPresidente' on his trip to a different kind of Southern America took some questions from reporters. How much you wanna bet they ask him about Karl Rove and the current scandal?! Oh, and please keep on smirking and dancing around the answers...it's worked SO FUCKING WELL thus far.

Dick Morris gets his ass handed to him by a talk show host who stands up to his taunts and childish name calling.

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.

Best film of the year. True, I haven't seen about two months worth of future releases, but I seriously doubt any of them will take the crown from this wonderful motion picture.

Everything about it is simply perfection. The length, the dialogue, the camera angles, the actors, the beautiful jazz numbers, everything. George Clooney has outdone himself. Actors aren't supposed to make movies this good. It makes other directors who SHOULD make films as powerful as this look amateurish. This is Clooney's SECOND film. God knows what he has up his sleeve next, but I'm sure as hell going to be there.

The idea of Edward Murrow going after Joseph McCarthy in a black & white film with basically a single set must have made some studios sweat and squirm. "Is this guy crazy?! No one wants to see that?!" And it's funny, because a quick glance at the current Box Office, you'd think that the studios were right.

To date, the film has only made a little over $7 MILLION. Which in this day and age, it's like chump change compared to the Summer Blockbusters. But a closer look reveals that it's only showing on 272 screens. Compare that with Elizabethtown, which is being shown on 2,137 screens. Elizabethtown is averaging $10,622 per screen and Good Luck, & Good Night is averaging $26,615 per screen. That's mighty impressive. But of course 90% of those are Pinko Liberal Freaks...

That's the oddest thing about the film. So much of the smear attacks and beating your opponent with name calling instead of the truth, the tactics used by McCarthy, are still found today. The major difference is that no ONE person is as intimidating and powerful as McCarthy was. (It's still funny to watch actual footage of McCarthy going after people for being members of the ACLU and wondering to yourself, "Is this where Bill O'Rielly got his ideas?!")

I just cannot even tell you how good this movie is. I tried to explain it to Molly and felt like I was just rambling. Trust me, you need to see this film. America needs to see this film. You will absolutely love it.

11.03.2005

MIKE BROWN'S EMAILS...

So fucking funny. Oh, only if thousands of people weren't trapped and feeling like they were dying of starvation and dehydration when he was writing these emails...THEN it would be so fucking funny!

But...read them. He's one of the worst stains on the President's record. Man oh man, that guy isn't good at picking people for high ranking positions. Good thing he isn't picking anything important lately...oh...wait...

*****
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A Louisiana congressman says e-mails written by the government's emergency response chief as Hurricane Katrina raged show a lack of concern for the unfolding tragedy and a failure in leadership.

Rep. Charlie Melancon, whose district south of New Orleans was devastated by the hurricane, posted a sampling of e-mails written by Federal Emergency Management chief Michael Brown on his Web site on Wednesday.

The lawmaker cited several e-mails that he said show Brown's failures. In one, as employees looked for direction and support on the ravaged Gulf Coast, Brown offered to "tweak" the federal response.

Two days after Katrina hit, Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that "the situation is past critical" and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome.

Brown's entire response was: "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?"
*****

11.01.2005

OH FIFFY...

Sorry, I saw this and felt like I had to talk about it...

*****
50 CENT SLAMS KANYE'S 'BUSH IS RACIST' COMMENT

Rapper 50 CENT has lashed out at fellow hip-hop star KANYE WEST for accusing US President GEORGE W BUSH of racism in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

The IN DA CLUB star believes human intervention could not have prevented the effects of the hurricane, which killed over a thousand people in the US gulf states in August (05), and sees no point in reprimanding the President for something which was beyond his control.

He says, "The New Orleans disaster was meant to happen. It was an act of God.

"I think people responded to it the best way they can.

"What KANYE WEST was saying, I don't know where that came from."
*****
Two things.

#1. Does 50 realize this shit all happened like TWO MONTHS AGO?! What the fuck is the point of bringing this up NOW?! Someone hurry...find out what he thinks of the Red Sox winning the World Series!!!

#2. Is "What KANYE WEST was saying, I don't know where that came from." REALLY slamming Kayne West?! I mean, whoa boy! Them's fightin' words!

JESUS OF SUBURBIA

Green Day makes good videos.

WILL SOMEONE BUY BILL FRIST AN IRONY MACHINE?!

Cause his seems to be broken...

******
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Democrats forced the Republican-controlled Senate into an unusual closed session Tuesday, questioning intelligence that led to the Iraq war and deriding a lack of congressional inquiry.

"I demand on behalf of the America people that we understand why these investigations aren't being conducted," Democratic leader Harry Reid said.

Taken by surprise, Republicans derided the move as a political stunt.

"The United States Senate has been hijacked by the Democratic leadership," said Majority Leader Bill Frist. "They have no convictions, they have no principles, they have no ideas," the Republican leader said.
******

Um, Billy...you're currently under investigation for pulling a MARTHA STEWART and selling stock before it tanked. You tried diagnosing a brain dead woman from Washington DC while she lay in a bed in Florida. You're also a cocknocker.

Leave the dumbass comments to Tom DeLay or Trent Lott...they're much better at it.

**Update! www.crooksandliars.com has a great piece of footage from CNN.

10.29.2005

DATING STRIP #4

I'm not doing a very good job of keeping up to date with pimping myself. I guess that's why I still don't have a comic book published yet. Anyway, here's the latest strip.

Sunday (tomorrow) #5 will be online here. (scroll down, sucker.)

WOW...THAT'S A LOT OF LYING...

Seriously...FIVE COUNTS?! That's like 30 years in prison. Poor bastard. I can't imagine going to jail with a name like "Scooter." They gonna have all sorts of fun with you...

Anyway, I was sick yesterday and caught glimpses of news reports here and there, but online there are tons of people following the case with humor and amazing analysis.

Huffington Post

Daily Kos

Atrios

The Washington Note

10.25.2005

TOO LATE, SUCKERS...

Hey America,

How fucking fickle are you for changing your mind less than a year later?! This was your boy! Your "straight shooter," your "national hero" who was going to bring "honor and integrity" back to the White House. He got results, unlike that KERRY pussy. Who could trust that war hero?! Terrorists...that's who!

Anyway, it's too fucking late to change your mind now. You get the bastard for three more years. Have fun! (Oh, and to all of you assholes who can't remove the Bush-Cheney 04 stickers off your car...do us all a favor and get your ass over to Iraq since you're soooo proud of your decision. I hear they could use the help.)

Love,
~Travis.

(CNN) -- A majority would vote for a Democrat over President Bush if an election were held this year, according to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll released Tuesday.

In the latest poll, 55 percent of the respondents said that they would vote for the Democratic candidate if Bush were again running for the presidency this year.

Thirty-nine percent of those interviewed said they would vote for Bush in the hypothetical election.

The latest poll results, released Tuesday, were based on interviews with 1,008 adults conducted by telephone October 21-23.

In the poll, 42 percent of those interviewed approved of the way the president is handling his job and 55 percent disapproved. In the previous poll, released October 17, 39 percent approved of Bush's job performance -- the lowest number of his presidency -- and 58 percent disapproved.

However, all the numbers are within the poll's sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points, so it's possible that the public's opinion has not changed at all.

More than half, 57 percent, said they don't agree with the president's views on issues that are important to them, while 41 percent said their views are in alignment with those of Bush on important issues.

10.24.2005

Dating Strip #3

Enjoy.

NEXT UP, 51% OF AMERICANS THINK THUNDER IS ACTUALLY "GOD BOWLING."

Please...wake me up when people aren't so fucking stupid. It's like, we started to make progress with people thinking, "Maybe the war in Iraq IS a bad idea?!" Then they all get decide to get together and come up with, "But Evolution...THAT'S a lie, right?!!!"

Sigh.

From CBS news

NEW YORK (Oct. 23) - Most Americans do not accept the theory of evolution. Instead, 51 percent of Americans say God created humans in their present form, and another three in 10 say that while humans evolved, God guided the process. Just 15 percent say humans evolved, and that God was not involved.

10.23.2005

MORE LEAKED STROKES...

I'm sure I'm like weeks late with this shit, but having a Mac and a 56K connection, I only search for this when I'm over at Molly's parents house. So nyah! :P



Here's where you can download 5 of the songs leaked thus far.

Juicebox
You Only Live Once
Razor Blade
15 Minutes Of Pain
The Other Side

I think "You Only Live Once" is my favorite right now. It seems like a lot of people are bashing the tracks, but honestly none strike me as "OMG THEY SUX NOW!!11" But like any band who starts out small and then sells tons of records, the "cool kids" are going to turn on you. Lemme be the first to go ahead and start the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah bashing...cause you KNOW that second album is going to suck! They sold out man! Fuck those guys.

10.21.2005

WHAT THE FUCK?!



NAZI OLSEN TWINS?!

Sometimes I think we have too much freedom.
(and no...this ISN'T a joke...)

NEW MUSIC MADNESS

Coming out Tuesday:


A collection of sketches from his AIR AMERICA show. I don't get a chance to listen to it as often as I'd like, so I enjoy picking up these collections. Plus, how can you pass up that cover?!

tracklist:
1. Senator Wolfman (features Meg Ryan)
2. Do You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?
3. Yelling Idiots Author (features Bebe Neuwirth)
4. Nigel Chesley in Iraq
5. Central Guesswork Agency
6. Interview with Yassir Arafat's Pillow
7. Cry Baby Politician (features Bradley Whitford)
8. The Bush Twins Enlist
9. Bill O'Reilly's Tales of Combat
10. Post-Election Audio Crawl
11. Abstinence Only Education (features Tina Fey)
12. Republican Actress (features Meg Ryan and Rob Reiner)
13. Father Guido Sarducci Announces the New Pope (features Don Novello)
14. The PTLTGIF Club


I hope this is good. It's always risky with these "various artists" releases, but I'll take my chances. I mean, at least the songs themselves are good, right?! I LOVE "In My Life." If Ben Lee screws that song up, I'll hunt him down and kill him with MY rubber sole. (you like that?!)

tracklist:
1. Drive My Car - The Donnas
2. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) - The Fiery Furnaces
3. You Won't See Me - Dar Williams
4. Nowhere Man - Low
5. Think for Yourself - Yonder Mountain String Band
6. The Word - Mindy Smith
7. Michelle - Ben Harper
8. What Goes On - Sufjan Stevens
9. Girl - Rhett Miller
10. I'm Looking Through You - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists
11. In My Life - Ben Lee
12. Wait - Ben Kweller
13. If I Needed Someone - Nellie McKay
14. Run for Your Life - Cowboy Junkies

Today I picked up this single:

It's funny and making fun of "Do They Know It's Christmas," but it also benefits UNICEF, so it's all in good fun. Check out the website to see everyone involved, it's quite a few cool motherfuckers...

DATING STRIP #2

Here's the second one. This one is all about approaching someone you like.

10.17.2005

KISS & TELL...

The Kansas City Star has a new "dating scene" section that they're touting for the next few weeks. Your's truly has a comic towards the bottom of the page. On Sunday, the story was above the fold on the front page and my comic was on like A-20 inside. It's kinda a big deal and if you allow me to toot my own horn, I'm really excited that my work is being highlighted in such a unique manner.

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Anyway, they're going to run KISS & TELL twice a week and you can bet your ass I'll be pimping the latest installment here.

COLBERT REPORT

Don't forget to watch it tonight. Bitches.

From cnn.com

NEW YORK (AP) -- Stephen Colbert's right. He's always right -- however much logic and common sense say otherwise. And those who disagree with him are wrong.

It's that simple (and funny), as viewers know from Colbert's hilarious commentaries since 1997 as senior correspondent on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart."

Now his No-Fact Zone has expanded into a half-hour spinoff, "The Colbert Report." It will air Mondays through Thursdays at 11:30 p.m. EDT, right after "The Daily Show," starting Monday.

And not a moment too soon, figures Colbert (the gifted humorist-performer, that is -- not the make-believe blowhard who shares the same name).

"My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot," Colbert explains. "So we said, 'Let's give him a promotion.' "

Note: The title of the new series should be pronounced with a silent "t" in "report" as well as "Colbert" (say: coal-bear ray-poor), as a verbal handshake exchanged by Colbert cognoscenti. Demonstrating that you get it. That you're one of "the Heroes." Which means you agree with him. Who is always right.

10.16.2005

WORST PHOTO OP EVER.

A couple of clips of the Troops and President "just talking off the cuff." I'm sure you've seen this PLENTY already, but I was stuck in Utah last week, so gimme a break.

(links from crooks & liars)

10.12.2005

DAMMIT...

This was supposed to be out by Christmas!!! Between this and The Flaming Lips, next year can't get here FAST enough!!!

*****
Cat Power Summons Southern Soul On New CD
By Jonathan Cohen, N.Y.



Cat Power chanteuse Chan Marshall soaks up Memphis soul on her new album, "The Greatest," due Jan. 26 via Matador. The 12-track set was recorded in three days at the city's Ardent Studios and produced by Stuart Sikes, who previously worked with Marshall on her 1996 album "What Would the Community Think."

The artist is surrounded on the set by a who's-who of Memphis session veterans, led by Al Green guitarist Mabon "Teenie" Hodges, who plays guitar on all but three tunes. Among the other contributors are bassists Leroy Hodges and David Smith, guitarist Doug Easley, keyboardist Rick Steff, saxophonist Jim Spake and trumpeter Scott Thompson.

Marshall had been playing some of these songs live before the sessions, but as Sikes tells Billboard.com, "I don't think she had any idea how they were going to turn out. When they got to the studio, she played them the song and they charted it out and then just played it. Most of it was done by the first, second or third take."

And while Marshall has become notorious for her erratic live performances and shy demeanor, Sikes says the musicians quickly set her at ease. "The first day, I know she was pretty nervous walking into a room full of these guys who have been on a gazillion records," he says. "But all those guys are amazingly nice. All they wanted was to make her comfortable."

"The Greatest" is highlighted by such jaunty soul-infused tracks as "Could We" and the organ-tinged first single "Living Proof" and emotional numbers with a country bent like "Lived in Bars" and "Empty Shell" (sample lyric: "All that's left of my heart is an empty shell / it's crushed").

The songs "Where Is My Love" and "Hate" return Marshall to the ultra-sparse musical backdrops of her early work; the first a drum-less lament with piano and strings and the latter featuring just Marshall and a repeated three-chord electric guitar figure.

Marshall will begin a solo tour tonight (Oct. 12) in Oberlin, Ohio, but is planning to mount a number of high-profile shows with the Memphis backing band around the new album's release.

"The Greatest" is the follow-up to 2003's "You Are Free," which debuted at No. 1 on Billboard's Heatseekers chart and has sold 131,000 copies in the United States, according to Nielsen Soundscan.

Here is the track list for "The Greatest":

"The Greatest"
"Could We"
"Lived in Bars"
"Islands"
"After It All"
"The Moon"
"Living Proof"
"Empty Shell"
"Willie"
"Where Is My Love"
"Hate"
"Love & Communication"

10.08.2005

FREEWAY BLOGGER

I dunno if it's the "graffiti-do-it-yourself" feel of this, but I'm really really really into it. Some of my favorites:



10.07.2005

I'M OFF TO UTAH...

My work is sending me to Salt Lake City to learn a new computer system for their new Harley location. Weeeeee!!!! UTAH! I believe only Delaware is MORE exciting.

At least there is some good albums coming out next week. Both dealing with covers! Mmmm, I loooooove covers!


Jamie Cullum--Catching Tales.

1. Get Your Way
2. London Skies
3. Photography
4. I Only Have Eyes for You
5. Nothing I Do
6. Mind Trick
7. 21st Century Kid
8. I'm Glad There Is You
9. Oh God
10. Catch the Sun
11. 7 Days to Change Your Life
12. Our Day Will Come
13. Back to the Ground
14. My Yard

I love how he takes songs like "High and Dry" and makes beautiful jazz out of them. Plus his originals are top notch as well. I'm really looking forward to this one.


Dolly Parton--Those Were The Days

1. Those Were The Days
2. Blowin' In The Wind
3. Where Have All The Flowers Gone
4. Twelfth Of Never
5. Where Do The Children Play
6. Me And Bobby McGee
7. Crimson And Clover
8. The Cruel War
9. Turn, Turn, Turn
10. If I Were A Carpenter
11. Both Sides Now
12. Imagine

Don't give me that look. This is an all-covers album...done in bluegrass style. (what do you mean that makes it worse?!) I'm telling you, I'm a sucker for this stuff. Dolly did a cover of Johnny Cash's "I Still Miss Someone" on her last album and it was easily the best song on the album. I'm anxious to see how she handles songs like "Me And Bobby McGee" and "Crimson and Clover."

And, for the record, CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH is the best album of the year. I was able to snatch a copy on Tuesday and have been listening to it ever since. Beautiful, hypnotic, and strange...it will open your eyes and consume your soul. (in a good way.)

10.06.2005

YAY! COMICS!



My friend LIZ PRINCE has her graphic novel debut with "WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WET THE BED?" hitting stores today!!! It's all about falling in love and snuggling and creative kissing. (My favorite is the "corn on the cob" kiss, which sounds naughty...but trust me, it's really sweet.)

SYRIANA



I've been waiting for what seems like FOREVER to finally see a trailer for this. It finally hit the web today. I think it might be the movie of the year...AND the reason George Clooney gets deported.

10.03.2005

ENERGY HOGS!!!

Seriously, THIS is the government's answer to helping cool the energy crisis.



(Thanks to atrios for the link.)

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, I'LL SAY IT AGAIN...

Don't piss off old people...

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/10/03.html#a5202

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH!



October 11th cannot come fast enough. I just got a sampler CD with "In This Home On Ice" on it and have listened to it over and over and over again. I'd heard OF this band, but until yesterday never had HEARD this band. Do yourselves a favor and check it out when their debut hits stores next week...

9.29.2005

HAUNTED HOUSE COMIC!!!

As promised...although it won't run in The Kansas City Star until NEXT Thursday. Damn writers...don't they realize us artists need more room than they do?! Anyway, feel free to consider this a SNEAK PEEK!!! (Ooooooh, so sneaky!)

haunted house web

9.27.2005

MIKE BROWN...SUPERHERO?!

From CNN.com

Former FEMA chief Michael Brown today blamed Louisiana's leaders for dragging their heels last month as Hurricane Katrina approached the Gulf Coast. Brown told a congressional panel he couldn't make state or local officials do anything. "I guess you want me to be the superhero that is going to step in there and suddenly take everybody out of New Orleans."

Hmmm, I'm kinda a comic book fan myself, but for the life of me I can't remember which comic superhero it is that takes FOUR FUCKING DAYS to rescue somebody.

SLOTHMAN, perhaps?!

That Michael Brown...what a dick. (and not a big horse one either.)

NEIL YOUNG * PRAIRIE WIND

Since we're low on funds, I was only able to buy one CD this week, (The horror!!) but it was a beautiful choice. Neil Young has been on a hit-or-miss streak with the last few albums. Last one I loved start to finish was SILVER AND GOLD and this one is up near that album. I have only had a chance to sample tracks here and there during my lunchbreak today, but it's damn beautiful and sweet. Young wrote and recorded most of these tracks before heading into surgery for a brain aneurysm. So, I imagine he MIGHT'VE been thinking, "better say what I need to say." As someone who is constantly thinking that death is right around the corner, I'll tell you that life is best when you just take chances and clear your thoughts. Let people know they mean the most to you and have no regrets. That's why Prairie Wind strikes me so deep.

Songs like, "Here For You" are simple and lovely.

"When your summer days come tumbling down
And you find yourself alone
Then you can come back and be with me
Just close your eyes and I'll be there
Listen to the sound
Of this old heart beating for you
Yes I'd miss you
But I never want to hold you down
You might say I'm here for you"

And "Falling Off the Face of The Earth" again is basically saying goodbye to loved ones. But also letting them know they mean so much to him.

"I just want to thank you
For all of the things you've done
I'm thinking about you
I just want to send my love
I send my best to you
That's my message of love
For all the things you did
I can never thank you enough

Feel like I'm falling
Falling off the face of the earth"

Yeah, really uplifting lyrics, right?! Hey, I'm a sucker for this stuff. I constantly feel like I need to call up friends and tell them how much I appreciate their friendship. But you know, how often do any of us do that? C'mon, we got important things to do! We (heart) Katamari ain't going to play ITSELF!!!

Anyway, the album is fucking great. Not exactly the most exciting thing ever released, but fills the "nice and relaxing" mood quite nicely. I'll leave you with the lyrics to "When God Made Me." It was the song he performed at the Katrina benefit and is powerful stuff. I wish I could write like this...

Was he thinking about my country
Or the colour of my skin?
Was he thinking about my religion
And the way I worshipped him?
Did he create just me in His image
Or every living thing?
When God made me
When God made me

Was He planning only for believers
Or for those who just had faith?
Did he envision all the wars
That were fought in His name?
Did he think there was only one way
To be close to Him?
When God made me
When God made me

Did He give us the gift of love
To say that we could choose?
When God made me
When God made me


Did He give me the gift of voice
So some could silence me?
Did He give me the gift of vision
Not knowing what I might see?
Did He give me the gift of compassion
To help my fellow men?
When God made me
When God made me

9.26.2005

LAUGHING IS GOOD.

If you missed EXTRAS last night, you offically suck. Okay, maybe some of you don't have HBO, maybe some of you don't like British People, and maaaaaaybe some of you just don't like to laugh your ass off. But seriously, don't make me hate you. WATCH THIS SHOW! (Go visit the website and watch some clips if you're bored at work)

And I think I love the fact that ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is on Mondays now. At first, I was like, "But...but I like it on Sunday." But now I know better. It's a better slot on Monday evenings and let's hope America catches on...dumbasses.

9.25.2005

WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE?!

First off, everyone go here and download the new Strokes single. I'm sure Jamie will hate it, but he hates everything and shouldn't ruin our fun. Damn good song and nice to see they're reaching outside the "garage sound" a bit. Good luck getting the "WHY WON'T YOU COME OVER HERE" part outta your head...suckers.

Second off, this is way too adictive. And it's not just because it's the President falling. It's got some amazing effects going on there. And if he gets stuck, just move him with your mouse.

9.23.2005

HAUNTED HOUSES

Tonight I get to visit some Haunted Houses for The Kansas City Star. I've kind of been a "reporter" for them the last couple of months, only instead of writing stories, they have me do a comic strip about the places I go visit.

It's incredible exposure and I get PAID too!

Anyway, here's the Haunted Houses I'm going to...

THE BEAST
THE EDGE OF HELL

I'll post the comic early next week...if I survive.

9.22.2005

SERIOUSLY...

You can't make this shit up...

9.20.2005

I (heart) CARTOONS.



Especially this one. I say I love it but in reality, Molly was the first one to watch it and Lex enjoys the hell out of it and I was the LAST ONE to be sucked into it's magical spell. It's smart, funny, and was created by Craig McCracken...the same guy who created Powerpuff Girls! He has an amazing sense of design that really makes or breaks a cartoon. I don't care how funny Spongebob might be...I can't get past the hideous design.

Anyway, feel free to check out the link. It's a really cute show about a boy named Mac and all the Immaginary Friends that live in the house. You can even get yourself an immaginary friend on the website...if you're really, really bored. But they have a couple of cute clips and games on there that you can totally check out while at work...or so I've been told.

MUSIC IS MY DRUG

I've been listening to some damn fine albums lately. For starters, THE ROLLING STONES BIGGER BANG is waaaay better than it should've been. Track for track it's amazingly strong and proves that even though you're 107 years old, you're never too old to shake your ya-yas.


DAVID GRAY LIFE IN SLOW MOTION is also very, very, very good. A great album to listen to while driving around the town at night with the windows down and the junebugs slamming into your teeth. Seriously, don't these bugs have a calendar?! It's September, dumbasses!!!


Upcoming releases that look promising include the new (one of like three he's going to release this year) one from RYAN ADAMS. So far,I've just heard the single "The Hardest Part" off of iTunes, but it's old country-rockibilly and Travis likey that very much.


NEIL YOUNG PRAIRIE WIND is shaping up to be one of his best. I love the fact that these legends are continuing to make the best music of their careers in this stage in their life. Gives me hope that I could keep making great art well into my elder years. Yeah, I just compared myself to musical greats...shut it.

9.16.2005

I GET REVIEWED.

And it's POSITIVE?! I knew those $50's stapled to the inside cover would work to my benefit.

Here's a sample of the review:

Foxymoron is a mix of daily life observational humor and some of the angriest (and dead-on) political humor I've seen this side of The Daily Show. Most of these issues are pre-election, and so have an optimism to go with the anger that we were only going to have to deal with four years of this bullshit (I was just longing for those more optimistic days myself), but there's also a ton of anger aimed at the Iraq War, the pre-election apathy and all the rest of the Bush Administration crap that has become daily routine for us suffering moderates and liberals. Better yet, it's anger tempered with facts and a wicked sense of humor. Because these strips are older, a lot of the points that Fox is making have been made elsewhere, and there are occasions where it feels like the easy joke, but it's not hard to appreciate arguing with someone who can only respond with bumper sticker slogans or the hypocrisy and assumptions that drive so many involved in the "culture war."

9.10.2005

HURRICANE TELETHONS

Last night's SHELTER FROM THE STORM was pretty good. Of course there were some not-so-hot performances, but it was for a great cause and all in all was nice. Neil Young's amazing new song, "When God Made Me" was the highlight of the evening for me. That song is an instant classic and I thought for sure it was a cover...it was so god damn powerful, right up there with "Imagine." Yeah, I just said that...it is!!

Anyway, tonight is MTV-VH1's turn and the turnout looks to be even MORE incredible! As of 2PM Central time, the line-up is as follows:

REACT NOW! 8pm-11pm Eastern MTV VH1 CMT


3 Doors Down
Audioslave
Fiona Apple
David Banner
Beck
Chester Bennington
Big & Rich
Bon Jovi
Marc Broussard
Kelly Clarkson
Coldplay
Common
Sheryl Crow
Dashboard Confessional
Melissa Etheridge
Goo Goo Dolls
Good Charlotte
Green Day
Emmylou Harris
Alan Jackson
Jewel
Elton John
Norah Jones
Kid Rock
Alicia Keys
Chris Thomas King
Linkin Park
George Lopez
Dave Matthews Band
Maroon 5
John Mayer
Paul McCartney
John Mellencamp
Motley Crue
The Neville Brothers
Pearl Jam
Dennis Quaid
The Radiators
Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Rolling Stones
Trent Reznor
Simple Plan
Lynyrd Skynrd
Staind
Jon Stewart
Sugarland
Rob Thomas
Allen Toussaint
U2
Usher
Kanye West
Hank Williams Jr.
Brian Wilson
Gretchen Wilson
Neil Young
Buckwheat Zydeco

It should be good. I mean, they woke up Kid Rock for this! Hot damn!!!

9.09.2005

THE BLAME GAME

Scott Scott beebo bot
Banana fana fo fot
Fee fi fo foooooot
Scooooott!!!

Scott McLiarpants, the White House press secretary, and David Gregory, reporter that suddenly found his balls, go at it in this clip.

Oh boy...the Blam Game sucks, who wants to play Hungry Hungry Hippos?!

9.08.2005

GO FUCK YOURSELF, MR. CHENEY!

Just happened on live TV...Dick Cheney is trying to talk to reporters and in the background you hear someone shout, "GO FUCK YOURSELF, MR. CHENEY! GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

CNN's reporter asks Cheney, "Are you getting a lot of that Mr. Vice President?"

Cheney replies, "First time I've heard it., Must be a friend of John..., er, ah - never mind.."

PRICELESS...act like it was a political attack, sir...not a personal one you dumbass. It was probably just some hippy pinko Liberal and not someone who lost everything while your boss played guitar.

What a fucker.

9.07.2005

CAUSE IF YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, THEY'RE NOT DEAD...

************
FEMA Wants No Photos of Dead
From Reuters

NEW ORLEANS — The U.S. agency leading Hurricane Katrina rescue efforts said Tuesday that it does not want the news media to photograph the dead as they are recovered.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency, heavily criticized for its slow response to the devastation caused by the hurricane, rejected journalists' requests to accompany rescue boats searching for storm victims.

An agency spokeswoman said space was needed on the rescue boats.

"We have requested that no photographs of the deceased be made by the media," the spokeswoman said in an e-mail.
*************

9.06.2005

I (heart) KEITH OLBERMANN

If you're not watching COUNTDOWN on MSNBC you're truly missing out on one of the greatest newspeople in the entire media. Here's his commentary from last night...and it's everything I wish I was smart enough to say...

SECAUCUS — Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said it all, starting his news briefing Saturday afternoon: "Louisiana is a city that is largely underwater..."

Well there's your problem right there.

If ever a slip-of-the-tongue defined a government's response to a crisis, this was it.

The seeming definition of our time and our leaders had been their insistence on slashing federal budgets for projects that might’ve saved New Orleans. The seeming characterization of our government that it was on vacation when the city was lost, and could barely tear itself away from commemorating V.J. Day and watching Monty Python's Flying Circus, to at least pretend to get back to work. The seeming identification of these hapless bureaucrats: their pathetic use of the future tense in terms of relief they could’ve brought last Monday and Tuesday — like the President, whose statements have looked like they’re being transmitted to us by some kind of four-day tape-delay.

But no. The incompetence and the ludicrous prioritization will forever be symbolized by one gaffe by of the head of what is ironically called “The Department of Homeland Security”: “Louisiana is a city…”

Politician after politician — Republican and Democrat alike — has paraded before us, unwilling or unable to shut off the "I-Me" switch in their heads, condescendingly telling us about how moved they were or how devastated they were — congenitally incapable of telling the difference between the destruction of a city and the opening of a supermarket.

And as that sorry recital of self-absorption dragged on, I have resisted editorial comment. The focus needed to be on the efforts to save the stranded — even the internet's meager powers were correctly devoted to telling the stories of the twin disasters, natural... and government-made.

But now, at least, it is has stopped getting exponentially worse in Mississippi and Alabama and New Orleans and Louisiana (the state, not the city). And, having given our leaders what we know now is the week or so they need to get their act together, that period of editorial silence I mentioned, should come to an end.

No one is suggesting that mayors or governors in the afflicted areas, nor the federal government, should be able to stop hurricanes. Lord knows, no one is suggesting that we should ever prioritize levee improvement for a below-sea-level city, ahead of $454 million worth of trophy bridges for the politicians of Alaska.

But, nationally, these are leaders who won re-election last year largely by portraying their opponents as incapable of keeping the country safe. These are leaders who regularly pressure the news media in this country to report the reopening of a school or a power station in Iraq, and defies its citizens not to stand up and cheer. Yet they couldn't even keep one school or power station from being devastated by infrastructure collapse in New Orleans — even though the government had heard all the "chatter" from the scientists and city planners and hurricane centers and some group whose purposes the government couldn't quite discern... a group called The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

And most chillingly of all, this is the Law and Order and Terror government. It promised protection — or at least amelioration — against all threats: conventional, radiological, or biological.

It has just proved that it cannot save its citizens from a biological weapon called standing water.

Mr. Bush has now twice insisted that, "we are not satisfied," with the response to the manifold tragedies along the Gulf Coast. I wonder which "we" he thinks he's speaking for on this point. Perhaps it's the administration, although we still don't know where some of them are. Anybody seen the Vice President lately? The man whose message this time last year was, 'I'll Protect You, The Other Guy Will Let You Die'?

I don't know which 'we' Mr. Bush meant.

For many of this country's citizens, the mantra has been — as we were taught in Social Studies it should always be — whether or not I voted for this President — he is still my President. I suspect anybody who had to give him that benefit of the doubt stopped doing so last week. I suspect a lot of his supporters, looking ahead to '08, are wondering how they can distance themselves from the two words which will define his government — our government — "New Orleans."

For him, it is a shame — in all senses of the word. A few changes of pronouns in there, and he might not have looked so much like a 21st Century Marie Antoinette. All that was needed was just a quick "I'm not satisfied with my government's response." Instead of hiding behind phrases like "no one could have foreseen," had he only remembered Winston Churchill's quote from the 1930's. "The responsibility," of government, Churchill told the British Parliament "for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. It is in fact, the prime object for which governments come into existence."

In forgetting that, the current administration did not merely damage itself — it damaged our confidence in our ability to rely on whoever is in the White House.

As we emphasized to you here all last week, the realities of the region are such that New Orleans is going to be largely uninhabitable for a lot longer than anybody is yet willing to recognize. Lord knows when the last body will be found, or the last artifact of the levee break, dug up. Could be next March. Could be 2100. By then, in the muck and toxic mire of New Orleans, they may even find our government's credibility.

Somewhere, in the City of Louisiana.

9.03.2005

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE

Attention Everyone,

You MUST go to http://www.americablog.blogspot.com and read the posts this guy is bringing to our attention. Take your pick, it's going to blow you mind. Some examples:

*Chicago offered help on SUNDAY and was refused?!

*National Guardsmen were playing cards while people died?!

*Bush faked a levee repair for a photo-op?!

This is like conspiracy type shit, right?! I mean, this cannot be the truth...can it?!

Unfortunately it is true. And it makes me so god damn ashamed of my country right now. What more will it fucking take to get this incompetent President driven out of office?! Can some whore PLEASE give the man a blowjob so we can get a mother fucking hearing underway?!

Oh, and Chief Justice Rehnquist just died...so ladies, hurry up and get all of your rights gathered up so they can destroy them in a few months. And kids, break out your one and only textbook from now on, The Bible! Can I get an Amen?!

Someone just wake me up when things are back to normal...

MORE VIDEO...

Kanye West tells America "George Bush doesn't care about black people" last night on the NBC Hurricane Relief special.

DailyKos brings this video to our attention...along with the transcript:
***************
Bush to women: "There's a Salvation Army center that I want to, that I'll tell you where it is, and they'll get you some help. I'm sorry.... They'll help you.....

Woman 1: "I came here looking for clothes..."

Bush: "They'll get you some clothes, at the Salvation Army center..."

Woman 1: "We don't have anything..."

Bush: "I understand.... Do you know where the center is, that I'm talking to you about?"

Guy with shades: "There's no center there, sir, it's a truck."

Bush: "There's trucks?"

Guy: "There's a school, a school about two miles away....."

Bush: "But isn't there a Salvation center down there?"

Guy: "No that's wiped out...."

Bush: "A temporary center? "

Guy: "No sir they've got a truck there, for food."

Bush: "That's what I'm saying, for food and water."

Bush turns to the sister who's been saying how she needs clothes.

Bush to sister: "You need food and water."
**************

And finally, even FOX NEWS reporters are pissed off and speaking out...

9.01.2005

GOOD NIGHT & GOOD LUCK

All right...a small break from the depressing news...

George Clooney's next film, GOOD NIGHT & GOOD LUCK, has it's trailer online finally.

Check it out...it's purrrrty.

TWO MORE VIDEOS...

www.crooksandliars.com has always been an excellent source of news footage that you probably (if you're like me and work all damn day) miss out on. Today they have two amazing videos that EVERYONE needs to view for themselves.

The first is of our President on Good Morning America this morning. I know I'm awfully critical of the man, but is there ANYTHING HE WON'T SMIRK AT?! Fucking asshole. Diane Sawyer is asking him about the relief efforts that are non-existent at this point and he chuckles about it. I'm not kidding...watch it for yourself! People are dying Mr. President, and I fail to see what's funny about it.

The second one is of one of my favorite anchors on CNN, John Cafferty. He nails the entire situation head on and says EXACTLY what I'd say if I had airtime and not a blog that no one reads.

This is one of the saddest situations in our Nation's history and I cannot believe how it's not affecting more people.

SADDEST THING EVER...

Go here and watch the video, "People are dying in front of us."

Then do something.

8.31.2005

OUR FEARLESS LEADER...

Um, I dunno about you, but the flooding down South is really really really depressing. People are going to homeless for at LEAST months on out. Hundreds, probably THOUSANDS are feared dead. But you know what really depresses me?! Our President, GEORGE WALKER BUSH had to cancel his vacation two days EARLY!!! Sniff. Sniff. He only had four weeks and five days of vacation...poor bastard.

But, folks please, I've been told numerous times that just because the President is on vacation doesn't mean he's not working!!! And that's totally true, cause yesterday, as the levee broke and 80% of New Orleans was underwater, here's what our Commander in Chief was doing...



That's right, he's busting out some FREEEEEEEEBIRD! Cause fuck you, I'm on vacation!!!

But not now...poor lil' man.

(link for photo:http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050830/480/capm10208301856)

8.30.2005

I AM A MUSIC BUYING MACHINE...

...and I need to be turned off before I force my family to eat soup for the rest of the week. I need help, HELP I tell you!!!

So far I've bought:

Here's a confession, I am a Bob Dylan junkie. I've sold plasma and some babies on the black market to buy his records and see him in concert. The man is a genuis and the music he writes, the LYRICS that flow out of this man will be around for centuries to come. MASTERS OF WAR...what a powerful song. HARD RAIN'S A GONNA FALL...simply mindblowing. This is another CD in the series of Bootleg releases and has tons of live and alternative takes on much of his more popular songs.


Haven't had a chance to listen to this yet, and even though it's been getting mixed reviews, I wanted to check it out. Although I must say, it's due time for another POSTAL SERVICE record mother fuckers!!!

I've also bought songs off iTunes from Ben Folds, and new singles from upcoming releases by Neil Young and Ryan Adams.