2.01.2007

BOSTON IS RETARRRRRRRDED!

Bar none. If you haven't been following the "AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE-BOSTON BOMB SCARE" shame on you. Basically Cartoon Network called upon graffiti and performance artists to hang up these signs all across major US cities:



And they did so...THREE WEEKS AGO!!! In major cities such as Seattle, Pittsburg, Manhattan, and Brooklyn all had these signs hung up on overpasses, tunnels, sides of buildings, etc. And if you think it was just a handful, get a load of this:

"Police in Philadelphia said they believed their city had 56 devices.

The New York Police Department removed 41 of the devices — 38 in Manhattan and three in Brooklyn, according to spokesman Paul Browne. The NYPD had not received any complaints. But when it became aware of the situation, it contacted Cartoon Network, which provided the locations so the devices could be removed."


That's 97 devices and not a single phone call...especially in NEW YORK, you know, the place that has actually been ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS!!!

But Boston...oh, Boston. Bostonians were freaked the fuck out. What could these devices do? Did they simply show an 8-bit cartoon character flipping you off, or did they unleash toxic nerve gas like that scene from Batman with The Joker and the parade?! So people phoned the police and National Security was brought in and THE ENTIRE CITY OF BOSTON SHUT DOWN!!!

...folks, an entire city was brought to it's knees over a god damn Lite Brite. (hat-tip Ryan)

But...but they could've been BOMBS!!! We all know that the Terrorists have a wicked sense of humor! Oh, and that bombs are easily made using fucking D batteries?!



Seriously, read some of these quotes from the article:

"It's clear the intent was to get attention by causing fear and unrest that there was a bomb in that location," Assistant Attorney General John Grossman said at their arraignment.

The 1-foot tall signs, which were lit up at night, resembled a circuit board, with protruding wires and batteries. Most depicted a boxy, cartoon character giving passersby the finger — a more obvious sight when darkness fell.

The men did not speak or enter their own pleas, but they appeared amused and smiled as the prosecutor talked about the device found at Sullivan Station underneath Interstate 93, looking like it had C-4 explosive.

"The appearance of this device and its location are crucial," Grossman said. "This device looks like a bomb."

Some in the gallery snickered.

Outside the courthouse, Michael Rich, a lawyer for both of the men, said the description of a bomb-like device could be used for any electronic device.

"If somebody had left a VCR on the ground it would have been a device with wires, electronic components and a power source," he said.


We seriously need to reevaluate how fucked up things have gotten in this country and how the Government has scared us into little children. At least these guys seem to be taking it in stride...for now:



And here's how they did it:

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