TOP 10 TV SHOWS OF 2006!

10. HEROES
Sort of a poor man's "LOST." It's an interesting premise, but chooses style over substance. Molly loves it, I catch most of it here and there as I hurry to meet my deadlines for The Kansas City Star on Monday evenings. I think it's only gotten better since it's so-so season premere and certainly has a lot of promise, it just haven't got me "extremely excited" thus far.


9. COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
Normally I wouldn't include daily shows like Letterman or The Daily Show, but this is too damn important to leave off the list. If you want your news with hard hitting commentary and a touch of humor (and tongue in cheek Fox News bashing) you really need to check it out nightly on MSNBC at 7pm.


8. 30 DAYS
Only six episodes a season and it still packs more of a punch than most televison shows could even hope to accomplish. Taking the idea of Super Size Me and changing your daily life for 30 entire days, Morgan Spurlock uses this series to put people from different ends of the spectrum and puts them in each other's shoes. He took a Minuteman (the guys who guard the border and hate illegal immigrants) and forced him to live with a family of illegals out in Southern California. Took an Atheist and made her live with a family of Born Again Christians. And, for the season finale, spent 30 days locked up in prison. It's one of the few shows on TV that enlightens and entertains at the exact same time.


7. EXTRAS
No, it's not as good as The Office, but dammit if it ain't just as bittersweet. Ricky Gervais nails both humor and lonely loveless fools in yet another amazing series. Season two starts in a couple of weeks on HBO...try not to miss it this time!


6. STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
Entertainment Weekly listed this as one of the WORST shows of 2006. There's plenty of other critics that are throwing in the towel and leaving this series before it's first season is even finished. Listen, I understand that the sketches aren't funny, it's a tad too "important" at times, but the last few episodes before it went on hiatus were absolutely brilliant. Especially the Christmas episode! I love the characters, the view of behind the scenes of a television show, and dare I say it, the writing! Screw the critics, this is going to become one of the best shows on TV by the end of it's run.


5. BIG LOVE
I'll be honest...I didn't expect to like this one. I gave it a couple of episodes and felt kind of "meh." But Molly really enjoyed it and about four episodes in, it "clicked." Big Love runs at a different pace than normal shows. It doesn't have huge "events" or "twists and turns" like a lot of other HBO series...but it's damn good. It'll grow on you...and if you're lucky, your wife will totally let you bring home two other girls "to help love the Lord!"


4. THE OFFICE
I've said it before and I'll say it again...this wasn't supposed to be that good! We all know what happens when America tries to take BBC shows and destroy them...but dammit, the writers and actors have turned one of my favorite TV series of all time into a strong, yet different US comedy! It came sooooooo close to being a shit-canned 6 episode failure...then NBC gave it another chance, iTunes began selling episodes at a lightning pace and now it's the best comedy on TV! (Earl? Who's that?!)


3. LOST
Say what you will about the first six episodes earlier this year, but last season was fucking television at it's finest! The introducton of "Henry Gale" was exactly what this show needed. And even if almost all of the "Tailies" lasted all of about ten episodes, I think the rest of season three has plenty of tricks up it's sleeve!


2. 24
Five seasons and each gets even better than the last. If you've never gotten into this fast-paced, back to back new episodes with absolutely no repeats, show where anything can and will happen...you have no idea how amazing network television can truly be. This show is the greatest thing to ever come out of a silly idea. "Real time? 24 episodes with each one being an hour long?" Who knew that it would be handled with such care and intensity. I can't wait for the movie to come along and fuck everything up...


1. THE WIRE
So many different friends and family members told me to check out this show...so when my Comcast Cable had the entire season four OnDemand, I figured I'd give it a shot. Truly intense, riveting characters and one of the realest views of everything that happens within an inner city...The Wire is seriously the ONE SHOW you cannot miss. Above all others on this list, go rent the DVDs and get your ass educated! Best part, since each seasons starts with a new direction, you can pretty much jump in anywhwere and follow along at your own pace.

TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2006!

10. THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
This one wasn't "black comedy" enough for me. Sure, the scene above you have a man protecting the cigarette industry by telling an audience that it's in their best interests to keep this kid with Cancer alive and smoking...but overall I felt like it was missing it's "bite." Not a bad movie in the least, just wished it didn't hold back. Maybe the whole subplot with the kid ruined it for me...who knows.


9. WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?
Proved my point that Big Oil owns everything to do with the automobile industry...and kept Molly awake! So that's a win-win! You go into the movie not knowing much about the Electric Car (they were only LEASED to a select few in California) and leave with this sinking feeling that we might be closer to weening ourselves off foreign oil by now if we could've kept the pressure on the car companies. Also, I knew Cheney and Bush and Andy Card were all tied to the Oil Lobbies...but who knew Condi Rice was as well?! Just makes the case that the only "energy policy" we're going to get until 2008 is either "Coal" or "Drill the Fuck outta Alaska!"


8. FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
If "Letters From Iwo Jima had opened here this year, this wouldn't be on the list. It wasn't a bad movie...but from what I hear, Iwo Jima is everything this film was, only tighter and more precise. This one seems to have a heavy influence on narration and flashbacks. Plus, it tries to cover a ton of ground in not only showing you what happened on the island, but following the soliders back to their cilvian lives. It was an eye-opening look into what our country will do to boost morale. It's funny to think that we have alwasy been as sneaky and sloppy as we are now...it's just that shit was easier to manipulate back then.


7. V FOR VENDETTA
I loved this movie. I don't care if it was more action than story or didn't exactly follow the book. It was powerful and had some of the most breathtaking action sequences of the year. Oh, and bald chicks are hott.


6. WHY WE FIGHT
Every school should be forced to show this documentary to it's students. It's something that we need to get instilled into the brains of future generations...the notion of why we go to war and what can be done to prevent it. It's odd and yet satisfying that a former Army General turned President would use his last Address to the Nation to warn us of the Military Complex. That after defeating the Nazis in WWII, we wouldn't need to continue to build up our weaponary and military forces against an enemy that didn't exsist. And yet, that's exactly what we've done to this very day. This is easily my pick for "SEE IT NOW" compared to anything else on the list.


5. THE PRESTIGE
Nothing is worse that knowing a movie has a "trick ending" in store for you and just spending the entire movie trying to figure it out. Christopher Nolan has made a career out of making the type of films that have twists and turns and keep you so entralled that he manages to stay one step ahead. The Prestige is his latest masterpiece and was one of the best times I had all year inside of the movie theater. Every single performance was perfect, and you know you're in for a treat when David Bowie just shows up as dessert! The entire film is one giant magic trick where everything is right in front of your eyes and yet the slight of hand deceives you right up until the final frame.


4. UNITED 93
Here's a film that everyone needs to see and that no one wants to. It made a tiny dent in the box office and every person I reccomended the film to gave me the, "Eh, I don't think I can watch that." face. It's shot like a documentary, has nobody actors, uses a lot of real life people to play themselves, and stays with you long after the movie is over. Fuck Alan Jackson, watch this film and make sure you "haven't forgotten."


3. THE DEPARTED
Saw this with my buudy Jon a couple months ago. We both were "eh" about buying tickets for it. Nothing screamed "you have to see this!" and honestly, if there had been anything else that would've caught our eyes, we probably would have skipped it. But luckily, we sat down and saw what will probably win Best Picture of the Year. It has plenty of twists and turns and great acting throughout the entire thing. But most of all, it has that "bite" that Thank You For Smoking was lacking. This movie pulls no punches. It's loud, it's messy, and god damn is it violent. You see more headshots and blood splatter here than your average horror film. It's exactly the type of movie that Scorsese needed to make to ensure he gets his fucking Oscar. Or else, expect him to shoot some mother fuckers in their god damn cake holes.


2. BORAT
What can I even say about this one? Sasha Baron Cohen is our Andy Kaufman and this is his masterpiece. The fact that this even got made, became a phenomenon, and shed some light under America's underbelly is enough to make my head spin. I have never laughed longer or harder in a movie theater...ever. I can only imagine the amazing DVD that we get to look forward to in a couple months!


1. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
The little movie that could. Yeah, it's ending was a lil' letdown, but the adventure that got us there was worth every penny. The best ensemble in recent memory captured on screen combined with a fresh idea for a "road picture" made this my favorite film of the year. It was so simple, so touching, so amazing in every sense of the word. It made you cherish your family, no matter how fucked up they may be.

MOVIES THAT WE DIDN"T GET TO SEE YET SINCE WE LIVE IN A COWTOWN: (therefore didn't make the list)
* PAN'S LABYRINTH
* THE GOOD GERMAN
* CHILDREN OF MEN
* LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA

FILM I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SEE, BUT COULDN'T FIND THE TIME BEFORE IT ALREADY LEFT THE THEATERS:
*THE FOUNTAIN

WORST WASTES OF FILM (and my time) OF THE YEAR: (tie)
* LADY IN THE WATER...wow. What the fuck was that about?! Rented it for free and still wanted my money back.
* ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL...seriously...was good up until the "murder mystery" bullshit.

FINAL EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!

This was a Christmas promo piece over in the UK for The Simpsons from back in 2004. So either watch it here or wait for the Season 12 DVD set like three years from now...your choice, sucker!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #5

A great piece of commentary about the hypocrisies between the evangelical preachers on TV and the real meaning of Christmas (and Christ.)

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #4

I know most of these are from Saturday Night Live, but this is really one of my all-time favorites. It aired just a few short months after 9-11, and still packs a punch to this very day. We all needed this...BADLY.


THE NARRATOR WHO RUINED CHRISTMAS

OCEAN'S THIRTEEN!

New poster and teaser. Sweeeeeet!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #3

Old Saturday Night Live sketch with Matt Foley as a Mall Santa. This was easily my most cherished period of the show, from waaaaaay back when I was in Middle School. Early 90's SNL and The Simpsons truly formed my entire sense of humor. And man, I still really miss Chris Farley...

OUR GENUIS OF A PRESIDENT...

...is going to increase the size of the Army. Didn't Eisenhower warn us about this shit? I mean, who's the big evil empire we're up against now? The USSR? China? Iran? Cause it better not be the terrorists, because Iraq has made us safer!!! Don't you fuckers remember?! You only told it to us about 50 billion times!!!

...it all reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer and Chief Wiggum and others are digging a giant hole and getting deeper and deeper. Suddenly you hear Chef Wiggum shout, "Dig up, STUPID!"

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #2

This one is from South Park's Mr. Hankey's Christmas Special from a few years back. Santa and Jesus are singing each other's songs in some jazz bar when Santa ends up getting pissed because there's tons of songs about Jesus and just a handful about him. Plus the lil' Duran Duran bit he does is extra nice...

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT #1

Every day this week, I'm going to post something that I hope will help get you into the Christmas Spirit! Today's comes from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live. It's really, really funny and actually makes me like Justin Timberlake...maybe because Timbaland had nothing to do with it...or did he?!

And keep an open mind at the begining, because I was thinking to myself, "Wow, this could be extremely lame" right before rolling around in laughter!


(Not safe for work...probably)

I DON'T NORMALLY DO THIS...

I usually leave the Celebrity Gossip to better blogs, but this headline caught my eye and the story is fucking funny (without trying to be) as well...

Lohan: I haven't had a drink in a week

NEW YORK (AP) -- Lindsay Lohan says she's been going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for a year, but hasn't talked about it because "it's no one's business."

"I just left an AA meeting," the 20-year-old actress tells People magazine in a story posted Tuesday on its Web site.

"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything," she says. "I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull."

"I've been going to AA for a year by the way," Lohan adds. When asked why didn't she say so until recently, she replies: "Well it's no one's business. That's why it's anonymous!"

Seriously, with all the depressing news going on in the world, isn't it awesome that we can still laugh at these worthless celebrities and their petty bullshit?! Thanks CNN!

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

Since Jamie already did his list, I suppose it's not too early to do mine. Besides, there isn't shit coming out between now and the end of the year...


10. DAVE MATTHEWS BAND * LIVE AT FENWAY PARK

Basically my "personal pick." I love the band and I love them live, but this album is beyond any of their previous live releases. 4 discs. Plenty of new, unreleased tracks. Superb renditions of classics. It's not going to show up on anyone else's pick for "Albums of the Year" but who cares, it's still damn good.


9. THE WEATHER MACHINES * THE SOUND OF PSEDUOSCIENCE

This was one of those, "Eh, nothing new out this week, what do you recommend?!" picks. Luckily Coleen over at Needmore Discs told me about these guys. For being a debut, I was shocked at not only the fact that they made some solid and catchy rock, but also not signed to a huge label. If there's any justice in the world of music, these guys will land a major contract and come out with an even stronger follow-up!


8. ARCTIC MONKEYS * WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY I AM, THAT'S WHAT I'M NOT

Yeah yeah, there's tons of hype on these guys and it's not all deserved...but at the end of the day this album was still better than loads of others and they seemed to deal with their newfound fame better than say, The Killers. Besides, you totally don't start hating on a band until their SECOND album!


7. CURSIVE * HAPPY HOLLOW

Probably the hardest record to "get into" on the list. First listen, I was underwhelmed, but by the second and third I began to understand why so many people were raving about this collection of songs about life in the Midwest. Being on the top of the buckle of the Bible Belt, I relate a lil' too much to the themes expressed in a lot of these songs. Cursive is a great band, but this isn't where I would start if you're wanting to get into them. This is a much better jumping on point.


6. WE ARE SCIENTISTS * WITH LOVE & SQUALOR

ANOTHER solid debut album makes the list. These guys (thankfully) missed out becoming over-exposed by doing a stint on The O.C. or something like that. They (hopefully) will have a long and solid career ahead of them thanks to their amazing catchy hooks and fierce guitar work. Plus, you gotta give them props for Album Cover of the Year as well!


5. JOHNNY CASH * AMERICAN RECORDINGS V

You could argue that with each American Recordings, Johnny Cash made a better collection of covers and classics. Certainly, as a "I listened to it over and over again" standpoint, American Recordings V was the best of the series. So many good cuts, and even better, they are so deeply personal and emotional that you can hear Johnny's pain and sorrow on each and every track. Recorded in the months in between June's death and his own passing, death is all around him and like hell he's going down without a fight. Listen to his passion on "God's Gonna Cut You Down." Feel the sadness in his cover of "If You Could Read My Mind." And you can't help but sense the connection between the son and father taking their coffin of their late mother/wife back home on a train on "The Evening Train." It was written back in the 1940's and Cash makes it feel as though he's singing it about his tragic loss.

The Evening Train

I heard the laughter at the depot
But my tears fell like the rain
When I saw them place the casket
In the baggage coach of the evening train

The baby's eyes were red from weepin
His little heart is filled with pain
Oh dad he cried they're takin mama
Away from us on the evening train

I turned to walk away from the depot
It seems I heard here call my name
Take care of baby and tell him daring
That I'm goin home on the evening train

I pray that god will give me courage
To carry on til we meet again
It's hard to know she's gone forever
They're carryin her home on the evening train

I heard the laughter at the depot
But my tears fell like the rain
When I saw them place the casket
In the baggage coach of the evening train


4. BOB DYLAN * MODERN TIMES

I raved and raved about this album for weeks on this blog already, but if you didn't pick it up, it's easy to think that it's just "old timer music." You need to give it a listen. It's surprisingly rocking and melodic...he's still a master of songwriting, but the music on this one also shines...


3. DIXIE CHICKS * TAKING THE LONG WAY

Again, without actually listening to this album, you're likely to just roll your eyes. But it's fucking good, I'm telling you the truth, yo!!! We all know the shitstorm they caused when they ate that aborted fetus on stage...no...wait, simply uttered the phrase: "We're ashamed President Bush is from Texas." Wow, can you even remember that far back to when Bush and the war were popular?! What a retarded couple of years those were...

Anyway, this album is one of the few that I can just press play and listen straight through at any time. Having a bad day, it's got angry political songs on it. Feeling blue, it's got some sad country tunes. Want to line dance...eh, maybe you need to buy some Brooks n' Dunn. Fucking go buy this album...now!!!



2. CAT POWER * THE GREATEST

Two different covers and neither of them do this album justice. Especially the pink one with the gold boxing glove?! Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?! Anyway, this was easily the album I listened to the most throughout the entire year. (kind of helps that it came out back in late January) Deep, Southern swing mixed with an amazingly haunting voice, Chan Marshal has perfected her studio sound. She also has overcome the anxiety of performing live and even made an appearance on Letterman earlier in the year. Another great "put it in and let it play" album that doesn't have any lulls. If you've never bought a Cat Power album, this is an excellent place to start!


1. MATES OF STATE * BRING IT BACK

Talk about horrible album covers...I almost fought the urge to buy this (even after hearing hype about it being damn catchy pop) just because I didn't want this guy's eyes to steal my soul when I slept at night. Luckily, I ended up buying it, tossing the CD cover into the fireplace along with a Bible and some Holy Water and enjoying the best album of 2006! I cannot even begin to describe how awesome this record is. Every single song is catchy. Every single song is "single worthy." Every single...you know what, just go listen to a couple 30 second samples over at iTunes and find out what you're missing! I promise you, give Mates of State a listen and you'll be in a state of happiness.

Fuck you, you wish you were half as clever as me.

HOT FUZZ

No, not the Britney Spears-no undies-photos...sicko. This is the latest film from the guys who brought you SHAUN OF THE DEAD

LETTERMAN IS ON FIRE LATELY...

Besides having Tom Waits on earlier in the week and NOT CUTTING HIM OFF, (you bastards over at The Daily Show should know better) he's also been at the top of his game!!! I especially love his interactions with Alan Kalter. Here are some highlights:


Alan Kalter expresses his love for Britney Spears


Alan Kalter's Celebrity Interview #1


Alan Kalter's Celebrity Interview #2


Dave & Richard Simmons (It had been 6 years since he'd been on the show...last time Dave turned a fire extinguisher on him)

TOM WAITS ON THE DAILY SHOW TONIGHT!!!

That's from last night's Letterman. A nice version of LIE TO ME with his son on drums! And feel free to do a search on youtube for his interview, as it was quite insightful. (Do YOU know where the phrase "dead ringer" comes from, smartypants?!)

Let's hope he shows up on Regis & Kelly tomorrow...or better yet, The Price Is Right!!!

TOM WAITS ON LETTERMAN TONIGHT!!!

Last time he brought the house down with his awesomeness, who knows what will happen tonight?!

NEW MUSIC 11.21.06

It's been a lil' while, so let's get all caught up, shall we?


THE DEPARTED (soundtrack)

One of my favorite films of the year is also one of my favorite soundtracks. Bought it for the Van Morrison version of "Comfortably Numb," loved it for the last two Howard Shore tracks...

1. Comfortably Numb - Roger Waters, Van Morrison, The Band
2. Sail On, Sailor - The Beach Boys
3. Let It Loose - The Rolling Stones
4. Sweet Dreams - Roy Buchanan
5. One Way Out - The Allman Brothers Band
6. Baby Blue - Badfinger
7. I'm Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys
8. Nobody But Me - The Human Beinz
9. Tweedle Dee - LaVern Baker
10. Sweet Dreams (Of You) - Patsy Cline
11. The Departed Tango - Howard Shore Featuring Marc Ribot (dobro) and Larry Saltzman (Guitar)
12. Beacon Hill - Howard Shore Performed by Sharon Isbin


COLOURS ARE BRIGHTER: SONGS FOR CHILDREN (AND GROWN UPS TOO)

Honestly, I haven't found a copy stateside yet, but I reeeeeeeally can't wait to hear some of these amazing bands perform childrens tunes!

1. Four Tet featuring Princess Watermelon - Go Go Ninja Dinosaur
2. Rasputina - A Skeleton Bang
3. Franz Ferdinand - Jackie Jackson
4. Snow Patrol - I am an Astronaut
5. The Divine Comedy - Three Cheers For Pooh, Cottleston Pie, Piglet Ho
6. The Kooks - The King & I
7. Half Man Half Biscuit - David Wainwright's Feet
8. The Barcelona Pavilion - Tidy Up Tidy Up
9. Jonathan Richman - Our Dog is Getting Older Now
10. Ivor Cutler Trio - Mud
11. Belle and Sebastian - The Monkeys are Breaking Out the Zoo
12. The Flaming Lips - The Big Ol' Bug Is The New Baby Now
13. Kathryn Williams - Night Baking


KENNY G * I'M IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE

...just kidding...


A BROKEDOWN MELODY (soundtrack)

Besides having new music from Jack Johnson and Matt Costa, it also has a beautiful solo song from Eddie Vedder just playing the ukulele. I wish he'd just release an entire album of that. Yes, I'm totally being serious...


THE BEATLES * LOVE

When I first read about this album of "mesh-ups" of Beatles classics, I just kind of rolled my eyes. "How many MORE collections can they pump out of those guys?!" Then, I was lucky enough to score a 4-song EP from my awesomest record store and gave it a listen. I'm telling you...it's brilllllliant!!! They have made a remix album that...dare I say it...sounds fresher than the originals?!

...just try, (unlike Jamie) to keep the thoughts of Gay French Circus Performers out of your head as you listen to it...


TOM WAITS * ORPHANS

...and of course I saved the best for last. I don't know where to even begin with this one. If you at all a fan of Tom Waits, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Sure, being 3 discs, it's not the cheapest set out there, but damned if it isn't one of the greatest. I listened to disc one last night and disc two today...without even touching disc three, I'm telling you that it's remarkable that #1. He had this much good music just laying around and #2. Even after all these years, he's still at the top of his game.

Best song thus far HAS to be "Road To Peace." It's over six minutes, doesn't have much of a chorus, but god damn is it powerful. This and "Day After Tomorrow" proves that Tom ain't no slacker when it comes to writing political ballads. You can download a MP3 of it here and read the outstanding lyrics below...

TOM WAITS * ROAD TO PEACE
Young Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay) was only 18 years old,
He was the youngest of nine children, never spent a night away from home.
And his mother held his photograph, opening the New York Times
To see the killing has intensified along the road to peace

There was a tall, thin boy with a whispy moustache disguised as an orthodox Jew
On a crowded bus in Jerusalem, some had survived World War Two
And the thunderous explosion blew out windows 200 yards away
With more retribution and seventeen dead along the road to peace

Now at King George Ave and Jaffa Road passengers boarded bus 14a
In the aisle next to the driver Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
And the last thing that he said on earth is “God is great and God is good”
And he blew them all to kingdom come upon the road to peace

Now in response to this another kiss of death was visited upon
Yasser Taha, Israel says is an Hamas senior militant
And Israel sent four choppers in, flames engulfed, tears wide open
And it killed his wife and his three year old child leaving only blackened skeletons

It’s found his toddlers bottle and a pair of small shoes and they waved them in front of the cameras
But Israel says they did not know that his wife and child were in the car
There are roadblocks everywhere and only suffering on TV
Neither side will ever give up their smallest right along the road to peace

Israel launched it’s latest campaign against Hamas on Tuesday
Two days later Hamas shot back and killed five Israeli soldiers
So thousands dead and wounded on both sides most of them middle eastern civilians
They fill the children full of hate to fight an old man’s war and die upon the road to peace

“And this is our land we will fight with all our force” say the Palastinians and the Jews
Each side will cut off the hand of anyone who tries to stop the resistance
If the right eye offends thee then you must pluck it out
And Mahmoud Abbas said Sharon had been lost out along the road to peace

Once Kissinger said “we have no friends, America only has interests”
Now our president wants to be seen as a hero and he’s hungry for re-election
But Bush is reluctant to risk his future in the fear of his political failures
So he plays chess at his desk and poses for the press 10,000 miles from the road to peace

In the video that they found at the home of Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
He held a Kalashnikov rifle and he spoke with a voice like a boy
He was an excellent student, he studied so hard, it was as if he had a future
He told his mother that he had a test that day out along the road to peace

The fundamentalist killing on both sides is standing in the path of peace
But tell me why are we arming the Israeli army with guns and tanks and bullets?
And if God is great and God is good why can’t he change the hearts of men?
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
Maybe God himself is lost and needs help
He’s out upon the road to peace

Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
And he’s lost upon the road to peace
And he’s lost upon the road to peace
Out upon the road to peace.

PREPARE TO STAB OUT YOUR EYES...WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD

Okay, so I guess this video hit the web a couple weeks ago (I'm sooooo out of the loop) and is both painfully awful and eeriely addictive. You cannot look away...plus it's something totally out of The Office in that, anyone who's ever worked for a giant corporation and been forced to sit through shit like this, can sadly relate to the poor souls who were there watching it unfold before their eyes...



It is even better
Now that we’re the same
Two great companies come together
Now, MBNA is B of A

And it’s one bank
One card
One name that’s known all over the world
One spirit
We get to share it
Leading us all to higher standards

[ooohh, mmmm]

Do you like the cowboys?
Or your university?
Do you like the Yankees?
Or is NASCAR more your speed?
Well it’s your choice
Your right
To pick a card that shows
Your heart and your pride

We’re one with affinity
And we’ll carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come to meet Bruce Hammonds
Have you come to meet Leah McGee
Have you heard about Michelle Shepherd
She’s leading the team in the Northeast

And we’ve got Bank One on the run
What’s in your wallet? It’s not Capital One
It’s us, so which card are you?
Integration’s never had us feeling so good
And we’ll make lots of money, forever I can sing
About trusting in teamwork and doing the right thing
We’ll live out our core values
While the competition crawls
‘cause they want what we have got
But it’s only here at Bank of America

One bank
One card
One name that’s known all over the world
One heart , filled with spirit
We feel it, we share it

One bank working everyday
To bring higher standards
Higher standards
One
We are one, yeah
We are one
We are one bank

[standing ovation]

But wait, it gets's even awesomener. David Cross showed up at a Modest Mouse show in New York on Saturday and gave it his all...



So this thing now has a life on it's own. Let's hope U2 actually performs it on their next tour!
(stolen from stereogum)

ZODIAC TRAILER...FINALLY!!!

Everything about this film looks perfect. Seriously, it appears like it was MADE in the 1970's, every single detail looks flawless. I love how Fincher uses CG in interesting, effective ways like carrying a camera over a cityscape instead of crazy special effect shots that pull you right out of the experience. Grrrrr, why can't it be 2007 yet?!

GEORGE JONES ON LETTERMAN

This is my Father's favorite musican ever. I used to be forced to listen to his records all throughout my childhood. I remember thinking to myself, "I HATE George Jones!!!" Little did I realize that I'd one day appreciate old Country & Western tunes and turn out to be a lot more like my Father than I originally thought.

With my Father's recent battle with Cancer and his health taking a turn for the worse, I was beside myself as I caught the end of Letterman last night and saw his Idol performing one of his biggest hits ever. This one's for you, Dad.

HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY
He said, "I'll love you 'til I die."
She told him, "You'll forget in time."
As the years went slowly by,
She still prayed upon his mind.

He kept her picture on the wall.
Went half crazy now and then.
But he still loved her through it all,
Hoping she'd come back again.

Kept some letters by his bed,
Dated 1962.
He had underlined in red
Every single 'I love you'.

I went to see him just today,
But I didn't see no tears.
All dressed up to go away,
First time I'd seen him smile in years.

He stopped loving her today,
They placed a wreath upon his door,
And soon they'll carry him away,
He stopped loving her today.

You know, she came to see him last time.
And we were all wonderin' if she would.
And it kept runnin' through my mind,
This time he's over her for good.

He stopped loving her today,
They placed a wreath upon his door,
And soon they'll carry him away,
He stopped loving her today.

ANOTHER SIMPSONS MOVIE TEASER...

I just wish they would give us an actual trailer with some sort of idea of what the plot is going to be...

JOHNNY CASH * GOD'S GONNA CUT YOU DOWN

JAY LENO, MARTHA STEWART, & BORAT

The funniest and oddest thing you'll see all day long. (I wonder how much of this was scripted...clearly the idea of getting Borat and Martha Stewart near a bed was genius!)

SPIDER-MAN 3 TRAILER

You all know how I've felt about the previous films, (80 year old Aunt May hanging off the side of a building with a god damn umbrella?!) but I like the "darker" tone of this one!

Add this to the excitement that the next Superman film is getting ready to start filming soon, (and is going to simply be called Superman: Man of Steel) filming on the sequel to Batman Begins, (The Dark Knight) is already underway in Europe and Bryan Singer has expressed intrest in directing the Wolverine spin-off feature film in a couple years...it's a Comic Book Nerd's FANTASY!!!

JUST REMINDING YOU...

...not to forget about my (and my buddies) bastard love child, Comic Strip Joint where I continue to post my latest and (quit laughing) greatest comics.

LAST NIGHT'S LOST...

***SPOILERS***
Only read on if you've actually seen the episode, dumbass...

Wow. I've been reading a TON of message boards last night and into today and it seems like a lot of people felt "let down" by last night's episode (and the mini-six-episode-season altogeher?!) Some people felt as if the show was getting "soap operaish" with the love and emotion it was bringing into last night's storyline. Others thought that not enough questions were answered and the "clifhanger" wasn't very exciting...

All I want to ask is: What do you people WANT from a TV show?!



Ask Molly, the last four minutes of LOST last night had me on the edge of my seat. I literally sat up and hunched forward. The way Jack totally turned everything around and seemed to be in control of The Others for the first time...since...um...ever, was fantabulous!!!



The tension was at an all-time high as The Others pulled Sawyer out of his cage and forced Kate to watch him be executed.



Only to be called over the walkie talkie that Jack had "Their Leader" under the knife and if they didn't let Kate and Sawyer go, Ben (Henry) would bleed to death.



I'm telling you, it was something else. And I've read some interesting theories as to why Kate refused to run away the (numerous) times she actually could have. Perhaps it was something that Ben told her as they had their "on the beach breakfast" (in which they alluded that something had happened or was told to her, but we never saw.) Or perhaps, it was Alex's (the French Woman's daughter) screaming out, "They're going to kill your boyfriend." Sure, Kate and Sawyer totally got it on (in the bear cage nonetheless, eeeeew) but perhaps Kate's real love is Jack? She desperately seemed like she didn't want to leave at the end, and the episode ended with Jack yelling at her to "RUN!!!"



Was it simply because Sawyer had told her that they were on another island, different from the one they had crashed upon?! Or are there more sinister things beneath the surface? Before heading off to kill Sawyer, one of The Others mentioned that "Shepherd isn't even on Jacob's list." Who the hell is JACOB?! The only Other we knew of that had "a list" was Ethan and he died way back in the first season! Is there another "Other" among The Survivors on the beach?! Hmmmm...

All in all, I'm actually happy that they've rulled against reruns and (although Feburary is a looooooong ways away) I'll enjoy seeing all 16 remaining episodes back to back!

...besides, with the release of McFarlane's LOST Figures coming in the next couple of weeks, you can totally just create your own episodes!!!

WHAT THE HELL?! WE WON?!

Such a strange...foreign feeling. I mean, shit...Democrats control BOTH HOUSES OF CONGRESS?! Rumsfeld RESIGNS?! Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum is DEFEATED?! Phil "I Want Your Medical Records" Kline is GONE?!

FUCK YEEEEEEEEEAH!

(that photo was taken last year during the Holidays...my son isn't really Hitler, that's actually hot coco)

VOTE OR DIE!!!

Seriously...get your asses out there.

DON'T FORGET...

WOWAHWEEWA!

This "accused-minister-turned-meth-buyer-and-gay-sex-haver" is turning into an interesting tidbit of another "Holier Than Thou" hypocrite getting exposed for the fraud he is.

I mean, it's not like he insulted our troops, but still...

Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.

Haggard resigned Thursday as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and stepped down as leader of his Colorado megachurch while the two groups investigate the allegations.

Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

"I bought it for myself but never used it," he said. "I was tempted, but I never used it."

Yes, for the record, he let a gay man sell him Crystal Meth and give him a massage, but he never used it or actually had sex with the guy. Cause, you can totally trust his word.

Oh, and he was recently listed as one of Time Magazine's 25 Most Influential Evangelicals in America. In fact, Harper's even quoted, “No pastor in America holds more sway over the political direction of evangelicalism than does Pastor Ted.”

Oops.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

...so scary, yet true...

NEW MUSIC 10.31.06

This week covers some discs I picked up over the past couple of weeks as well...


GOMEZ (Greatest Hits)


ME FIRST & THE GIMME GIMMES * LOVE THEIR COUNTRY

Lookin' For Love needed a punk version. And Garth Brooks should totally work with these guys on his next album!!!


LUCINDA WILLIAMS * CAR WHEELS ON A GRAVEL ROAD

This re-issue release comes with a live concert disc from 1998 as well! It'll hold you over until Lucinda graces us with a new studio album in 2007.


BRIGHT EYES * NOISE FLOOR (Rarities 1998-2005)

Even his table scraps are tasty!


BEN FOLDS * SUPERSUNNYSPEEDGRAPHIC

A collection of his three 2005 EPS all wrapped into one nice package. You get his amazing cover of The Cure's "In Between Days" and The Darkness' "Get Your Hands Off My Woman" along with his popular cover of Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't Shit."

But the best is a new(er) song entitled "All U Can Eat" that I ended up putting on my XMAS mix last year...

All U Can Eat
Written by Ben Folds


So I'm lookin' at all the people in this restaurant
What do you think they weigh?
Look out the window to the parking lot
at their SUVs taking all of the space

They give no fuck
they talk as loud as they want
They give no fuck
just as long as there's enough for them

Gonna get on the microphone down at Wal-Mart
Talk about some shit that's been on my mind
Talk about the state of this great nation of ours
People, look to you left, yeah, look to your right

They give no fuck
they buy as much as they want
They give no fuck
just as long as there's enough for them

(piano solo)

So I look at the people lining up for plastic
I'd like to see 'em in the National Geographic
Squatting bare-assed in the dirt eating rice from a bowl
With a towel on their head or maybe a bone in their nose

See that asshole with the peace sign on his license plate
Giving me the finger and running me out of his lane
God made us number one cause he loves us the best
Well maybe he should go bless someone else for a while, give us a rest

Just so everyone can see
We've eaten all that we can eat


NELLIE MCKAY * PRETTY LITTLE HEAD

What a long and crazy journey this album has gone through. Like that of Fiona Apple's Extraordinary Machine, this was another album that SONY refused to release "as is." It needed a single and it sure as hell needed to be trimmed down to a single album, rather than the double disc she was wanting. So she took her songs, and released it on her own imprint Hungry Mouse. I haven't had a chance to listen to more than a few songs, but it's anything but boring. She mixes up musical stylings and offers plenty in the lyrical department. If you enjoy pretty piano tunes with some spunk and attitude, you might wanna check this one out.


WILLIE NELSON * SONGBIRD

Good ol' Willie. When he's not getting busted for having three tons of mushrooms and weed on his tour bus, he's making yet ANOTHER album. This time, he's working with Mister "Three Album Releases In A Single Year" Ryan Adams and the results are much better than his previous discs It Will Always Be or The Great Divide. His cover of Fleetwood Mac's "Songbird" is a keeper and will probably be making on to this year's XMAS release.