NOW WITH VIDEO...UNTIL CBS TAKES IT DOWN...
To celebrate the 15th anniversary of Bill Hicks' death, David Letterman is going to air the 6 minute "censored" bit for the first time ever. TONIGHT!!! (Fun fact, Bill Hicks was only the second person ever to be censored inside the Ed Sullivan Theater...the first was a man named Elvis Presley?!)
The great Aaron Barnhart does a nice write-up on his blog, but for those of you who have no idea who Bill Hicks was or why his bit was canceled, lemme tell you, you're going to want this tonight. Trust me.
He deals with homosexuality, the way it's "gross" that two men want to kiss but "hott" when two women do it. "You know, I consider myself an open-minded person. But speaking of homosexuality, something has come to my attention that has shocked even me, Have you heard about these new grade school books for children they're trying to add to the curriculum, to help children understand the gay lifestyle. One's called Heather's Two Mommies and the other is called Daddy's New Roommate. Folks, I gotta draw the line here and say this is absolutely disgusting. It is grotesque, and it is pure evil. (pause) I'm talking, of course, about Daddy's New Roommate...Heather's Two Mommies is quite fetching!"
He flat out attacks pro-lifers, "You know what bugs me about them? If you're so pro-life, do me a favor - don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries. I want to see pro-lifers with crowbars at funerals opening caskets - "get out!" Then I'd be really impressed by their mission."
And my absolute favorite bit he ever did, the Easter Bunny...
"I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note that they celebrate Easter the same way as we do - commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. I wonder why we're so messed up as a race? You know, I've read the Bible - can't find the words "bunny" or "chocolate" in the whole book. Where do we get this stuff from? And why those two things? Why not "goldfish left Lincoln logs in our sock drawers"? I mean, as long as we are making things up, why not go hog wild?"
The man was soooooooo ahead of his time, and I can't wait to actually see him perform this on Letterman tonight, 15 years after he left us.
I love how he baits the audience into clapping for the "Schools including the homosexual books" bit. Some people online are claiming that Bill himself was against homosexuals, but those people have obviously never heard his routine...