WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS...

Poor ol' Bobby Jindal just ain't having a good week. It started with an awkward interview on Meet The Press, then his GOP response Tuesday night, where he spent a couple minutes talking about meeting with a local sheriff and trying to get rescue boats to help Katrina victims.

...turns out, he LIED about that whole thing.

In fact, Jindal wasn't even in the sheriff's office at the time that conversation went down, and only heard about it DAYS LATER.

Watch this bastard tell the American people this BS story, attempting to sell us on the fact that you can't trust the federal government...

...sorry Jindal, but maybe America just can't trust your lying ass.

YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW I DON'T WATCH 30 ROCK...

...but that doesn't mean that this isn't absolutely hilaaaaaaaaaaaaarious...

JUST AS I PREDICTED...

...but even worse than I imagined, Jindal was a disaster. His delivery of the GOP Response was cold and awkward. He told stories that seemed more like they were written for him rather than actual experiences he lived through. And seriously? He wants to bring up Katrina as proof that you can't rely on the Federal Government? Who was President during that whole fiasco? You basically just called George W Bush a huge failure in front of the entire country...and he was the leader of YOUR party! If he hadn't taken a entire week off before dealing with that disaster, maybe your sheriff wouldn't have needed to find people using local residents and their own boats.

MSNBC had me howling after his response ended, because they all said exactly what I was yelling at the screen as he spoke!


And before you think, "Well, sure those liberals are going to think Jindal was awful," let's see how well Fox News thought he did...

FUN FACT: TONIGHT ISN'T A "STATE OF THE UNION"

That doesn't happen until next year. Tonight's speech is actually called a "annual message."

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal will be delivering the GOP's response, and if it's anything like his train wreck um...appearance on last Sunday's Meet The Press, expect him to spend more time on his 2012 Presidential run than on the state of our union.

ALAN KEYES NEEDS TO SPEAK HIS MIND MORE OFTEN...

C'mon GOP, give this guy a Senate seat already! He makes Sarah Palin look sane!

WHY REPUBLICANS CAN'T LECTURE ANYONE ON THE ECONOMY...

...because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

ME GONNA BE ON TV

This Thursday evening. KCPT. 8pm. Tune in and watch me in all of my three minutes of comic artist nerdly glory!

RELIGULOUS IS OUT ON DVD TODAY!

My personal favorite film of the year, even though I ranked others higher...(what can I say, in the end I'm a hopeless romantic who also adores Batman!)

It's an hour and a half spent following Bill Maher around, trying to get answers out of people about what they believe and why on God's name do they believe it? Very funny and even more thought-provoking than say, "Borat" which was also directed by Larry Charles. (and which shares the same premise in that none of the interviewers knew beforehand that they'd be talking to Bill Maher.)

Here are some clips to get you in the mindset of questioning your own beliefs and joining the "I DON'T HAVE A GOD DAMN CLUE" club...

I GETZ INTERVIEWD

...and it gets posted days after losing my INK gig. Karma can be a fickle bitch sometimes.

But read it and weep, suckers!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY FROM NOBY NOBY BOY!

It's a new video game from the creator of Katamari Damacy. Here's a lil' look of some gameplay footage of him either climbing up or humping a rainbow:

HOW I WANT TO CELEBRATE MY 30TH BIRTHDAY...

Too bad I don't live in England. Grrrrrr...

JOAQUIN PHOENIX ON LETTERMAN

Seriously odd. He barely spoke, chewed gum the whole time, got snippy with Paul, and stuck his gum on Dave's desk once Letterman made a joke about it...but man, Dave is perfect in these conditions!

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS TRAILER!!!

Is it August yet?!

LITTLEBIGPLANET FIGURES!!!

Coming this Spring!



Happy happy, joy joy!

THE LESSON LEARNED...

Kos over at Dailykos.com just did a great post about the sad lessons Obama learned when dealing with Republicans over this stimulus...

Basically, you don't offer them shit up front. Because they'll bitch and whine and moan that it's "$900 Billion dollars worth of PORK!" even though 40% of it was TAX CUTS specifically to get them on board.

So when asked a question last night during the press conference about what lessons he learned, Obama responded:

Now, just in terms of the historic record here, the Republicans were brought in early and were consulted. They were pleasantly surprised and complimentary about the tax cut that were presented in that framework. Those tax cuts are still in there. I mean, I suppose what I could have done is started off with no tax cuts, knowing that I was going to want some and then let them take credit for all of them. And maybe that’s the lesson I learned.

And that, ladies and gentlemen is how things get done in Washington. It took Obama two lousy weeks to realize that you can't come in and act like we're all in this together...you have to treat the Republicans like the spoiled brats they are, let them make their idle threats and smear your ideas with tar and feathers, and THEN give them what you were planning on giving them all along.

PRESIDENT OBAMA TO HOLD FIRST PRESS CONFERENCE TONIGHT...

Is it wrong that I look forward to things like this the way most men look forward to sports playoffs?! I'm gonna have my giant foam finger and snacks set out and everything!

BEIRUT ON LETTERMAN

Last Friday night, they made their network TV debut...



...and were absolutely incredible.

THE THING MY NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF...

I mean, I hate snakes. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE them. But this thing...just makes me want to curl up in a ball and start sucking my thumb again.

I mean, 2500 POUNDS?! 45 FEET LONG?! Where's Jon Voight when I need him?!

PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN!!!

George Clooney wants to direct (and star) in "The Challenge," a courtroom drama about the trial of Osama bin Laden's driver who was held at Guantanamo Bay for five years. Aaron Sorkin wrote the screenplay, based off Jonathan Mahler's book "The Challenge: Hamdan v. Rumsfeld and the Fight Over Presidential Power."

You might remember another Aaron Sorkin courtroom drama dealing with the abuses at Guantanamo in a lil' movie called, "A Few Good Men."

What's interesting about this case isn't the idea of guilt or innocence on behalf of bin Laden's driver, but rather focuses on two lawyers who sue the President of the United States because they feel these military trials are against our Constitution.

It should totally give Paul Bart: Mall Cop 2 a run for it's money next year...

ANYONE ELSE WONDER...

...if the groundhog doesn't give a shit about his shadow and worries more about about being manhandled by this douche bag from Moulin Rouge?!



I'm not a PETA guy or anything, but something tells me the look on Punxsutawney Phil's face isn't saying, "Yay! It's Groundhog Day!"