HAUNTED HOUSE COMIC!!!

As promised...although it won't run in The Kansas City Star until NEXT Thursday. Damn writers...don't they realize us artists need more room than they do?! Anyway, feel free to consider this a SNEAK PEEK!!! (Ooooooh, so sneaky!)

MIKE BROWN...SUPERHERO?!

From CNN.com

Former FEMA chief Michael Brown today blamed Louisiana's leaders for dragging their heels last month as Hurricane Katrina approached the Gulf Coast. Brown told a congressional panel he couldn't make state or local officials do anything. "I guess you want me to be the superhero that is going to step in there and suddenly take everybody out of New Orleans."

Hmmm, I'm kinda a comic book fan myself, but for the life of me I can't remember which comic superhero it is that takes FOUR FUCKING DAYS to rescue somebody.

SLOTHMAN, perhaps?!

That Michael Brown...what a dick. (and not a big horse one either.)

NEIL YOUNG * PRAIRIE WIND

Since we're low on funds, I was only able to buy one CD this week, (The horror!!) but it was a beautiful choice. Neil Young has been on a hit-or-miss streak with the last few albums. Last one I loved start to finish was SILVER AND GOLD and this one is up near that album. I have only had a chance to sample tracks here and there during my lunchbreak today, but it's damn beautiful and sweet. Young wrote and recorded most of these tracks before heading into surgery for a brain aneurysm. So, I imagine he MIGHT'VE been thinking, "better say what I need to say." As someone who is constantly thinking that death is right around the corner, I'll tell you that life is best when you just take chances and clear your thoughts. Let people know they mean the most to you and have no regrets. That's why Prairie Wind strikes me so deep.

Songs like, "Here For You" are simple and lovely.

"When your summer days come tumbling down
And you find yourself alone
Then you can come back and be with me
Just close your eyes and I'll be there
Listen to the sound
Of this old heart beating for you
Yes I'd miss you
But I never want to hold you down
You might say I'm here for you"

And "Falling Off the Face of The Earth" again is basically saying goodbye to loved ones. But also letting them know they mean so much to him.

"I just want to thank you
For all of the things you've done
I'm thinking about you
I just want to send my love
I send my best to you
That's my message of love
For all the things you did
I can never thank you enough

Feel like I'm falling
Falling off the face of the earth"

Yeah, really uplifting lyrics, right?! Hey, I'm a sucker for this stuff. I constantly feel like I need to call up friends and tell them how much I appreciate their friendship. But you know, how often do any of us do that? C'mon, we got important things to do! We (heart) Katamari ain't going to play ITSELF!!!

Anyway, the album is fucking great. Not exactly the most exciting thing ever released, but fills the "nice and relaxing" mood quite nicely. I'll leave you with the lyrics to "When God Made Me." It was the song he performed at the Katrina benefit and is powerful stuff. I wish I could write like this...

Was he thinking about my country
Or the colour of my skin?
Was he thinking about my religion
And the way I worshipped him?
Did he create just me in His image
Or every living thing?
When God made me
When God made me

Was He planning only for believers
Or for those who just had faith?
Did he envision all the wars
That were fought in His name?
Did he think there was only one way
To be close to Him?
When God made me
When God made me

Did He give us the gift of love
To say that we could choose?
When God made me
When God made me


Did He give me the gift of voice
So some could silence me?
Did He give me the gift of vision
Not knowing what I might see?
Did He give me the gift of compassion
To help my fellow men?
When God made me
When God made me

LAUGHING IS GOOD.

If you missed EXTRAS last night, you offically suck. Okay, maybe some of you don't have HBO, maybe some of you don't like British People, and maaaaaaybe some of you just don't like to laugh your ass off. But seriously, don't make me hate you. WATCH THIS SHOW! (Go visit the website and watch some clips if you're bored at work)

And I think I love the fact that ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is on Mondays now. At first, I was like, "But...but I like it on Sunday." But now I know better. It's a better slot on Monday evenings and let's hope America catches on...dumbasses.

WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE?!

First off, everyone go here and download the new Strokes single. I'm sure Jamie will hate it, but he hates everything and shouldn't ruin our fun. Damn good song and nice to see they're reaching outside the "garage sound" a bit. Good luck getting the "WHY WON'T YOU COME OVER HERE" part outta your head...suckers.

Second off, this is way too adictive. And it's not just because it's the President falling. It's got some amazing effects going on there. And if he gets stuck, just move him with your mouse.

HAUNTED HOUSES

Tonight I get to visit some Haunted Houses for The Kansas City Star. I've kind of been a "reporter" for them the last couple of months, only instead of writing stories, they have me do a comic strip about the places I go visit.

It's incredible exposure and I get PAID too!

Anyway, here's the Haunted Houses I'm going to...

THE BEAST
THE EDGE OF HELL

I'll post the comic early next week...if I survive.

SERIOUSLY...

You can't make this shit up...

I (heart) CARTOONS.

Especially this one. I say I love it but in reality, Molly was the first one to watch it and Lex enjoys the hell out of it and I was the LAST ONE to be sucked into it's magical spell. It's smart, funny, and was created by Craig McCracken...the same guy who created Powerpuff Girls! He has an amazing sense of design that really makes or breaks a cartoon. I don't care how funny Spongebob might be...I can't get past the hideous design.

Anyway, feel free to check out the link. It's a really cute show about a boy named Mac and all the Immaginary Friends that live in the house. You can even get yourself an immaginary friend on the website...if you're really, really bored. But they have a couple of cute clips and games on there that you can totally check out while at work...or so I've been told.

MUSIC IS MY DRUG

I've been listening to some damn fine albums lately. For starters, THE ROLLING STONES BIGGER BANG is waaaay better than it should've been. Track for track it's amazingly strong and proves that even though you're 107 years old, you're never too old to shake your ya-yas.


DAVID GRAY LIFE IN SLOW MOTION is also very, very, very good. A great album to listen to while driving around the town at night with the windows down and the junebugs slamming into your teeth. Seriously, don't these bugs have a calendar?! It's September, dumbasses!!!


Upcoming releases that look promising include the new (one of like three he's going to release this year) one from RYAN ADAMS. So far,I've just heard the single "The Hardest Part" off of iTunes, but it's old country-rockibilly and Travis likey that very much.


NEIL YOUNG PRAIRIE WIND is shaping up to be one of his best. I love the fact that these legends are continuing to make the best music of their careers in this stage in their life. Gives me hope that I could keep making great art well into my elder years. Yeah, I just compared myself to musical greats...shut it.

I GET REVIEWED.

And it's POSITIVE?! I knew those $50's stapled to the inside cover would work to my benefit.

Here's a sample of the review:

Foxymoron is a mix of daily life observational humor and some of the angriest (and dead-on) political humor I've seen this side of The Daily Show. Most of these issues are pre-election, and so have an optimism to go with the anger that we were only going to have to deal with four years of this bullshit (I was just longing for those more optimistic days myself), but there's also a ton of anger aimed at the Iraq War, the pre-election apathy and all the rest of the Bush Administration crap that has become daily routine for us suffering moderates and liberals. Better yet, it's anger tempered with facts and a wicked sense of humor. Because these strips are older, a lot of the points that Fox is making have been made elsewhere, and there are occasions where it feels like the easy joke, but it's not hard to appreciate arguing with someone who can only respond with bumper sticker slogans or the hypocrisy and assumptions that drive so many involved in the "culture war."

HURRICANE TELETHONS

Last night's SHELTER FROM THE STORM was pretty good. Of course there were some not-so-hot performances, but it was for a great cause and all in all was nice. Neil Young's amazing new song, "When God Made Me" was the highlight of the evening for me. That song is an instant classic and I thought for sure it was a cover...it was so god damn powerful, right up there with "Imagine." Yeah, I just said that...it is!!

Anyway, tonight is MTV-VH1's turn and the turnout looks to be even MORE incredible! As of 2PM Central time, the line-up is as follows:

REACT NOW! 8pm-11pm Eastern MTV VH1 CMT


3 Doors Down
Audioslave
Fiona Apple
David Banner
Beck
Chester Bennington
Big & Rich
Bon Jovi
Marc Broussard
Kelly Clarkson
Coldplay
Common
Sheryl Crow
Dashboard Confessional
Melissa Etheridge
Goo Goo Dolls
Good Charlotte
Green Day
Emmylou Harris
Alan Jackson
Jewel
Elton John
Norah Jones
Kid Rock
Alicia Keys
Chris Thomas King
Linkin Park
George Lopez
Dave Matthews Band
Maroon 5
John Mayer
Paul McCartney
John Mellencamp
Motley Crue
The Neville Brothers
Pearl Jam
Dennis Quaid
The Radiators
Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Rolling Stones
Trent Reznor
Simple Plan
Lynyrd Skynrd
Staind
Jon Stewart
Sugarland
Rob Thomas
Allen Toussaint
U2
Usher
Kanye West
Hank Williams Jr.
Brian Wilson
Gretchen Wilson
Neil Young
Buckwheat Zydeco

It should be good. I mean, they woke up Kid Rock for this! Hot damn!!!

THE BLAME GAME

Scott Scott beebo bot
Banana fana fo fot
Fee fi fo foooooot
Scooooott!!!

Scott McLiarpants, the White House press secretary, and David Gregory, reporter that suddenly found his balls, go at it in this clip.

Oh boy...the Blam Game sucks, who wants to play Hungry Hungry Hippos?!

GO FUCK YOURSELF, MR. CHENEY!

Just happened on live TV...Dick Cheney is trying to talk to reporters and in the background you hear someone shout, "GO FUCK YOURSELF, MR. CHENEY! GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

CNN's reporter asks Cheney, "Are you getting a lot of that Mr. Vice President?"

Cheney replies, "First time I've heard it., Must be a friend of John..., er, ah - never mind.."

PRICELESS...act like it was a political attack, sir...not a personal one you dumbass. It was probably just some hippy pinko Liberal and not someone who lost everything while your boss played guitar.

What a fucker.

CAUSE IF YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, THEY'RE NOT DEAD...

************
FEMA Wants No Photos of Dead
From Reuters

NEW ORLEANS — The U.S. agency leading Hurricane Katrina rescue efforts said Tuesday that it does not want the news media to photograph the dead as they are recovered.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency, heavily criticized for its slow response to the devastation caused by the hurricane, rejected journalists' requests to accompany rescue boats searching for storm victims.

An agency spokeswoman said space was needed on the rescue boats.

"We have requested that no photographs of the deceased be made by the media," the spokeswoman said in an e-mail.
*************

I (heart) KEITH OLBERMANN

If you're not watching COUNTDOWN on MSNBC you're truly missing out on one of the greatest newspeople in the entire media. Here's his commentary from last night...and it's everything I wish I was smart enough to say...

SECAUCUS — Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said it all, starting his news briefing Saturday afternoon: "Louisiana is a city that is largely underwater..."

Well there's your problem right there.

If ever a slip-of-the-tongue defined a government's response to a crisis, this was it.

The seeming definition of our time and our leaders had been their insistence on slashing federal budgets for projects that might’ve saved New Orleans. The seeming characterization of our government that it was on vacation when the city was lost, and could barely tear itself away from commemorating V.J. Day and watching Monty Python's Flying Circus, to at least pretend to get back to work. The seeming identification of these hapless bureaucrats: their pathetic use of the future tense in terms of relief they could’ve brought last Monday and Tuesday — like the President, whose statements have looked like they’re being transmitted to us by some kind of four-day tape-delay.

But no. The incompetence and the ludicrous prioritization will forever be symbolized by one gaffe by of the head of what is ironically called “The Department of Homeland Security”: “Louisiana is a city…”

Politician after politician — Republican and Democrat alike — has paraded before us, unwilling or unable to shut off the "I-Me" switch in their heads, condescendingly telling us about how moved they were or how devastated they were — congenitally incapable of telling the difference between the destruction of a city and the opening of a supermarket.

And as that sorry recital of self-absorption dragged on, I have resisted editorial comment. The focus needed to be on the efforts to save the stranded — even the internet's meager powers were correctly devoted to telling the stories of the twin disasters, natural... and government-made.

But now, at least, it is has stopped getting exponentially worse in Mississippi and Alabama and New Orleans and Louisiana (the state, not the city). And, having given our leaders what we know now is the week or so they need to get their act together, that period of editorial silence I mentioned, should come to an end.

No one is suggesting that mayors or governors in the afflicted areas, nor the federal government, should be able to stop hurricanes. Lord knows, no one is suggesting that we should ever prioritize levee improvement for a below-sea-level city, ahead of $454 million worth of trophy bridges for the politicians of Alaska.

But, nationally, these are leaders who won re-election last year largely by portraying their opponents as incapable of keeping the country safe. These are leaders who regularly pressure the news media in this country to report the reopening of a school or a power station in Iraq, and defies its citizens not to stand up and cheer. Yet they couldn't even keep one school or power station from being devastated by infrastructure collapse in New Orleans — even though the government had heard all the "chatter" from the scientists and city planners and hurricane centers and some group whose purposes the government couldn't quite discern... a group called The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

And most chillingly of all, this is the Law and Order and Terror government. It promised protection — or at least amelioration — against all threats: conventional, radiological, or biological.

It has just proved that it cannot save its citizens from a biological weapon called standing water.

Mr. Bush has now twice insisted that, "we are not satisfied," with the response to the manifold tragedies along the Gulf Coast. I wonder which "we" he thinks he's speaking for on this point. Perhaps it's the administration, although we still don't know where some of them are. Anybody seen the Vice President lately? The man whose message this time last year was, 'I'll Protect You, The Other Guy Will Let You Die'?

I don't know which 'we' Mr. Bush meant.

For many of this country's citizens, the mantra has been — as we were taught in Social Studies it should always be — whether or not I voted for this President — he is still my President. I suspect anybody who had to give him that benefit of the doubt stopped doing so last week. I suspect a lot of his supporters, looking ahead to '08, are wondering how they can distance themselves from the two words which will define his government — our government — "New Orleans."

For him, it is a shame — in all senses of the word. A few changes of pronouns in there, and he might not have looked so much like a 21st Century Marie Antoinette. All that was needed was just a quick "I'm not satisfied with my government's response." Instead of hiding behind phrases like "no one could have foreseen," had he only remembered Winston Churchill's quote from the 1930's. "The responsibility," of government, Churchill told the British Parliament "for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. It is in fact, the prime object for which governments come into existence."

In forgetting that, the current administration did not merely damage itself — it damaged our confidence in our ability to rely on whoever is in the White House.

As we emphasized to you here all last week, the realities of the region are such that New Orleans is going to be largely uninhabitable for a lot longer than anybody is yet willing to recognize. Lord knows when the last body will be found, or the last artifact of the levee break, dug up. Could be next March. Could be 2100. By then, in the muck and toxic mire of New Orleans, they may even find our government's credibility.

Somewhere, in the City of Louisiana.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE

Attention Everyone,

You MUST go to http://www.americablog.blogspot.com and read the posts this guy is bringing to our attention. Take your pick, it's going to blow you mind. Some examples:

*Chicago offered help on SUNDAY and was refused?!

*National Guardsmen were playing cards while people died?!

*Bush faked a levee repair for a photo-op?!

This is like conspiracy type shit, right?! I mean, this cannot be the truth...can it?!

Unfortunately it is true. And it makes me so god damn ashamed of my country right now. What more will it fucking take to get this incompetent President driven out of office?! Can some whore PLEASE give the man a blowjob so we can get a mother fucking hearing underway?!

Oh, and Chief Justice Rehnquist just died...so ladies, hurry up and get all of your rights gathered up so they can destroy them in a few months. And kids, break out your one and only textbook from now on, The Bible! Can I get an Amen?!

Someone just wake me up when things are back to normal...

MORE VIDEO...

Kanye West tells America "George Bush doesn't care about black people" last night on the NBC Hurricane Relief special.

DailyKos brings this video to our attention...along with the transcript:
***************
Bush to women: "There's a Salvation Army center that I want to, that I'll tell you where it is, and they'll get you some help. I'm sorry.... They'll help you.....

Woman 1: "I came here looking for clothes..."

Bush: "They'll get you some clothes, at the Salvation Army center..."

Woman 1: "We don't have anything..."

Bush: "I understand.... Do you know where the center is, that I'm talking to you about?"

Guy with shades: "There's no center there, sir, it's a truck."

Bush: "There's trucks?"

Guy: "There's a school, a school about two miles away....."

Bush: "But isn't there a Salvation center down there?"

Guy: "No that's wiped out...."

Bush: "A temporary center? "

Guy: "No sir they've got a truck there, for food."

Bush: "That's what I'm saying, for food and water."

Bush turns to the sister who's been saying how she needs clothes.

Bush to sister: "You need food and water."
**************

And finally, even FOX NEWS reporters are pissed off and speaking out...

GOOD NIGHT & GOOD LUCK

All right...a small break from the depressing news...

George Clooney's next film, GOOD NIGHT & GOOD LUCK, has it's trailer online finally.

Check it out...it's purrrrty.

TWO MORE VIDEOS...

www.crooksandliars.com has always been an excellent source of news footage that you probably (if you're like me and work all damn day) miss out on. Today they have two amazing videos that EVERYONE needs to view for themselves.

The first is of our President on Good Morning America this morning. I know I'm awfully critical of the man, but is there ANYTHING HE WON'T SMIRK AT?! Fucking asshole. Diane Sawyer is asking him about the relief efforts that are non-existent at this point and he chuckles about it. I'm not kidding...watch it for yourself! People are dying Mr. President, and I fail to see what's funny about it.

The second one is of one of my favorite anchors on CNN, John Cafferty. He nails the entire situation head on and says EXACTLY what I'd say if I had airtime and not a blog that no one reads.

This is one of the saddest situations in our Nation's history and I cannot believe how it's not affecting more people.

SADDEST THING EVER...

Go here and watch the video, "People are dying in front of us."

Then do something.