BURNIN' THE FLAG, BURNIN' THE FLAG...
This week our Senators are going to vote to pass a "flag-burning amendment" to the Constitution. Then, late next week, they plan on passing a "Puppies are adorable" amendment and, if they have time, a slightly controversal "Miller Light is indeed Less Filling and not Tastes Great" amendment. Like I said, only if they have time.
If you're one of those, "But...but Travis, burning our flag is HORRRRRRIBLE and it SHOULD be in the Constitution" types, just keep reading.
See, I was curious to see exactly how many cases of flag-burning happened last year. I mean, if it's truly "out of hand" and "in need of our Senator's assistance" it's got to be in the hundreds...if not thousands...right?
Sure enough, flag-burning was on the rise this year. In fact, it jumped 33% from last year!
Yes, the number of flag-burning incidents has jumped to FOUR, from THREE.
...wait...four?! FOUR CASES?! We need a flag-burning AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION because something happens four times a year?!
But it'll pass. Our spineless Senators don't want to vote against something like "BURNING THE AMERICAN FLAG" and have that thrown at them when re-election time comes rolling around.
Then, after it passes, the sky will open up, Jesus will come down, lions and lambs will lay down in peace and Iraq will still be falling apart, North Korea will still be crazier than shit, Iran will still be building nukes, our education system and health care system will be in the toilet, and our enviroment will still be crumbling.
...but...but our precious flag will be SAVED!!!!!!
at 1:15 PM