COMICON 2: THE INEVITABLE CRAPPIER SEQUEL

All right, where did I leave off? Ah yes, Saturday...the morning started off with SUPERMAN RETURNS and walking around the con and whatnot, but then at 5 O'Clock I headed over to where the TENACIOUS D concert was going to be. They weren't going to play until 6:45, but I figured the line might start getting long around 5ish, so I'd go check it out.

IT WAS INSANE!!! Out the doors, down like a block, cornered off in a different direction, down about another block to where this guy was holding a megaphone shouting "THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE!!!"

I was like, no way all these people are waiting for the Tenacious D show?! Turns out, at 5:15 the KING KONG panel started and "The D" would follow that. So I sat through the King Kong panel which consisted of Adrian Brody, Naomi Watts, and Jack Black. It was kinda sad, because here you have two amazing talented actors and 90% of the people in there are ONLY wanting to see Jack Black. People were asking Tenacious D questions the whole panel and fucking up Adrian Brody's name and refering to Naomi Watts as "I've never seen your movies, but you're fucking hot!"

In fact there's a great clip of Adrian acting like he's pissed off about all the "D" questions and flips out over at www.ifilm.com


Then, they finish up and an annoucer starts laying down the rules for the Tenacious D show..."No cameras of any kind, no recorders of any kind! We have special technology to detect if you're using such equiptment and will take it away from you if you are caught! Also, stay seated...DO NOT RUSH THE STAGE!"

Kevin Smith comes out to introduce the band and says how there are only, ONLY 9 dicks in the world he would suck. There used to be 10, but he finished off Affleck on the set of their last movie. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you #5 and #6!!!"

KG and Jack Black walk out on stage and KG drops his pants right and gives Kevin a "Well..." look! Kevin is totally taken off guard and rushes off stage! Jack Black mentions how gay the annoucer was. "Fucking record whatever you want...and no one, NO ONE has ever rushed the stage at a Tenacious D show, but thanks for looking out for us, I guess..."

They played new songs from their upcoming film, ("Which I'm going to go ahead and say is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE!" Says Jack Black, "And that's no bias just because I'm in it...") and old songs like Wonderboy and Fuck Her Gently."



It was a great show and I must say, the BEST free concert I ever saw. Jack Black even mentioned that in between songs...

"So, New Line wanted us to show up here at Comicon and play some songs to promote the film. And I go, well, how much does it cost to get into this 'comicon?' $15 bucks?!"
"No Jack, it costs $35."
"That's for all four days though, right?!"
"No Jack, that's just one day..."
"Holy shit, $35?! We have to put on a $35 show?!"
"No Jack, see that gets them into ALL of comicon, so it's a deal."
"Fuck that...we got a lot of fans just coming to see US play...I guess we'll put on a $35 dollar show..."

And they did. They were very funny, very enthusiastic and played for over an hour!

After that, Daniel, Hector and I headed towards the Beehive Bar which was all the way over at 14th and C...about a mile from the convention center! Jim Mahfood (www.40ozcomics.com) and Scott Morse (www.scottmorse.com) were doing Live Mural Art there and it's a blast to watch them paint as you get shitfaced drunk. They painted on wood, cardboard, even records! Hector even joined them as did some of Scott's friends from PIXAR..




From there, I decided it would be a good idea to head back to the Hyatt and try and meet up with Kelly Sue and Jamie Rich again...again, another mile away. I wandered a few blocks, found a really funny bumper sticker and realized that I might get be a lil' too drunk to walk the whole way...


So, what would any drunken lazy ass do in a situation like this?! Get a ride on one of those stupid bike-taxi things?! You BETCHA! But here's the thing...I was down to $10. So I asked the guy how much it would be to get to the Hyatt?! He says, "Oh...uh about $20!" So I tell him to take me halfway. Wheeeeee, they might look fucking ridiculous, but it was kinda fun!


So that's about it.

Oh, well...I guess there is one lil' detail I forgot to mention. I kinda ran into Hal Sparks (Best Week Ever, Queer As Folk) on the street corner, but you don't want to hear about that...


Here's the remaining photos that I forgot to work into the post earlier...

Gorillaz figures...if anyone has $150 just laying around and wants to buy me these, I'll love you long time!


Jon took me to IKEA to buy home furinshing shit and we came across these two-packs of animals...that...were..in odd positions...


If it wasn't bad enough that PIXAR is using this fucker in their next movie, this thing will be in EVERY Wal-Mart come Christmas...yes, a talking Larry The Cable Guy doll.


Funniest shirt at the con had to be this one..."Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten."

SAN DIEGO COMICON!!!

Alright, where to begin?! I guess I'll just throw photos up here and comment on them. Begining with...

They were handing these out to EVERYONE this year. I mean, at least I do get some work published through various newspapers and whatnot...the "Pro Line" was like a city block long this year. In-sane.

I flew out on Wednesday (for Preview Night) on Southwest. I swear to God, our pilot ended the flight by annoucing, "Please keep your seatbelts locked until the flight is terminated." I was waiting for a "Oh, and DEATH TO AMERICA..." I mean, who fucking says THAT on an airplane?!

So anyway, Daniel and I check into our hotel (the Wyndham downtown) which I had never stayed at before. In fact, all I knew about it was that I could drive straight through it in Midnight Club 3...and it had green neon on the top of it. Turns out, it had green neon everywhere...


So we ended up going to Preview Night, waiting in the Pro Line for like an hour at least and walking around the hall for maybe 45 minutes or so. Then, Daniel and I met up with Hector Casanova and Steven Sanders (other KC comic artists) and spending waaaaaay too much money in a hotel bar. ($12.00 for a lukewarm cheeseburger and cold fries?! Fuck you, very much!)


That was pretty much for Wednesday...Thursday we got up and headed on down to the McDonalds on the way to the convention center. And the only reason I even mention that is because every single time I visit a McDonalds in California, they always have some futuristic shit going on. Two years ago it was using your ATM card to pay for your food and this year it was this...

Yes...order your McFood ONLINE! What kind of a fucking hurry are you in that you can't wait in line at a FAST FOOD resturant?! Ugh, 45 seconds?! I want it NOW!!!! I can't wait for this shit to hit the Midwest. "But, I ordered my McRib off the fancy box!"

Thursday night I got together with my friend Jon. He's in the Navy and I really should've kept my mouth shut when it came to George W Bush and how he's fucking this country in the ass. I mean, the guy is KINDA the whole "Commander In Chief" thing and I sensed Jon just being quiet and waiting for me to talk about something ELSE...

He took me to the Yardhouse which gets it's name from these beer glasses they have that are seriously a YARD long...no, I didn't buy one. My penis isn't big enough to attempt something like that, so instead I drank my Tecate and listened to Jon's love problems.


Friday was fun. I had met most of the publishers I needed to try and impress and began to just walk around and have fun on Friday. No, no one was "dying to pick up Foxymoron" but that's okay. This was the first year I was trying to "sell myself" and honestly, it would've been odd to get a comic gig right off the start. Besides, It all adds up to help my "strugling artist" image...

I met Matt Groening, yes again. I try and run into him every year. I fucking love the bastard. I mean, he creates the Simpsons, makes more money than God and STILL puts out Life in Hell every single week. Pure love for the artform...Oh, and check out these cool Life in Hell vinyl figures that may or may not be coming out soon...


Friday night is was time to head off to the Hyatt where all the "industry types" hang out. I met up with Jamie Rich (confessions123.blogspot.com) and Kelly Sue (kellysue.com) plus tons of other cool people. Ieven bought Jamie a drink, which might have been a mistake, because he kept grabbing my ass and/or picking me up the rest of the trip. Molly told me before I left for the trip to "Do whatever it takes to get a job" and I guess he heard her somehow...but he's not even an editor any more, just a writer. So I think that would do more damage than good...

Saturday started off with the SUPERMAN RETURNS panel with Bryan Singer. You have no idea how AMAZING this film is going to be. The lead actor, Brandon Routh or whoever, NAILS the whole "Christopher Reeve's Clark Kent." He plays it as an homage, not just "here's me acting like Christopher Reeves." They showed a 2 minute trailer and as soon as it hits the net, you will see how this thing is going to be HUGE! It sucks that it won't be out until NEXT Summer...they'll probably have more about it at next year's con...

I also spent plenty of time on Saturday taking my favorite photos...Costumed Characters Doing Ordinary Things! Here are my favorites:

Batman has to have his mom come pick him up, I guess...

I guess them commercials ain't paying the Blue Man Group enough...

Hey, Jedi Pilots need comics and action figures too!!!!

Even Stormtroopers need a smoke break...

Poor Cap'n America...with the Nazi killed and gone, he's got to pay the bills SOMEHOW...


Okay...that's it for now...I'll post more pics later on. But I think that's enough nerdfest for you for right now.

NEW RULES

Stop by your local bookstore and buy BILL MAHER'S new book, NEW RULES on your way home from work...

You'll be mighty glad you did.

TWO THINGS...

#1. Is there a better song than "ISLANDS IN THE STREAM" by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton?! (the answer is no.)

AND

#2. Please wish me luck out in San Diego. Fuck world peace and goodwill towards men...I WANNA GET A COMIC BOOK GIG!!!

I promise to bring back lots-o-photos and maybe some Fish Tacos. GAG!
~Travis.

FUCKIN FLIP FLOPPERS!!!

Remember that "Flip Flop" shit when John Kerry was running for President?!

My how the times change...

White House Won't Comment on Rove, Leak
(AP)

For two years, the White House has insisted that presidential adviser Karl Rove had nothing to do with the leak of a CIA officer's identity. And President Bush said the leaker would be fired.

But Bush's spokesman wouldn't repeat any of those assertions Monday in the face of Rove's own lawyer saying his client spoke with at least one reporter about Valerie Plame's role at the CIA before she was identified in a newspaper column.

Rove described the woman to a reporter as someone who "apparently works" at the CIA, according to an e-mail obtained by Newsweek magazine.

White House press secretary Scott McClellan refused to discuss the matter at two news briefings Monday. He said he would not comment because the leak is the focus of a federal criminal investigation.

"The prosecutors overseeing the investigation had expressed a preference to us that one way to help the investigation is not to be commenting on it from this podium," McClellan said in response to a barrage of questions about Rove and the previous White House denials.

"I'm well aware, like you, of what was previously said," McClellan said. "And I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time." He said the appropriate time would be when the investigation is completed.

MMMMMM...T.V.

Taking a lil' break from working on my comic tonight, I enjoyed some mighty fine TV.

First up, THE SIMPSONS. I missed most of this season because Molly wants to watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition and I always forget to tape it. So this Summer has been filled with episodes that are new to me! Tonight's one was the "Fat Bart" episode and I had heard about how great it was. It was classic Simpsons! More often than not they've been going the "Family Guy--Let's Dumb Everything Down" route lately, but tonight's reminded me why I love this show so much. (Not to mention I fucking grew up with the damn thing. What is this? The 15th season?!)

Next was a terrific SIX FEET UNDER. I swear this show is getting better each week. They're taking their time which is amazing because they only have like a handful of episodes left...but I'm sooooo sucked in right now. I won't spoil anything because I know a couple of people who read this aren't up to date with the current season yet. But David's death tonight was a HUGE shocker! I mean, who saw that one coming?!

...just kidding, dumbasses.

No, it's just a great show and even though it deals with people at their very worst some times, I just enjoy the hell out of it. I'm glad they're going out on a high note and not dragging it on and on until Claire is going through Menopause.

Also, on a side note, I want to personally thank Conan for bringing back the WALKER, TEXAS RANGER clips. You can't EVER have enough of those fuckers. I can't wait until you replace that hack Leno and bring some justice to this world.

Oh, and American News Media, it's called a HURRICANE. They happen every fucking year and each time you act like this is THE ONE and devote 24-7 coverage to them. Although, I do understand. That White Girl missing in Aruba is kinda "last week" and there's no celebrities on trial, plus that bombing in London happend like TWO WHOLE DAYS ago, so what else would you possibly cover?!

SO YOU'VE DECIDED TO RUIN YOUR SKIN...

Yeah, I finally got me a tattoo. I figured I needed the "street cred" before hitting San Diego. And nothing says "street cred" like a 10 inch pink Unicorn tattoo! ROCK!

...oh alright, I didn't get that one...yet.

I was told to check out The Mercy Seat, (yes, named after the Nick Cave song) down on 16th Street in downtown KCMO. Hector's girlfriend, Renee, had worked with the artists at A1 Tattoo up in Gladstone and this was their first shop owned and operated by themselves. It was fantastic! A beautiful shop with tons of amazing artwork from both Hector and Renee all over the walls. Hector did this five foot painting of a woman holding a crow in her hands. Both are staring straight at you with real eyeballs and the bottom reads, "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PARANOID DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NOT WATCHING YOU." Truly eerie. I tried to take a photo but the fucking glass kept bouncing off a glare. So instead, settle for a look at Hector's "The Mercy Seat" logo made out of metal hanging in front of the door outside...



And here I'm giving the, "This ain't gonna hurt, right?!" face...



The artist was named Chet and was fucking unbelievably talented. I took him the image I wanted and told him that the shoelaces and negative space on the bombs are so small that he doesn't have to put those into the tattoo if it would make it easier. Chet said he liked being as detailed as possible and fucking nailed it! Even though the photo is kinda blurry, you can see both if you look close...




In the end it didn't really hurt too much and I'm already thinking of where else I can permanently ruin my skin....

TERRORISTS SUCK!

...and not as in, "Foxymoron Sucks!"

I'm talking reeeeeeally fucking evil. Like "don't collect your $200 on your way to Hell" kind of evil.

My heart goes out to London.

Perhaps if we didn't have our dicks stuck in Iraq we could help you catch the people ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE. But hey, if you wanna go invade Cuba instead, we're game...

FIVE DAY WEEKEND!!!

As soon as I'm off work today, I don't return until Thursday of next week! Fuck yeah, FREEDOM'S ON THE MARCH!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA INDEED!!!

Tonight Molly and Lex head on down to Joplin, Missouri to visit my Nana & Papa. They're my mom's parents and since she died about 12 years ago, I'm about the only family member to visit them. My mom was an only child, so all they have is just me and my brother...and he's usually too busy to drive three hours down to Southern Missouri to see him. Things got nice and tense when my father remarried, so they don't even speak anymore.

Anyway, I'm excited to see them. My Nana reminds me of my mom, (naturally) and I love spending time with her. Molly gets along with them better than with her own grandparents and of course they LOVE being around Lex. We'll spend tonight and Sunday night and then head back to KC on the 4th...

Ah, the 4th. Quite possibly the weirdest holiday. Nothing like getting really drunk and lighting explosives. Although, last year was the last of the illegal fireworks. My dad, bless his heart, loves to go ALL OUT. If that means buying Class Four fireworks, (the kind that parks and public places use for their displays) and five foot metal tubes to shoot them out of, well by God he's going to do it!

We, (my brother, and a co-worker Daniel) were about an hour into the Backyard Firework Spectacular 2004 when the big 5-0 showed up. It was something else...the cops were stunned we even HAD these Class Four explosives and started demanding where exactly we had gotten them?!

Enter my drunken father, stumbling out to the backyard. (My parents live in Shawnee, Kansas and have about 3 acres of land behind their house...so it took him awhile.)

"Good evening, officers! Happy "
"Sir, are you aware these are Class Four explosives?"
"Um, really? I just thought they were fireworks..."
"Sir, it is a felony to be in possession of these."
"Whoa...really? Oh..."
"Sir, where did you purchase these from?"
"Uhhhhhh..."
"An individual or a store?"
"An individual..."
"Do you have the person's name?"
"No, I never got it..."
"Can you give us a description of what he looks like?"
"Um, it was dark..."

Needless to say this went back and forth for awhile. My dad didn't want to rat out his buyer because it was one of his best friends and the police didn't really press him too hard, because he obviously was drunk. My dad is on Chemo for his brain tumor and alcohol really makes him wacky. All in all, he had to go to court, pay like a $1000 fine and if caught with Class Four explosives ever again, he might do jail time...

So SPARKLERS it is!!!

What will I be up to on Tuesday and Thursday?

Getting this done.

Since Molly isn't able to go to San Diego this year, my main purpose is to GET A COMIC JOB! Nothing fancy...maybe just a one-shot or a 200 page graphic novel with foil collectible cover...like I said, nothing fancy.

San Diego is seriously right around the corner and I need to get my portfolio together. I have tons of stuff from my feelance and spot illustrations...not to mention the comic strips I've been doing for the Kansas City Star. I'm going to be hanging out with my friends Hector and Daniel who will also be trying to get some work too.

Hopefully I can at least get their scraps...

HECTOR CASANOVA MUST BE KILLED

Hector's one of my best friends here in KC, but god damn, he's too good for his...own...good?! Uh anyway, just look at this piece he did for the Kansas City Star. Makes me hang my head in shame...damn Mexicans are taking over everything...



Interesting side note...the paper considered it too controversial and refused to run in in the Preview section (where they run my strip and movie reviews and whatnot) and MIGHT run it in the Opinion section down the line. I don't think Hector's holding his breath...

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE

I dunno if everyone reads this comic or not, but this week in particular is some of the funniest reads in the entire newspaper! (Aside from Bush's Address the other night...)

Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.