TOP 10 TV SHOWS OF 2006!

10. HEROES
Sort of a poor man's "LOST." It's an interesting premise, but chooses style over substance. Molly loves it, I catch most of it here and there as I hurry to meet my deadlines for The Kansas City Star on Monday evenings. I think it's only gotten better since it's so-so season premere and certainly has a lot of promise, it just haven't got me "extremely excited" thus far.


9. COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
Normally I wouldn't include daily shows like Letterman or The Daily Show, but this is too damn important to leave off the list. If you want your news with hard hitting commentary and a touch of humor (and tongue in cheek Fox News bashing) you really need to check it out nightly on MSNBC at 7pm.


8. 30 DAYS
Only six episodes a season and it still packs more of a punch than most televison shows could even hope to accomplish. Taking the idea of Super Size Me and changing your daily life for 30 entire days, Morgan Spurlock uses this series to put people from different ends of the spectrum and puts them in each other's shoes. He took a Minuteman (the guys who guard the border and hate illegal immigrants) and forced him to live with a family of illegals out in Southern California. Took an Atheist and made her live with a family of Born Again Christians. And, for the season finale, spent 30 days locked up in prison. It's one of the few shows on TV that enlightens and entertains at the exact same time.


7. EXTRAS
No, it's not as good as The Office, but dammit if it ain't just as bittersweet. Ricky Gervais nails both humor and lonely loveless fools in yet another amazing series. Season two starts in a couple of weeks on HBO...try not to miss it this time!


6. STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
Entertainment Weekly listed this as one of the WORST shows of 2006. There's plenty of other critics that are throwing in the towel and leaving this series before it's first season is even finished. Listen, I understand that the sketches aren't funny, it's a tad too "important" at times, but the last few episodes before it went on hiatus were absolutely brilliant. Especially the Christmas episode! I love the characters, the view of behind the scenes of a television show, and dare I say it, the writing! Screw the critics, this is going to become one of the best shows on TV by the end of it's run.


5. BIG LOVE
I'll be honest...I didn't expect to like this one. I gave it a couple of episodes and felt kind of "meh." But Molly really enjoyed it and about four episodes in, it "clicked." Big Love runs at a different pace than normal shows. It doesn't have huge "events" or "twists and turns" like a lot of other HBO series...but it's damn good. It'll grow on you...and if you're lucky, your wife will totally let you bring home two other girls "to help love the Lord!"


4. THE OFFICE
I've said it before and I'll say it again...this wasn't supposed to be that good! We all know what happens when America tries to take BBC shows and destroy them...but dammit, the writers and actors have turned one of my favorite TV series of all time into a strong, yet different US comedy! It came sooooooo close to being a shit-canned 6 episode failure...then NBC gave it another chance, iTunes began selling episodes at a lightning pace and now it's the best comedy on TV! (Earl? Who's that?!)


3. LOST
Say what you will about the first six episodes earlier this year, but last season was fucking television at it's finest! The introducton of "Henry Gale" was exactly what this show needed. And even if almost all of the "Tailies" lasted all of about ten episodes, I think the rest of season three has plenty of tricks up it's sleeve!


2. 24
Five seasons and each gets even better than the last. If you've never gotten into this fast-paced, back to back new episodes with absolutely no repeats, show where anything can and will happen...you have no idea how amazing network television can truly be. This show is the greatest thing to ever come out of a silly idea. "Real time? 24 episodes with each one being an hour long?" Who knew that it would be handled with such care and intensity. I can't wait for the movie to come along and fuck everything up...


1. THE WIRE
So many different friends and family members told me to check out this show...so when my Comcast Cable had the entire season four OnDemand, I figured I'd give it a shot. Truly intense, riveting characters and one of the realest views of everything that happens within an inner city...The Wire is seriously the ONE SHOW you cannot miss. Above all others on this list, go rent the DVDs and get your ass educated! Best part, since each seasons starts with a new direction, you can pretty much jump in anywhwere and follow along at your own pace.

TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2006!

10. THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
This one wasn't "black comedy" enough for me. Sure, the scene above you have a man protecting the cigarette industry by telling an audience that it's in their best interests to keep this kid with Cancer alive and smoking...but overall I felt like it was missing it's "bite." Not a bad movie in the least, just wished it didn't hold back. Maybe the whole subplot with the kid ruined it for me...who knows.


9. WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?
Proved my point that Big Oil owns everything to do with the automobile industry...and kept Molly awake! So that's a win-win! You go into the movie not knowing much about the Electric Car (they were only LEASED to a select few in California) and leave with this sinking feeling that we might be closer to weening ourselves off foreign oil by now if we could've kept the pressure on the car companies. Also, I knew Cheney and Bush and Andy Card were all tied to the Oil Lobbies...but who knew Condi Rice was as well?! Just makes the case that the only "energy policy" we're going to get until 2008 is either "Coal" or "Drill the Fuck outta Alaska!"


8. FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
If "Letters From Iwo Jima had opened here this year, this wouldn't be on the list. It wasn't a bad movie...but from what I hear, Iwo Jima is everything this film was, only tighter and more precise. This one seems to have a heavy influence on narration and flashbacks. Plus, it tries to cover a ton of ground in not only showing you what happened on the island, but following the soliders back to their cilvian lives. It was an eye-opening look into what our country will do to boost morale. It's funny to think that we have alwasy been as sneaky and sloppy as we are now...it's just that shit was easier to manipulate back then.


7. V FOR VENDETTA
I loved this movie. I don't care if it was more action than story or didn't exactly follow the book. It was powerful and had some of the most breathtaking action sequences of the year. Oh, and bald chicks are hott.


6. WHY WE FIGHT
Every school should be forced to show this documentary to it's students. It's something that we need to get instilled into the brains of future generations...the notion of why we go to war and what can be done to prevent it. It's odd and yet satisfying that a former Army General turned President would use his last Address to the Nation to warn us of the Military Complex. That after defeating the Nazis in WWII, we wouldn't need to continue to build up our weaponary and military forces against an enemy that didn't exsist. And yet, that's exactly what we've done to this very day. This is easily my pick for "SEE IT NOW" compared to anything else on the list.


5. THE PRESTIGE
Nothing is worse that knowing a movie has a "trick ending" in store for you and just spending the entire movie trying to figure it out. Christopher Nolan has made a career out of making the type of films that have twists and turns and keep you so entralled that he manages to stay one step ahead. The Prestige is his latest masterpiece and was one of the best times I had all year inside of the movie theater. Every single performance was perfect, and you know you're in for a treat when David Bowie just shows up as dessert! The entire film is one giant magic trick where everything is right in front of your eyes and yet the slight of hand deceives you right up until the final frame.


4. UNITED 93
Here's a film that everyone needs to see and that no one wants to. It made a tiny dent in the box office and every person I reccomended the film to gave me the, "Eh, I don't think I can watch that." face. It's shot like a documentary, has nobody actors, uses a lot of real life people to play themselves, and stays with you long after the movie is over. Fuck Alan Jackson, watch this film and make sure you "haven't forgotten."


3. THE DEPARTED
Saw this with my buudy Jon a couple months ago. We both were "eh" about buying tickets for it. Nothing screamed "you have to see this!" and honestly, if there had been anything else that would've caught our eyes, we probably would have skipped it. But luckily, we sat down and saw what will probably win Best Picture of the Year. It has plenty of twists and turns and great acting throughout the entire thing. But most of all, it has that "bite" that Thank You For Smoking was lacking. This movie pulls no punches. It's loud, it's messy, and god damn is it violent. You see more headshots and blood splatter here than your average horror film. It's exactly the type of movie that Scorsese needed to make to ensure he gets his fucking Oscar. Or else, expect him to shoot some mother fuckers in their god damn cake holes.


2. BORAT
What can I even say about this one? Sasha Baron Cohen is our Andy Kaufman and this is his masterpiece. The fact that this even got made, became a phenomenon, and shed some light under America's underbelly is enough to make my head spin. I have never laughed longer or harder in a movie theater...ever. I can only imagine the amazing DVD that we get to look forward to in a couple months!


1. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
The little movie that could. Yeah, it's ending was a lil' letdown, but the adventure that got us there was worth every penny. The best ensemble in recent memory captured on screen combined with a fresh idea for a "road picture" made this my favorite film of the year. It was so simple, so touching, so amazing in every sense of the word. It made you cherish your family, no matter how fucked up they may be.

MOVIES THAT WE DIDN"T GET TO SEE YET SINCE WE LIVE IN A COWTOWN: (therefore didn't make the list)
* PAN'S LABYRINTH
* THE GOOD GERMAN
* CHILDREN OF MEN
* LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA

FILM I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SEE, BUT COULDN'T FIND THE TIME BEFORE IT ALREADY LEFT THE THEATERS:
*THE FOUNTAIN

WORST WASTES OF FILM (and my time) OF THE YEAR: (tie)
* LADY IN THE WATER...wow. What the fuck was that about?! Rented it for free and still wanted my money back.
* ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL...seriously...was good up until the "murder mystery" bullshit.

FINAL EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!

This was a Christmas promo piece over in the UK for The Simpsons from back in 2004. So either watch it here or wait for the Season 12 DVD set like three years from now...your choice, sucker!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #5

A great piece of commentary about the hypocrisies between the evangelical preachers on TV and the real meaning of Christmas (and Christ.)

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #4

I know most of these are from Saturday Night Live, but this is really one of my all-time favorites. It aired just a few short months after 9-11, and still packs a punch to this very day. We all needed this...BADLY.


THE NARRATOR WHO RUINED CHRISTMAS

OCEAN'S THIRTEEN!

New poster and teaser. Sweeeeeet!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #3

Old Saturday Night Live sketch with Matt Foley as a Mall Santa. This was easily my most cherished period of the show, from waaaaaay back when I was in Middle School. Early 90's SNL and The Simpsons truly formed my entire sense of humor. And man, I still really miss Chris Farley...

OUR GENUIS OF A PRESIDENT...

...is going to increase the size of the Army. Didn't Eisenhower warn us about this shit? I mean, who's the big evil empire we're up against now? The USSR? China? Iran? Cause it better not be the terrorists, because Iraq has made us safer!!! Don't you fuckers remember?! You only told it to us about 50 billion times!!!

...it all reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer and Chief Wiggum and others are digging a giant hole and getting deeper and deeper. Suddenly you hear Chef Wiggum shout, "Dig up, STUPID!"

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #2

This one is from South Park's Mr. Hankey's Christmas Special from a few years back. Santa and Jesus are singing each other's songs in some jazz bar when Santa ends up getting pissed because there's tons of songs about Jesus and just a handful about him. Plus the lil' Duran Duran bit he does is extra nice...

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #1

Every day this week, I'm going to post something that I hope will help get you into the Christmas Spirit! Today's comes from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live. It's really, really funny and actually makes me like Justin Timberlake...maybe because Timbaland had nothing to do with it...or did he?!

And keep an open mind at the begining, because I was thinking to myself, "Wow, this could be extremely lame" right before rolling around in laughter!


(Not safe for work...probably)

I DON'T NORMALLY DO THIS...

I usually leave the Celebrity Gossip to better blogs, but this headline caught my eye and the story is fucking funny (without trying to be) as well...

Lohan: I haven't had a drink in a week

NEW YORK (AP) -- Lindsay Lohan says she's been going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for a year, but hasn't talked about it because "it's no one's business."

"I just left an AA meeting," the 20-year-old actress tells People magazine in a story posted Tuesday on its Web site.

"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything," she says. "I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull."

"I've been going to AA for a year by the way," Lohan adds. When asked why didn't she say so until recently, she replies: "Well it's no one's business. That's why it's anonymous!"

Seriously, with all the depressing news going on in the world, isn't it awesome that we can still laugh at these worthless celebrities and their petty bullshit?! Thanks CNN!

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

Since Jamie already did his list, I suppose it's not too early to do mine. Besides, there isn't shit coming out between now and the end of the year...


10. DAVE MATTHEWS BAND * LIVE AT FENWAY PARK

Basically my "personal pick." I love the band and I love them live, but this album is beyond any of their previous live releases. 4 discs. Plenty of new, unreleased tracks. Superb renditions of classics. It's not going to show up on anyone else's pick for "Albums of the Year" but who cares, it's still damn good.


9. THE WEATHER MACHINES * THE SOUND OF PSEDUOSCIENCE

This was one of those, "Eh, nothing new out this week, what do you recommend?!" picks. Luckily Coleen over at Needmore Discs told me about these guys. For being a debut, I was shocked at not only the fact that they made some solid and catchy rock, but also not signed to a huge label. If there's any justice in the world of music, these guys will land a major contract and come out with an even stronger follow-up!


8. ARCTIC MONKEYS * WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY I AM, THAT'S WHAT I'M NOT

Yeah yeah, there's tons of hype on these guys and it's not all deserved...but at the end of the day this album was still better than loads of others and they seemed to deal with their newfound fame better than say, The Killers. Besides, you totally don't start hating on a band until their SECOND album!


7. CURSIVE * HAPPY HOLLOW

Probably the hardest record to "get into" on the list. First listen, I was underwhelmed, but by the second and third I began to understand why so many people were raving about this collection of songs about life in the Midwest. Being on the top of the buckle of the Bible Belt, I relate a lil' too much to the themes expressed in a lot of these songs. Cursive is a great band, but this isn't where I would start if you're wanting to get into them. This is a much better jumping on point.


6. WE ARE SCIENTISTS * WITH LOVE & SQUALOR

ANOTHER solid debut album makes the list. These guys (thankfully) missed out becoming over-exposed by doing a stint on The O.C. or something like that. They (hopefully) will have a long and solid career ahead of them thanks to their amazing catchy hooks and fierce guitar work. Plus, you gotta give them props for Album Cover of the Year as well!


5. JOHNNY CASH * AMERICAN RECORDINGS V

You could argue that with each American Recordings, Johnny Cash made a better collection of covers and classics. Certainly, as a "I listened to it over and over again" standpoint, American Recordings V was the best of the series. So many good cuts, and even better, they are so deeply personal and emotional that you can hear Johnny's pain and sorrow on each and every track. Recorded in the months in between June's death and his own passing, death is all around him and like hell he's going down without a fight. Listen to his passion on "God's Gonna Cut You Down." Feel the sadness in his cover of "If You Could Read My Mind." And you can't help but sense the connection between the son and father taking their coffin of their late mother/wife back home on a train on "The Evening Train." It was written back in the 1940's and Cash makes it feel as though he's singing it about his tragic loss.

The Evening Train

I heard the laughter at the depot
But my tears fell like the rain
When I saw them place the casket
In the baggage coach of the evening train

The baby's eyes were red from weepin
His little heart is filled with pain
Oh dad he cried they're takin mama
Away from us on the evening train

I turned to walk away from the depot
It seems I heard here call my name
Take care of baby and tell him daring
That I'm goin home on the evening train

I pray that god will give me courage
To carry on til we meet again
It's hard to know she's gone forever
They're carryin her home on the evening train

I heard the laughter at the depot
But my tears fell like the rain
When I saw them place the casket
In the baggage coach of the evening train


4. BOB DYLAN * MODERN TIMES

I raved and raved about this album for weeks on this blog already, but if you didn't pick it up, it's easy to think that it's just "old timer music." You need to give it a listen. It's surprisingly rocking and melodic...he's still a master of songwriting, but the music on this one also shines...


3. DIXIE CHICKS * TAKING THE LONG WAY

Again, without actually listening to this album, you're likely to just roll your eyes. But it's fucking good, I'm telling you the truth, yo!!! We all know the shitstorm they caused when they ate that aborted fetus on stage...no...wait, simply uttered the phrase: "We're ashamed President Bush is from Texas." Wow, can you even remember that far back to when Bush and the war were popular?! What a retarded couple of years those were...

Anyway, this album is one of the few that I can just press play and listen straight through at any time. Having a bad day, it's got angry political songs on it. Feeling blue, it's got some sad country tunes. Want to line dance...eh, maybe you need to buy some Brooks n' Dunn. Fucking go buy this album...now!!!



2. CAT POWER * THE GREATEST

Two different covers and neither of them do this album justice. Especially the pink one with the gold boxing glove?! Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?! Anyway, this was easily the album I listened to the most throughout the entire year. (kind of helps that it came out back in late January) Deep, Southern swing mixed with an amazingly haunting voice, Chan Marshal has perfected her studio sound. She also has overcome the anxiety of performing live and even made an appearance on Letterman earlier in the year. Another great "put it in and let it play" album that doesn't have any lulls. If you've never bought a Cat Power album, this is an excellent place to start!


1. MATES OF STATE * BRING IT BACK

Talk about horrible album covers...I almost fought the urge to buy this (even after hearing hype about it being damn catchy pop) just because I didn't want this guy's eyes to steal my soul when I slept at night. Luckily, I ended up buying it, tossing the CD cover into the fireplace along with a Bible and some Holy Water and enjoying the best album of 2006! I cannot even begin to describe how awesome this record is. Every single song is catchy. Every single song is "single worthy." Every single...you know what, just go listen to a couple 30 second samples over at iTunes and find out what you're missing! I promise you, give Mates of State a listen and you'll be in a state of happiness.

Fuck you, you wish you were half as clever as me.

HOT FUZZ

No, not the Britney Spears-no undies-photos...sicko. This is the latest film from the guys who brought you SHAUN OF THE DEAD