Jesus Tapdancin' Christ...imagine Fox News 100 days from now!!!
4.30.2009
4.28.2009
WE GOTS A 60 VOTE MAJORITY NOW
Arlen Specter just switched from a Republican to a Democrat today. As soon as the GOP quits being sore losers and FINALLY SEATS Al Franken, the Democrats will have the 60 votes they need to pass anything they damn well choose.
Be prepared conservatives, here's a short list of what you have to look forward to within the next couple of years:
GAY MARRIAGE FOR EVERYONE! What's that? You enjoy being married to someone of the opposite sex? Too bad, you gotta marry a gay person now!!!
EVERY CAR WILL NOW RUN ON MAPLE SYRUP! Goodbye oil, hello tastiness!
ABORTIONS FOR ALL! Men, women, it doesn't matter.
THE ONLY RECOGNIZED GOD SHALL BE BOB MARLEY! Yah man!
...okay, fine...none of that shit will occur. But you know that the paranoid "SOCIALISM IS AROUND THE CORNER" fucks are deep within their bunkers today, convinced that the end of America is upon us.
As for me, I'm just glad that we don't even need the GOP's input on things like Health Care Reform any more. Not that they offered anything constructive outside of shouting "nananana boo boo" and sticking their fingers in their ears.
Be prepared conservatives, here's a short list of what you have to look forward to within the next couple of years:
GAY MARRIAGE FOR EVERYONE! What's that? You enjoy being married to someone of the opposite sex? Too bad, you gotta marry a gay person now!!!
EVERY CAR WILL NOW RUN ON MAPLE SYRUP! Goodbye oil, hello tastiness!
ABORTIONS FOR ALL! Men, women, it doesn't matter.
THE ONLY RECOGNIZED GOD SHALL BE BOB MARLEY! Yah man!
...okay, fine...none of that shit will occur. But you know that the paranoid "SOCIALISM IS AROUND THE CORNER" fucks are deep within their bunkers today, convinced that the end of America is upon us.
As for me, I'm just glad that we don't even need the GOP's input on things like Health Care Reform any more. Not that they offered anything constructive outside of shouting "nananana boo boo" and sticking their fingers in their ears.
4.25.2009
IT'S ABOUT TIME OBAMA STARTS PLAYING HARDBALL
Obama recently had a closed-door session with Republican leaders, reminding them that the last time he attempted to compromise with them, (putting in 40% of tax breaks into the stimulus) they gave him ZERO votes. Both times.
So when it comes to Health Care Reform, he's not even bothering to give them an inch. Come October 15th, he doesn't need a single vote from them anyway and plans on just passing it through as "reconciliation," which means he doesn't need 60 votes and the GOP can't even filibuster it if they wanted to.
But hey, maybe they can just move off to Texasland, and form their own damn country.
So when it comes to Health Care Reform, he's not even bothering to give them an inch. Come October 15th, he doesn't need a single vote from them anyway and plans on just passing it through as "reconciliation," which means he doesn't need 60 votes and the GOP can't even filibuster it if they wanted to.
But hey, maybe they can just move off to Texasland, and form their own damn country.
4.20.2009
ADELE COVERS DYLAN...
MUCH better than Garth Brooks.
Make You Feel My Love is off my favorite Dylan album, "Time Out Of Mind."
Make You Feel My Love is off my favorite Dylan album, "Time Out Of Mind."
4.16.2009
I GOTS MYSELF TEABAGGED
Even though I had to squeeze in a haircut and making sure I got home in time to pick Molly up before we headed out to Amanda and Kevin's house to have dinner and watch Lost, I HAD to drive downtown and catch a glimpse of the Tea Bag Party!!!
If you had trouble finding the place (seriously, it was at Liberty Memorial, how could you fucking MISS IT?!) there were guys walking around holding signs to direct you to the festivities.
While there were more people there than I figured (I got there right at 4, when the thing started) there wasn't 4,000-5,000 as the organizers stated today in the newspaper. Perhaps a TON more people showed up after I had left, but while I was there, I'd say the figure was much closer to 1,500 or so.
People brought their kids, which I thought was kind of odd. I mean, I took Lex to see Barack Obama speak at Liberty Memorial (which had *ahem* a turnout in the 70,000's or so) but that wasn't a protest...it was a chance to see the future President of the United States in person. I've never gone to a war protest or a gay rights protest before, but if I did, I don't think I'd feel comfortable bringing my son along.
Especially not to hold a sign and let him be used as some sort of political prop.
There were a lot of signs concerning taxes, which I felt were odd. Isn't Obama LOWERING taxes on 95% of Americans? Perhaps these two are making more than $250,000 a year...somehow I doubt it.
Some of these people seemed out of place. NO MORE WARS?! Are you kidding me? These people LOVE their wars!!! They have no problem with spending trillions on blowing people up...it's wanting to help people pay their bills or allow them to keep their jobs that they have a problem with!
A PEACE SIGN?! AND A RAINBOW ONE AT THAT?! I'll be surprised if this person made it out alive.
This guy was having so much fun, he gave himself TWO boners!
...but I know what you're saying. "Travis, where are the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally crazy people at? The ones that make your head spin and your eyes cross and your teeth hurt?" Well, look no further...
Yes, that's a fetus...SMOKING?! I'm guessing he's protesting the fact that his baby can't afford cigarettes cause Obama taxes them too much?! Wow. You can't argue with that...don't even try.
...and my absolute favorite...
First off, I want it to be known (in case this photo gets out there running wild on the internets) that the kid drinking the Dr. Pepper IS NOT the one holding this sign. That poor kid just got dragged there by his parents and happened to wander into this shot.
Secondly, I've stared at this photo for hours on end and STILL can't make sense of it. Green is Red. What the fuck does that even mean? And the watermelon thing? I mean, that has NO OTHER REASON to be on there besides our President is black, right? Am I missing something?
There's more photos over there on my Flickr account. I almost wished I could have stayed longer and listened to them chant and shout out phrases, but since I got there when it had barely started, they were pretty much just standing around and staring at one another. It was really pretty lame.
If you had trouble finding the place (seriously, it was at Liberty Memorial, how could you fucking MISS IT?!) there were guys walking around holding signs to direct you to the festivities.
While there were more people there than I figured (I got there right at 4, when the thing started) there wasn't 4,000-5,000 as the organizers stated today in the newspaper. Perhaps a TON more people showed up after I had left, but while I was there, I'd say the figure was much closer to 1,500 or so.
People brought their kids, which I thought was kind of odd. I mean, I took Lex to see Barack Obama speak at Liberty Memorial (which had *ahem* a turnout in the 70,000's or so) but that wasn't a protest...it was a chance to see the future President of the United States in person. I've never gone to a war protest or a gay rights protest before, but if I did, I don't think I'd feel comfortable bringing my son along.
Especially not to hold a sign and let him be used as some sort of political prop.
There were a lot of signs concerning taxes, which I felt were odd. Isn't Obama LOWERING taxes on 95% of Americans? Perhaps these two are making more than $250,000 a year...somehow I doubt it.
Some of these people seemed out of place. NO MORE WARS?! Are you kidding me? These people LOVE their wars!!! They have no problem with spending trillions on blowing people up...it's wanting to help people pay their bills or allow them to keep their jobs that they have a problem with!
A PEACE SIGN?! AND A RAINBOW ONE AT THAT?! I'll be surprised if this person made it out alive.
This guy was having so much fun, he gave himself TWO boners!
...but I know what you're saying. "Travis, where are the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally crazy people at? The ones that make your head spin and your eyes cross and your teeth hurt?" Well, look no further...
Yes, that's a fetus...SMOKING?! I'm guessing he's protesting the fact that his baby can't afford cigarettes cause Obama taxes them too much?! Wow. You can't argue with that...don't even try.
...and my absolute favorite...
First off, I want it to be known (in case this photo gets out there running wild on the internets) that the kid drinking the Dr. Pepper IS NOT the one holding this sign. That poor kid just got dragged there by his parents and happened to wander into this shot.
Secondly, I've stared at this photo for hours on end and STILL can't make sense of it. Green is Red. What the fuck does that even mean? And the watermelon thing? I mean, that has NO OTHER REASON to be on there besides our President is black, right? Am I missing something?
There's more photos over there on my Flickr account. I almost wished I could have stayed longer and listened to them chant and shout out phrases, but since I got there when it had barely started, they were pretty much just standing around and staring at one another. It was really pretty lame.
4.14.2009
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS ANY FUNNIER IF YOU TRIED
Now you can tea bag your favorite (or least favorite) liberal, courtesy of a national grassroots movement, of hard-working, concerned citizens...no, wait...courtesy of the Republican National Committee.
...my mistake.
4.13.2009
LISTEN IN AS THE WINGNUTS GATHER FOR TEA BAGGERY
Did you know that when the TV's switch over to digital in June, it's actually a way for the Federal Government to brainwash us all? No? Well consider yourself INFORMED, beeeeeeyoches...
4.11.2009
WOODY HARRELSON IS MY HERO
He claims he punched a paparazzi in the face, (who was following him and his daughter around at the airport) because he thought the photographer was a zombie.
...no, seriously.
"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist.
"With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.
TMZ has the video.
...no, seriously.
"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist.
"With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.
TMZ has the video.
4.10.2009
ALL THIS POPULIST RAGE IS GREAT FOR RATINGS...
...but bad for America.
Glenn Beck has become a parody of himself and it only took a couple of months. The sad thing is, people who are desperate, needing a quick fix to make themselves feel better about their own struggles, watch this ridiculous act and think they're supposed to "STAND UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!" But in reality, it's just a sideshow...a joke on these poor, hapless souls, who were already paranoid and on edge to begin with.
Did you see how insanely quick Beck went from yelling at the top of his voice, pounding the table, to smiling and laughing at the guy covered in water?! He can turn on the ANGER with the flip of a switch and then go right back to being the "rodeo clown" he pretends to be once people start shooting cops cause he kinda-sorta told his viewers that Obama was going to take their guns away.
Glenn Beck has become a parody of himself and it only took a couple of months. The sad thing is, people who are desperate, needing a quick fix to make themselves feel better about their own struggles, watch this ridiculous act and think they're supposed to "STAND UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!" But in reality, it's just a sideshow...a joke on these poor, hapless souls, who were already paranoid and on edge to begin with.
Did you see how insanely quick Beck went from yelling at the top of his voice, pounding the table, to smiling and laughing at the guy covered in water?! He can turn on the ANGER with the flip of a switch and then go right back to being the "rodeo clown" he pretends to be once people start shooting cops cause he kinda-sorta told his viewers that Obama was going to take their guns away.
DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW WHAT "TEA BAGGING" REALLY MEANS?!
Conservatives all across the country are counting down to April 15th, when the next batch of Tea Parties begin. (There's TWO happening in Kansas City alone?! Maybe they can take turns tea baggin' each other?)
I can't say I completely understand their frustration, (are they all making over $250,000? No? Then aren't they actually going to be taxed less?!) but at least it gives us some nice videos to watch as these loons spew their insane thoughts to anyone with a camera.
All of these people don't think our President was even born in America...yes, still...
This next one shows you how quickly things can get out of control when you start talking "revolution!" They start out laughing and having a fun time...then around 2:45 they start getting craaaaaaaazy and shouting at this poor sap...
Huffington Post has more.
And keep an eye out for my comic about this silly shit in next week's Pitch.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
I can't say I completely understand their frustration, (are they all making over $250,000? No? Then aren't they actually going to be taxed less?!) but at least it gives us some nice videos to watch as these loons spew their insane thoughts to anyone with a camera.
All of these people don't think our President was even born in America...yes, still...
This next one shows you how quickly things can get out of control when you start talking "revolution!" They start out laughing and having a fun time...then around 2:45 they start getting craaaaaaaazy and shouting at this poor sap...
Huffington Post has more.
And keep an eye out for my comic about this silly shit in next week's Pitch.
4.08.2009
THE CONSERVATIVES HAVE LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS
They are so off-the-wall crazy and fearful and scared shitless of Obama and liberals...and it's only been like 10 WEEKS?! Imagine how fucking nuts they're going to be a couple years from now.
First up, Jon Stewart lays out how fucking ridiculous the "Socialism, Facisim, Communism" talk really has gotten lately...
The quote that nails it on the head, "I think you might be confusing "tyranny" with "losing."
Then, just today, this hillllllllarious new ad for NationForMarriage.org started making the rounds on the internets and soon televisions...
Seriously. That's not a parody. That's a REAL ad that they're REALLY going to air on TV and think that REAL people aren't going to REALLY laugh their asses off.
"My freedom will be taken away."
"I will have no choice."
"The storm is coming..."
But my favorite is the douche at the end, informing us all that a "Rainbow Coalition" is forming to stand for love and marriage. Um, first off, "Rainbow Coalition" is the name of Jesse Jackson's non-profit organization, and secondly, it sounds really, really gay.
First up, Jon Stewart lays out how fucking ridiculous the "Socialism, Facisim, Communism" talk really has gotten lately...
The quote that nails it on the head, "I think you might be confusing "tyranny" with "losing."
Then, just today, this hillllllllarious new ad for NationForMarriage.org started making the rounds on the internets and soon televisions...
Seriously. That's not a parody. That's a REAL ad that they're REALLY going to air on TV and think that REAL people aren't going to REALLY laugh their asses off.
"My freedom will be taken away."
"I will have no choice."
"The storm is coming..."
But my favorite is the douche at the end, informing us all that a "Rainbow Coalition" is forming to stand for love and marriage. Um, first off, "Rainbow Coalition" is the name of Jesse Jackson's non-profit organization, and secondly, it sounds really, really gay.
4.06.2009
OBAMA GONNA TAKE MY GUNS AWAY!!!
Lots of bloggers are writing much better articles than I can even try to complete while I'm stuck at work...all about the nutball in Philly who was scared the government was coming to take away his guns, so he LOADED UP HIS AUTOMATIC WEAPONS AND KILLED THREE POLICE OFFICERS?! Man, that oughta show 'em!
Go here and here and here to watch the newsclips of his friends describe this paranoid prick.
They say things like...
He just basically told me he didn’t like the Zionist control over our government, he didn’t like that there was about to be military policing, he didn’t believe in the fact that there was about to be a gun ban. He didn’t like anything that was going on in the political forefront, and he was basically very politically active, and he didn’t agree with what was going on right now in the United States of America.
Gee, I wonder where he'd get such a crazy idea like that?!
It's one thing to make fun of Glenn Beck and point fingers at him and laugh...but some people take the shit he spews as gospel. And preying on people's paranoia is a dangerous situation within itself. Obama's a socialist! He's going to take away your guns! FEMA is sitting up concentration camps!!!
...is it any wonder a horrible, tragic situation occurred?
And yet, some of the media think it might have been something else entirely. Turns out it was all over an argument about a dog peeing on the carpet?! Who knew?
Go here and here and here to watch the newsclips of his friends describe this paranoid prick.
They say things like...
He just basically told me he didn’t like the Zionist control over our government, he didn’t like that there was about to be military policing, he didn’t believe in the fact that there was about to be a gun ban. He didn’t like anything that was going on in the political forefront, and he was basically very politically active, and he didn’t agree with what was going on right now in the United States of America.
Gee, I wonder where he'd get such a crazy idea like that?!
It's one thing to make fun of Glenn Beck and point fingers at him and laugh...but some people take the shit he spews as gospel. And preying on people's paranoia is a dangerous situation within itself. Obama's a socialist! He's going to take away your guns! FEMA is sitting up concentration camps!!!
...is it any wonder a horrible, tragic situation occurred?
And yet, some of the media think it might have been something else entirely. Turns out it was all over an argument about a dog peeing on the carpet?! Who knew?
4.03.2009
*** SQUISH!!! ***
...that's the sound of conservatives' heads exploding...
Because Iowa, yes THAT Iowa, just unanimously ruled that Gay Marriage is legal.
UNANIMOUSLY.
IOWA????!!!
Read all about it here and then pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.
Because Iowa, yes THAT Iowa, just unanimously ruled that Gay Marriage is legal.
UNANIMOUSLY.
IOWA????!!!
Read all about it here and then pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.
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